Like a daisy in my lazy eye
I dont think I'm ready.
I woke up this morning grumpy, grumpy that I had to wake up to write a paper, grumpy that I have to miss the gym again and grumpy that my family is being such a pain in the ass again. Im actually almost done with the paper, and the coffee that I drank this morning with all its amazing sugar did all the work in waking my ass up, but of course the last push that I need to do to finish it I'm procrastinating it. Surprise Surprise. I've missed the gym for a week and already I feel like I'm falling behind. I was never like this, I always accepted my body as is or wanted to change parts of it but never put enough effort to try. When did my expectations rise into something so surprising? Is it me or society's expectations? I just dont want it to control me. I dont want these obssesive compulsive thoughts. I am who I am. Popeye. He's one of my hereos. =)
I havent written in here for awhile and it feels good to put it out into the world again. Even if no one reads it, theyre my thoughts and my writing can always be found in small pieces of white paper or randon journals or even in the back of school notebooks. I am everywhere. And isnt that what every writer wants? To be eternalized? So even when my sheets of paper become dust I will live on through the writing I publish in magazines or lol livejournal. ahh to dream.
I've found its easier to resent my mother than actually try to love her. Isnt that horrible? My sister doesnt approve, of course I didnt quite put it that way but she feels I should try to baby my mother since she's getting older and alone. She's an adult. She has her resources. She's always had them. "I love you but its hard to love you."
I love Pandora. I find such great happiness through the find of new music and songs, lyrics, beats that resonate with my life. Modest Mouse- one day I will stand by you and listen to your words flow thru my willing ears. Deftones is coming and although it is 30 dollars and I am officially trying to save money..... who? responsible? me? I know I know! i'm trying. It hasnt been easy... anywho they're coming and I'm thinking about going. Last time I tried seeing them was 5 years ago, and that definately did not go well.
I want/need to buy a camera. Expertise advice needed. Im thinking about taking a photography class next semester... if my fucking financial aid wants to go through. Even if it doesnt though I would need to pay for it myself and get my ass out of this college.
So there's a list to do
Shit back to work
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
Boys Like Her: Transfictions
I woke up this morning grumpy, grumpy that I had to wake up to write a paper, grumpy that I have to miss the gym again and grumpy that my family is being such a pain in the ass again. Im actually almost done with the paper, and the coffee that I drank this morning with all its amazing sugar did all the work in waking my ass up, but of course the last push that I need to do to finish it I'm procrastinating it. Surprise Surprise. I've missed the gym for a week and already I feel like I'm falling behind. I was never like this, I always accepted my body as is or wanted to change parts of it but never put enough effort to try. When did my expectations rise into something so surprising? Is it me or society's expectations? I just dont want it to control me. I dont want these obssesive compulsive thoughts. I am who I am. Popeye. He's one of my hereos. =)
I havent written in here for awhile and it feels good to put it out into the world again. Even if no one reads it, theyre my thoughts and my writing can always be found in small pieces of white paper or randon journals or even in the back of school notebooks. I am everywhere. And isnt that what every writer wants? To be eternalized? So even when my sheets of paper become dust I will live on through the writing I publish in magazines or lol livejournal. ahh to dream.
I've found its easier to resent my mother than actually try to love her. Isnt that horrible? My sister doesnt approve, of course I didnt quite put it that way but she feels I should try to baby my mother since she's getting older and alone. She's an adult. She has her resources. She's always had them. "I love you but its hard to love you."
I love Pandora. I find such great happiness through the find of new music and songs, lyrics, beats that resonate with my life. Modest Mouse- one day I will stand by you and listen to your words flow thru my willing ears. Deftones is coming and although it is 30 dollars and I am officially trying to save money..... who? responsible? me? I know I know! i'm trying. It hasnt been easy... anywho they're coming and I'm thinking about going. Last time I tried seeing them was 5 years ago, and that definately did not go well.
I want/need to buy a camera. Expertise advice needed. Im thinking about taking a photography class next semester... if my fucking financial aid wants to go through. Even if it doesnt though I would need to pay for it myself and get my ass out of this college.
So there's a list to do
Shit back to work
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
Boys Like Her: Transfictions