I Didn't Hear You Leave (IDHYL) : Chapter three
Title : I dIdn’t Hear You Leave
Pairing: Sergio Ramos/ Fernando Torres Implied Fernando Torres/ Juan Mata Implied Sergio Ramos/Jesus Navas
Fandom: RPF
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction; Real person slash, angst, violence
Summary: The situation between Sergio and Fernando gets even more complicated, those closer to them are in cross fire
Notes: this continues exactly where the previous chapter ends. also on A03
***I Can't Breathe******
It was finally time to head back to their hotel room as the Miami Heat game ended. They spent a few minutes talking to the basket ballers and saying hi to fans that recognised them. When their extra hour was over they all got a text telling them it was time for the buses to leave, that everyone should start heading back because a lot of the guys had disappeared into the streets of Miami.
Fernando is instantly frustrated when he discovered that the bus he came with is full and Juan couldn't save him a seat. So he had to ride on the other bus. Sergio's bus. A couple of the other guys had been drinking and totally forgotten about the rules and the arrangements that were given so Fernando was displaced for the night.
*
"Hey Fernando"
He hears Iker voice call out to him as he poked his head into the bus. Iker was at the very last row in the bus.
Fernando smiles lazily at Iker returning the half smile and head nod Iker used to wave him over.
He squeezed himself through the tight walkway and after so many excuse me's and sorry's because some people just cant put their feet in front of them, he finally got to the back of the bus. He relaxed comfortably by Iker closing his eyes as he rests his head to avoid a conversation and also to relax his mind from the crazy day he’s had.
A couple of minutes passed and the bus is still not moving, meanwhile the other bus had left.
"Who are we waiting for?" Iker called out to the guys in front a bit worried
.
"Sergio and Navas, I think they got lost somewhere" someone echoed from 7 rows away
"Sure they would" Fernando muttered under his breath low enough for Iker not to catch it.
"Did anyone try calling them on the phone to know whether they caught a ride on the other bus?"
Iker asked again. He is a bit worried, not only because he captains this group but because Sergio is his close buddy and it’s unlike him to do something like this.
"Just spoke to Navas they are around the corner" the row 7 guy speaks again
*
Few minutes later Sergio is walking into the bus supported by Navas. He is leaning heavily on Navas like he's a source of life but Sergio looks like he's hurt.
Fernando almost jumped up to go and hold Sergio and asked what's wrong out of reflex but stopped shot when Sergio smiles sheepishly and slurs " Mi Sol” as he leans his face into Navas and nuzzles his neck. Navas tried to pull him off and he sucks on his ear lobe.
"That's gross dude, stop it or I'll dump your ass here" Navas bites out smiling.
"Is he alright?" row seven guy asked
"Yeah, just had too many to drink. I don't even know how much he had before I found him”
Navas answered settling himself and Sergio comfortably by the window. Sergio rolls into him instantaneously, his body half on top of Navas’ speaking sexy words of Spanish.
“mi resplandeciente de la mañana el sol” Sergio says trying to kiss Navas but he has a good hold on Sergio keeping him at good distance.
"Get a room"
The guy sat beside them mocks a drunken Sergio as everyone roared with laughter, while Fernando fights the urge to grab Sergio and kick him in the nut.
How dare he disrespect him and flaunt in his face. He's the only one Sergio calls that name, Sergio always calls him his bright and morning sun, but good to know he's been replaced and he was right all along.
"Typical" is all he manages to breath out as his eyes burned and he struggled to control himself. He managed to clean a little tear before anyone could see but not before Iker saw everything as it happened.
*
Immediately the bus came to a halt, Fernando dint wait for any word to be said, he dint even wait for Iker to finish his question, or for the guys in front to clear out. He just bolted out of the bus.
As he reached the entrance of the hotel, he found Juan pacing back and forth by the glass doors. Juan only paces when he's worried sick, Fernando instantly feels warmth in his stomach that Juan would wait for him down here and not go up to their room to wait for him and every guard went down as he approached his best mate sobbing.
As it says, people only show weakness in the presence of trust. He let's his guard down, the front he's been pulling in the bus to control himself just wiped off as he saw Juan, Knowing he is there for him.
When Juan saw Fernando's face, he opened his arms in a hug and holds Fernando still for a few minutes.
