man and wife/damaged goods/domestic violence/what did i teach you?/we are okay okay okay.
she has amazing lungs.
mine are just so tired.
and i have sand in my hair and i know that when i calm down enough to sleep, i'll wake up in the morning with sand in my bed.
but i don't mind.
what i do mind is knowing that right now she's sleeping alone and i'm going to be sleeping alone and when i wake up in the morning, we aren't going to be all tangled up in each other.
remember that time we went to that beach in tn and watched amelie that night? and how we yelled and shouted at each other and no one was around to hear us besides the trees that echoed our voices, wanting desperately to be alive like us?
and i would like to go on record as saying that one of my life goals is to always be a good lover. i mean, if you can't love well, then what they fuck are you doing with your life? i want to understand her and be able to know just what to say or do without her having to tell me. i want to inspire and comfort and satisfy. and share share share and listen listen listen.
if that makes me less of a men, then fuck masculinity.
i don't know, maybe i'm just not cut out for the relationship game. the politics or motions that supercede love and devotion.
i feel very misunderstood on the topic. or maybe just for once i'm wrong which would make sense. i've heard it for so long- you have such a big heart but you just aren't boyfriend material.
i understand books.
i understand movies.
i understand music.
hell, i sometimes feel that i have a pretty decent understanding of the meaning of life.
but girls.
damn, girls... i just don't understand.
if you're looking for reasons to fight, then you have no real reason to get upset.
you have no right to get upset about something you asked for/planned for.
that's why it doesn't make sense to me to expect fights or arguments or whatever.
if that's what you want and expect and intend to happen, then it's just scripted.
if it happens and it's worth it, then let it play out as it's supposed to.
but i don't think there's any shame in trying to work through things.
makes a hell of a lot more sense then just getting pissed off to me.
but yeah, if it's worth fighting over, then i'll fight until my last breath for what i believe.
i just don't believe in fighting to keep things interesting.
my life and my love are interesting enough that i don't have to try to force it.
and if i had to kill for something i love, i would do it without a second thought in the blink of an eye.
and if it really matters, then i'll have my say and deal with the consequences.
but i will try to avoid violence in the name of love at all costs.
it just feels contrived to talk about anything like this ahead of time.
and maybe sometimes i'd just rather be hurt myself than have to see a girl i love cry.
maybe sometimes i like to have my feelings hurt.
maybe this makes me a masochist (i don't think so) or a fake (i don't think so), but i don't care.
if i can maintain my pride and self-respect without having to fight, then i'm not worried about it.
but if i have to pick fights over things that are unimportant just for the sake of keeping the party lively, well fuck that i'm going home.
i think most girls want a nice guy. a guy that can be sweet when its needed but can cowboy the fuck up when he needs to or when she needs him to.
ha ha ha.
what the fuck does that guy know about making girls happy?
what the fuck does any guy know about making girls happy?
there is no such thing as most girls.
no two flowers are the same, no two stars are the same, no two snowflakes are the same, no two birds are the same.
why is it that guys feel like they can reduce a female's desire to a checklist of bullshit character traits and meaningless cookie cutter actions?
a notch on my belt is how you shall exist/
a notch on my bed post is how you shall exist.
and no more no less for the common good.
that's you- american womanhood.
i don't know i don't know i don't know.
i know that i'm really upset right now thinking that good intentions and an open heart just won't cut it.
i guess this is the real world.
where we declare war in the name of peace and break hearts in the name of love and reduce beauty into checklist and literary criticism. music is for sale, art lives in museums, and wearing our hearts on our sleeve just isn't in style this season.
the fight scene.
down on both knees/
screaming fuck you
and please please please.
complete me/defeat me/beat me until i understand just how much you love me so.
i will never make you do this to me again.
it's been a long day.
i'm surpised my body hasn't given up on me.
it's a mystery how i keep my head
over water and out of bed
and it's a wonder how i keep my feet
on the ground and walking under me.
such a damn good song, it's a shame it didn't make the album.
brandon.
ps- and if it's what i believe in my heart is the right thing to do, i will bite my fucking tongue until it bleeds. and that is something i believe is worth fighting for. and if that makes me a pushover, then you can just knock me the fuck down.
