uggghhhh
feeling really....depressed i guess is the word....not sure why. maybe it's the 95 commercials for wedding shit and engagement rings i saw today. i really don't know why this has hit me so hard lately. the more i think about not being engaged, the more depressed i get. i shouldn't be. j and i have a great relationship and it's pretty much like we're already married. i just feel like i'm at this awkward point in my life, i want so badly to move out with him and to get married and start our adult lives. but i feel almost like he's stalling for some reason. maybe it's my imagination. maybe i've pushed too hard. but i feel like such a child living at home with my parents. no plans to get married yet. no plans to move out yet. no career. i feel like i'm stuck. this is getting old...
in other news...i busted out the shiny new toy yesterday. didn't get to actually use it though. learned how to use my shiny new sewing machine. watched the awkward instructional video. the actual machine is so badass. i LOVE it. it has an automatic needle threader. 80 stitches. monograming. so many bells and whistles that my mom's 1970's sewing machine couldn't even dream of having. i cut the pattern for an apron that i owe steph for xmas. i drew her a picture of it and promised it was on it's way. lol. now i just need to get the pieces all put together. it's going to be adorable. it's a pretty white/pink swirly pattern and pink fabric with tiny white polka dots for the accent color. i have so much material i don't know what to do with it all. guess it's a good way to fill up all this free time i have. i think everyone will be receiving aprons or something sewn this year as gifts...for bdays and xmas and whatnot. maybe i should open up an etsy shop once i get enough made...make some money, ha.
ugh. going to bed. still depressed. but thinking about sewing did help. maybe i'm upset because i feel like i have nothing to look forward to and no assignments/goals right now....going to have to fix this...
in other news...i busted out the shiny new toy yesterday. didn't get to actually use it though. learned how to use my shiny new sewing machine. watched the awkward instructional video. the actual machine is so badass. i LOVE it. it has an automatic needle threader. 80 stitches. monograming. so many bells and whistles that my mom's 1970's sewing machine couldn't even dream of having. i cut the pattern for an apron that i owe steph for xmas. i drew her a picture of it and promised it was on it's way. lol. now i just need to get the pieces all put together. it's going to be adorable. it's a pretty white/pink swirly pattern and pink fabric with tiny white polka dots for the accent color. i have so much material i don't know what to do with it all. guess it's a good way to fill up all this free time i have. i think everyone will be receiving aprons or something sewn this year as gifts...for bdays and xmas and whatnot. maybe i should open up an etsy shop once i get enough made...make some money, ha.
ugh. going to bed. still depressed. but thinking about sewing did help. maybe i'm upset because i feel like i have nothing to look forward to and no assignments/goals right now....going to have to fix this...