"Am sorry I couldn't save your sit, some of the guys on the other bus came to ours and before I could say anything or get out the bus was full"
Fernando doesn't speak; he nods into Juan's shoulder holding on tight.
Juan feels bad that he upset Fernando by letting him go on the other bus alone and he knows Sergio would be there and he probably can't handle the situation alone. But when he see's Sergio and Navas come out of the bus and Sergio all over Navas clinging to him ever so dearly, as they looked like drunken lovers stumbling out of a night club he knew there was more to the story. There was more to Fernando being the way he is.
"Come on... Let's go up" Juan forced Fernando to move as the other guys get closer. They've done enough damage already.
*
Once they are in the room, Fernando takes off his gear slipping on a pair of sleeping pants that are too short for his tall form he found on Juan’s side of the room and goes straight to Juan’s bed without saying a word. He lay on his side quiet, Juan joins him wrapping his arm around the strikers waist, pulling him close to soothe him.
They stayed like that for almost 30 mins without a word. Then Fernando broke the silence;
"He was all over him during the Game. He could hardly pay attention and he loves basketball... he paid no attention whatsoever I could tell he was distracted from the start... Did...did you see the way he held him close?"
Juan knows, he saw. He was the one that showed him the last supposed intimate situation between Sergio and Navas before Fernando stormed out to let out his pain in the bathroom because he couldn't watch them any more, now Juan feels like its his fault maybe he shouldn't have showed him after all.
"And the way he was whispering to him? Like its all he wants to do for the rest of his life "FUCK!"
Fernando sounds more hurt than he has since after PLUG.
He can't erase the memory of seeing Sergio plastered to Navas while the game was on. They've been together since forever Fernando knows when Sergio has lost all concentration and it was obvious to everyone that Sergio’s concentration was on Navas through out the game. Or so he thought.
"Its okay, Fernando... Maybe you shoul-"
"They even went to a bar together and Sergio got drunk" he cuts Juan off
"Sergio only gets that drunk when he's very excited or very upset..." Fernando let the tears roll.
Well he looked happy to me so yeah i say he is pretty excited..." He let out a pained laughter
"He couldn't stop kissing his new love on the bus and Navas was pretending like he dint like it. That little shit"
"What if nothing happened" Juan tried to lighten the mood and sway Fernando’s thoughts but Fernando instantly extricated himself from Juan's grip and shifted away from him.
"How can you say that? Why are you trying to make excuses for Sergio? Were you not there that night at plug? You saw what happened dint you? And they have history, a very twisted one that asshole would milk with any chance." Fernando says slamming Navas
Juan feels weak, he was there and he saw what happened. He knows it would be a difficult situation for anyone to try and lie their way out of.
"For you to be in a place you shouldn't be, in a country you said you couldn't be in and in that implicating situation"
Juan thinks to himself, but he doesn't know why he feels some things don't add up or maybe it’s just that part of him that doesn't want it to be real so that Fernando can be happy again.
"You know how Sergio gets when he's drunk!" Fernando continues
It is something that Fernando and Sergio have been struggling with and have been working on. Sergio has what some people call a light brain. He can’t handle his liquor. When Sergio is drunk he tend to misbehave and do things he necessarily wouldn't do, like be violent, say the wrong things and be overly affectionate.
It had been a scare and almost ended their relationship when they started dating initially, because Sergio’s behaviour when he got drunk is not something Fernando was comfortable with. Although the sex was better Sergio was not really himself.
But after a while with Fernando’s help he knew what to drink and what to stay away from and also Fernando made him promise to not have more than a glass of wine or half a pint of beer because Sergio wont give up drinking all together and they’ve been good ever since he got under control.
"He gets super horny and weirdly aggressive, almost uncontrollable when he is fucked up and they are rooming together so yeah"
Fernando holds his head in his hand biting his lip to hold back tears, imagining the worst possible outcome.
He always thought they were doing it ever since started thinking they were together but having it thrown at his face and given the impression that it might happen in the same hotel as he is tonight is much more hurtful to him. He can’t stop imagining how when they get to the room and Sergio would fuck Navas senseless.
"He fucking called him "Mi Sol" Fernando thinks aloud as he sobs
"Don't think about that, Sergio wouldn't”
Juan knows exactly where Fernando’s mind is going so he has to try to lighten the situation.