mine are just so tired.
and i have sand in my hair and i know that when i calm down enough to sleep, i'll wake up in the morning with sand in my bed.
but i don't mind.
what i do mind is knowing that right now she's sleeping alone and i'm going to be sleeping alone and when i wake up in the morning, we aren't going to be all tangled up in each other.
remember that time we went to that beach in tn and watched amelie that night? and how we yelled and shouted at each other and no one was around to hear us besides the trees that echoed our voices, wanting desperately to be alive like us?
and i would like to go on record as saying that one of my life goals is to always be a good lover. i mean, if you can't love well, then what they fuck are you doing with your life? i want to understand her and be able to know just what to say or do without her having to tell me. i want to inspire and comfort and satisfy. and share share share and listen listen listen.
if that makes me less of a men, then fuck masculinity.
i don't know, maybe i'm just not cut out for the relationship game. the politics or motions that supercede love and devotion.
i feel very misunderstood on the topic. or maybe just for once i'm wrong which would make sense. i've heard it for so long- you have such a big heart but you just aren't boyfriend material.
i understand books.
i understand movies.
i understand music.
hell, i sometimes feel that i have a pretty decent understanding of the meaning of life.
but girls.
damn, girls... i just don't understand.
if you're looking for reasons to fight, then you have no real reason to get upset.
you have no right to get upset about something you asked for/planned for.
that's why it doesn't make sense to me to expect fights or arguments or whatever.
if that's what you want and expect and intend to happen, then it's just scripted.
if it happens and it's worth it, then let it play out as it's supposed to.
but i don't think there's any shame in trying to work through things.
makes a hell of a lot more sense then just getting pissed off to me.
but yeah, if it's worth fighting over, then i'll fight until my last breath for what i believe.
i just don't believe in fighting to keep things interesting.
my life and my love are interesting enough that i don't have to try to force it.
and if i had to kill for something i love, i would do it without a second thought in the blink of an eye.
and if it really matters, then i'll have my say and deal with the consequences.
but i will try to avoid violence in the name of love at all costs.
it just feels contrived to talk about anything like this ahead of time.
and maybe sometimes i'd just rather be hurt myself than have to see a girl i love cry.
maybe sometimes i like to have my feelings hurt.
maybe this makes me a masochist (i don't think so) or a fake (i don't think so), but i don't care.
if i can maintain my pride and self-respect without having to fight, then i'm not worried about it.
but if i have to pick fights over things that are unimportant just for the sake of keeping the party lively, well fuck that i'm going home.
i think most girls want a nice guy. a guy that can be sweet when its needed but can cowboy the fuck up when he needs to or when she needs him to.
ha ha ha.
what the fuck does that guy know about making girls happy?
what the fuck does any guy know about making girls happy?
there is no such thing as most girls.
no two flowers are the same, no two stars are the same, no two snowflakes are the same, no two birds are the same.
why is it that guys feel like they can reduce a female's desire to a checklist of bullshit character traits and meaningless cookie cutter actions?
a notch on my belt is how you shall exist/
a notch on my bed post is how you shall exist.
and no more no less for the common good.
that's you- american womanhood.
i don't know i don't know i don't know.
i know that i'm really upset right now thinking that good intentions and an open heart just won't cut it.
i guess this is the real world.
where we declare war in the name of peace and break hearts in the name of love and reduce beauty into checklist and literary criticism. music is for sale, art lives in museums, and wearing our hearts on our sleeve just isn't in style this season.
the fight scene.
down on both knees/
screaming fuck you
and please please please.
complete me/defeat me/beat me until i understand just how much you love me so.
i will never make you do this to me again.
it's been a long day.
i'm surpised my body hasn't given up on me.
it's a mystery how i keep my head
over water and out of bed
and it's a wonder how i keep my feet
on the ground and walking under me.
such a damn good song, it's a shame it didn't make the album.
brandon.
ps- and if it's what i believe in my heart is the right thing to do, i will bite my fucking tongue until it bleeds. and that is something i believe is worth fighting for. and if that makes me a pushover, then you can just knock me the fuck down.