a tiger is never down long.

[paper__tiger]

tiger.
i just don't feel the same. i don't feel graceful or proud or dangerous anymore.
i feel more and more and more like a bird with every day that goes by.
i feel small and hollow-boned, gently colored and humbly singing. i want to fly very high above everything i see. i want to plug my headphones into the clouds and let the wind wrap me in its arms. i want to own all of new york city with my wings, making my way from central park to midtown to coney island every day. i want to leave my body and find a new life with different laws and different cages. start again, maybe get something right.
i don't know if this is just a phase though.
it probably doesn't make much sense, but i feel like a major part of my identity is being threatened right now. i've always had tigers to relate to, tigers to make me feel beautiful, tigers to remind me of who i am and where' i'm from. she called me tiger. and now, i'm just not sure that i believe in myself like that anymore. that person i was, i mean.
i don't think i'm him anymore.
i'm not a paper tiger anymore.
but maybe this will all pass.
everything else seems to.
we'll see.
brandon.