New Moon Chapters 16 and 17: DRAMATIC!!!!!111
Chapter 16
Bella is saved by Jacob, who's mad that she tried to kill herself. Another chick named Leah's dad had a heart attack, and will probably die for great angst.
Bella likens her life to Romeo and Juliet, because this is the worst book ever. Only it's an entirely different story, just with the same characters. But wait, those characters are completely different. Bella, of course, is Juliet, and Edward is Romeo. I didn't like either of them, so that's fine with me.
I just want to know who gets to be Mercutio.
MOMENT OF TRUTH: Bella decides that being retarded for Edward is dumb, and that being a normal adult and moving on is a good idea. My god... WHAT BOOK IS THIS? THIS ISN'T THE SAME BOOK.
Wait, nevermind. She decides it's a good idea, but then goes on and on about how she loves Jacob like, a fraction of how she loves Edward, and how she doesn't really love him ALL THAT much, but maybe she should go out with him anyway, because Edward is gone and bawwww. Fuck this. I like Jacob, and the main character is a right cunt to him.
Then Jacob smells a vampire, and Bella's like OMG IT'S CARLISLE TAKE ME BACK PLZZZZ and Jacob, being cool, is like FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BITCH and leaves her there.
Chapter 17
Bella goes inside her house to find Alice waiting for her. Alice KNEW Bella was going to be suicidal, like all pathetic shits of girls are over their boyfriends LOLLOLOLOLOLLLLLOLLIPOP.
Anyway, Alice says werewolves are extremely dangerous and that they smell like poopoo.
Alice says that Edward doesn't live with them, because he's off killing hookers and being beaten up by Anne Rice vampires in New Orleans.
Charlie tells Alice that his daughter isn't normal in her handling of the breakup with Edward, which is an understatement. I think the author is trying to point out that they're SO MUCH MORE than a regular couple, but it just makes her look like a big, creepy weirdo.
And Alice can't see werewolves.
Bella is saved by Jacob, who's mad that she tried to kill herself. Another chick named Leah's dad had a heart attack, and will probably die for great angst.
Bella likens her life to Romeo and Juliet, because this is the worst book ever. Only it's an entirely different story, just with the same characters. But wait, those characters are completely different. Bella, of course, is Juliet, and Edward is Romeo. I didn't like either of them, so that's fine with me.
I just want to know who gets to be Mercutio.
MOMENT OF TRUTH: Bella decides that being retarded for Edward is dumb, and that being a normal adult and moving on is a good idea. My god... WHAT BOOK IS THIS? THIS ISN'T THE SAME BOOK.
Wait, nevermind. She decides it's a good idea, but then goes on and on about how she loves Jacob like, a fraction of how she loves Edward, and how she doesn't really love him ALL THAT much, but maybe she should go out with him anyway, because Edward is gone and bawwww. Fuck this. I like Jacob, and the main character is a right cunt to him.
Then Jacob smells a vampire, and Bella's like OMG IT'S CARLISLE TAKE ME BACK PLZZZZ and Jacob, being cool, is like FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BITCH and leaves her there.
Chapter 17
Bella goes inside her house to find Alice waiting for her. Alice KNEW Bella was going to be suicidal, like all pathetic shits of girls are over their boyfriends LOLLOLOLOLOLLLLLOLLIPOP.
Anyway, Alice says werewolves are extremely dangerous and that they smell like poopoo.
Alice says that Edward doesn't live with them, because he's off killing hookers and being beaten up by Anne Rice vampires in New Orleans.
Charlie tells Alice that his daughter isn't normal in her handling of the breakup with Edward, which is an understatement. I think the author is trying to point out that they're SO MUCH MORE than a regular couple, but it just makes her look like a big, creepy weirdo.
And Alice can't see werewolves.