“ Even if he was so wasted that he wanted to, Navas is sober enough to not make the same mistake twice and also acknowledge that their next door neighbour is Pepe and he'll get murdered if they disturb him"
"Ugh!" Fernando sighs remembering his episode from training their first week
"About Pepe, did you tell him anything about plug?"
"No! Did anything happen?" Juan looks surprised
"Yeah, he thinks he has an idea about plug and I don't know what he was talking about but he seemed to have an idea something went down"
"I have no Idea, am sure its nothing. I dint say anything to anyone. Errm, do you want anything before bed?" Juan asks him to end the conversation because the more Fernando talks about it the more he remembers.
"No. I just want to sleep here tonight" Fernando motions to Juan's bed
"Okay that’s fine.... "
As he lay down and Juan gets ready to take a shower, Fernando is grateful he has someone like Juan in his life.
"Thank you for being here for me Juan" Fernando says in a whisper as he tries not to think of the turmoil of events that had been thrown at his face and what might be happening in Sergio’s room.
***
In the other part of the hotel the night is still very young.
When they got to the room after so many times of tripping because he couldn't support Sergio on his own, Navas tried to lay Sergio on his bed so he can sleep off the alcohol but Sergio wasn't having it. He had managed to stash alcohol under his bed and quickly reached for it, opened it and starts taking a swing of the "jack Daniels" pulling Navas into him.
“Party with me will you” He orders
"Are you still drinking...? How did you get that bottle in here...? What is your problem? and stop trying to stick your tongue down my throat" Navas addresses Sergio irritated
Sergio ignores all of that but he picks on the last statement
"Like you don't want me to; I see the way you look at me, you’ve always wanted me and you still do. I know it, you know it and the entire team knows it"
Sergio slurs moving closer to Navas who is keeping a good distance from him because its happened one too many times with no good coming out of it.
"You have a habit of sticking your tongue down my throat when you are intoxicated, it’s insulting. Get away from me Sergio, you're drunk" Navas say's a bit rattled, by the way Sergio is acting.
"And you like it that i'm drunk so I can finally fuck you again after all these years, isin't that what you want? what you've always wanted?...the last time I only kissed you but I know you wanted more you were hoping I would go as far as I did before"
Sergio spit the words in Navas’ face, but he kept moving backwards avoiding eye contact with Sergio because he is hurt and deep down it’s exactly what he desires but he is determined to be a better person. No matter what happens with Sergio he knows he can never have Sergio and Sergio would never look at him or anyone the way he looks at Fernando, he made that clear the first time.
"You don't even want me and Fernando to get back together do you?"
Sergio questioned looking stupidly serious with his ridiculous question.
"Now you're just feeling sorry for yourself and I blame that bottle in your hand because I know you don't mean it"
Navas waves it off doing the bro thing, blame it on the alcohol. But Sergio is determined to be a dick tonight.
"Like you dint mean it the first night you jumped into my bed?"
"Stop It" Nevas barks at him furrowed brow
"Begging me to fuck you? Or let you touch my dick? That you don't mind being my dirty little secret as long as we get to be together" Sergio kept talking.
"That was a long time ago Sergio, things have changed, even Fernando forgave me" he says quietly avoiding the defenders gaze
"Yeah right long time ago my dick..., and I see the way you look at me when am shirtless you still want me" Sergio grabs hold of Navas, encircling him by the waist
"I was new on the team and you agreed to let that go and never bring it up again"
Navas feels hurt that Sergio would dig up the dark moments of their friendship just because his relationship is in tatters and he is having the worst experience he wants everyone to feel like him. Like SHIT
Some people do it to feel good about them selves. When their life is shit and things are awful they condemn other people and make them feel bad to feel better. And it hurts that a trusted friend would bash him with his secrets.
"Even if I wanted to be with you ever again, not like this..." Navas spits out angry. Pushing Sergio away from him because he feels like everyone is just nice to Sergio and never calls him out on his bullshit or tell him the truth.
"Do you see how fucked up you are? You've been so messed up for months and you know what? Its not because of me or the pressure to perform. NO! It’s because of FERNANDO and his new boy toy."
Navas says it because he knows it would hit Sergio hard
"Shut up!" Sergio glared at him. Navas giving the impression that Fernando was with someone else shocked him like someone hit him with a hammer and branded his chest with a hurt iron.
"You just don't want to hear it. Fernando got you so messed up you're acting out like a child you can't even man up and talk to him because you're so heart broken you're throwing low blows at me. That’s Weak man"
Upset by his words; Sergio launched towards Navas, grabbed him by the neck with his right hand still holding the bottle of JD in the left hand, he forced Navas against the door with so much force.
