Hellboy and I agree...
Rasputin was pretty much a douche.
Little know fact (okay, actually, it's not so little-known), my mother's mother's side of the family, the Trentovichs, are related (were related, let's face it, they all kicked off between 50 and 75 years ago) to the Romanovs. First cousins, in fact. And maybe this is just wishful thinking, but maybe if Rasputin hadn't been such a dick, running around and killing Alexi and doinkin' Catherine, that slut, maybe tzar Nicholas wouldn't have had so much on his mind so that he could have maybe, I dunno, NOT been responsible for the fall of Russia and the death of his family at the hands of angry denizens. Maybe right now I would be the god damn duchess and every Easter I would be having Easter egg hunts with Faberge eggs, and Anastasia could kiss my ass. Damn it.
You know, or not.
Oh, that's right. You heard me. I'm a Russian Imperialist.*
But at least I'm not a damn Commie.
(*Actually, I'm not, and my argument is terribly flawed since Catherine wasn't really a slut [as far as I know, I mean, I wasn't there] and Nicholas II was a horrible tzar, but it is hysterical to my sleep-deprived, smoothie-fueled mind. The rest of the story is true, though; I am related to the royal family and Rasputin really was a douche. Oh, and I'm not a damn Commie.)
Little know fact (okay, actually, it's not so little-known), my mother's mother's side of the family, the Trentovichs, are related (were related, let's face it, they all kicked off between 50 and 75 years ago) to the Romanovs. First cousins, in fact. And maybe this is just wishful thinking, but maybe if Rasputin hadn't been such a dick, running around and killing Alexi and doinkin' Catherine, that slut, maybe tzar Nicholas wouldn't have had so much on his mind so that he could have maybe, I dunno, NOT been responsible for the fall of Russia and the death of his family at the hands of angry denizens. Maybe right now I would be the god damn duchess and every Easter I would be having Easter egg hunts with Faberge eggs, and Anastasia could kiss my ass. Damn it.
You know, or not.
Oh, that's right. You heard me. I'm a Russian Imperialist.*
But at least I'm not a damn Commie.
(*Actually, I'm not, and my argument is terribly flawed since Catherine wasn't really a slut [as far as I know, I mean, I wasn't there] and Nicholas II was a horrible tzar, but it is hysterical to my sleep-deprived, smoothie-fueled mind. The rest of the story is true, though; I am related to the royal family and Rasputin really was a douche. Oh, and I'm not a damn Commie.)