“FUCKING SHUT UP” Sergio screamed in Navas's face, he lost his balance be cause he was intoxicated and his grip falters causing the bottle of alcohol to find the floor and shaattered around Navas.
Navas made a pained sound of anguish like a squirrel being tortured when his head made contact with the bathroom door in their shared room. He falls to the ground with a huge thump making sounds of pain as he mistakenly set his hand upon a huge chunk of glass. Sergio snaps out of it instantaneously when he see’s a stain of crimson red and realised what he’d done.
*
Fuck what am I doing? Sergio thought to himself looking at Navas as he held the part of his head that made impact with the door not realizing he was bleeding
"Am sorry... I'm so sorry... Fuck! what is wrong with me?" he asked himself eyes fixed on Navas’ arm.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" Navas screams seeing the blood stream down his arm because Sergio was upsetting him before, now he is officially scared.
"I don't know, I don't know...I don't fucking know... It’s HIM. I don't want to admit it but its all driving me crazy."
Sergio moved away from the mess he created and finds a spot against the wall from where he watched Navas, to have a better look at what he just did.
Navas stands up and starts to clean his arm to make sure it wasn't deep and to his delight it wasn't deep at all and would be nothing in a few days, but that does not excuse what Sergio just did to him.
Sergio doesn't move, he stays in the corner, hating himself for hurting Navas because he told him the truth and the things he said to him were so hurtful. Navas who’s been there for him, Sergio feels bad that he would hurt Navas or anyone to feel better. He's becoming that person.
*
After a while, the same Navas he was about to nail to the wall few minutes ago was the same person holding him close while he cried into his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry I said those things...and that”
Sergio gestured toward his arm where Navas had now put a plaster to cover the wound and his neck where he held him whilst he attacked.
“I Can't believe I hurt you. Please forgive me. Am sorry" Sergio says genuinely because he has surprised himself, all the while Fernando had been talking about his drinking and how he needs to stop altogether he never questioned himself till now.
"Its okay, just tell me! Did something happen? Because your anger issues flipped RED HOT...am not Fernando. I can’t deal with your mess the way he can” Navas speaks honest because he just can’t tame the beast even though he wants to fuck him.
Sergio sniffs as he folds his arms around his knees rocking forward and backwards like a child in an attempt to calm down.
"I saw them...I heard Nando and Juan in the Toilet. I was going to confront him as you told me to...you know, to understand where we are in our relationship, because I don't know if he wants to break up or if we are already broken up because he's already sort of dating. But I haven't let myself actually believe that even if I've been saying it” Sergio took a deep breath
“But when I got there, they were in the stall kissing and Juan was telling Fernando how he'll never hurt him. Like he's already replaced me; saying things that I say. And I was listening then I heard them kiss so I just you know" he paused. “it was like Plug all over again”
He sniffed and wiped tears of his face with the back of his palm.
"I found a bar and then I started drinking, I got drunk. So fucking messed up and couldn't find my way. Then you came and found me"
Sergio paused again taking a deep breathe
"Am sorry Navas, I dint mean to hurt you, Nando is just driving me crazy and I don't know what to do"
"its okay, I’ll live. Just don't do that again... I don't think I would be able to be friends with you if you make it a habit of laying your frustration on me like i don't matter and am just a stress relief”
Navas says with a voice that tells the world that he is hurt, but he is a nice guy and truly cares for his friend.
“and I still think you should talk to him Sergio, you haven't spoken a word to each other. Even if he's moved on like you say... you haven't Sergio. You're still madly in love with him and its tearing you apart. Just talk to him” Navas says, encouraging his best mate to face his fears.
"I know. I almost did. Whenever I want to talk to him I see them being close and happy and I feel discouraged because that's meant to be us. I miss him so much"
Sergio says looking at his friend with all sincerity.
"Well you should keep trying until you get him alone. If you can't maybe we should seek for other options like talking to Juan for a change"
Sergio nods as his eyes begin to drop. The alcohol is finally catching up on him.
"Go to sleep and take some aspirin before or you'll have the battle of the bulge in your head in the morning...”
Sergio does as he is told. As he crawls into his bed he tries to think of happy thought that would help him sleep and all that comes to mind is Fernando’s smile.