Words Brought Nothing But Us Closer Together.2
[Part 1]
Changmin goes out the next day.
His mother had taken him to the places she and his father love to go whenever they have some free time. Changmin, despite being embarrassed that he’s out with his mother, can’t deny that he’s having fun.
He bought tons of new clothes, a new laptop and a pair of headphones (which he begged his mother that he absolutely must have them for his gaming, as they have a microphone installed and it’s convenient as fuck) and some new envelopes with their matching cards.
His mother doesn’t ask, though she eyes him curiously when he wordlessly hands her the stack of envelopes.
They go home after a light dinner, Changmin telling his mother any not-too problems that he knows can only be solved by familial advice. Changmin helps his mother unpacks the groceries before he bolts straight to the guestroom, dumping his new clothes on the foot of his bed and immediately ripping open the package of envelopes.
After a quick mental debate, Changmin decides to choose a sea green envelope. He opens the card and flattens it, rolling his pen between his fingers as he tries to fabricate a response - one that doesn’t seem as if he’s affected too much by Yunho’s letter. He glances back at the letter, reads through it quickly and begins to write.
Brainless Child
Yes, yes, I replied. No need to get all excited. It was going to happen sooner or later anyway. And yes, it worked. NOT A WORD ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE. Sorry I didn’t reply so soon, but I bought colored envelopes and cards - cards not paper like yours. At least mine is more sophisticated.
You’re right. I didn’t want to reply because of your loneliness, but mine too. Fuck, hyung, it’s not the same without you :'( And of course I love you. You love me too, right? ;)
I just realized that I don’t eat much here. I wonder why. Don’t get me wrong, my mother’s cooking is still fantastic as ever, but I don’t really have the motivation to do anything. Not even eat. (Yes, I did my homework, mom -_-) I miss your pasta dishes :) I still don’t approve of your targeting me as the focus of your affection. Kiss a mirror or something.
Well, now it’s night time. The city buildings are blocking all view to the country or the beach. I can’t see anything, not even the stars. I bet it’s starry there, right? Millions of stars dotting the stretch of navy blue, presenting hope to the hopeless. I don’t mind not seeing the stars though - your eyes twinkling in excitement is just enough for me.
Expectedly, it’s busy here. But the nightlife here is just as energetic as Seoul’s. Remember the times you would drag me to go clubbing with you? We had so much fun there. Makes me wish I could turn back time before we (somewhat) separated in college.
And no. Find yourself a real girlfriend.
Still miss you too, hyung♥ =]
- Changmin the Awesome
PS: Don’t flirt with me -_-
Chuckling a bit at the outcome of his letter, Changmin seals the envelope and scribbles out Yunho’s address, passing it to his mother who comes inside the room and asking if he wants a snack.
*
Sending and waiting for Yunho’s letters suddenly become a daily occurrence. Changmin would sigh impatiently while drumming his fingers on the table every afternoon around five, the usual time for the mailman to deliver Yunho’s letters.
Changmin smiles through every one, writes back with playful heat and waits for the replies like a puppy longingly waiting for his owner.
Every day he counts the minutes where Yunho’s reply will arrive, girly or childish paper filled with Yunho’s cheesy descriptions of the surroundings, his unlimited love for ‘Bambi-sshi’ and his concerns for Changmin.
Upon realization of his newfound feelings, Changmin is both in shock and ecstasy: he had fallen in love with Yunho.
*
Changmin wonders if he should tell Yunho that he loves him via letter or in person. He’s not sure whether he should tell him at all. Is it worth risking their friendship?
Changmin sighs and reads all the letters Yunho sent to him so far. He’s gotten used to the smell of flowers in almost all the envelopes, smiling and laughing to himself at Yunho’s stupidity in the letters.
Judging by the way Yunho had written, he’s either teasingly flirting with Changmin or is in love with him as well. But that can’t be right, Changmin frowns. Yunho hyung seems just about as girl crazy as any normal hormonal boy teenager is.
But then again, he’s not sure normal hormonal boy teenagers call their stuffed toys their daughters and are extremely touchy to their best friends.
Changmin sighs and lies on the bed. He wonders what it’s like to have Yunho love him in return. Will it be nice like those happily ever afters? How about if Yunho reciprocates his love? Will their relationship be full of problems or will they be so sickeningly in love with each other even their parents get irritated?
He closes his eyes and ignores his mother when she calls out for him that he has a new letter from Yunho.
She doesn’t relent though, going further and banging his door incessantly until he slams it open with a murderous glare on his face. She isn’t fazed the slightest bit, shoving the envelope into his hands as she goes back to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner.
Slightly angry with her, Changmin slams the door shut and locks it, sitting heavily on the bed to rip open the - surprisingly - white envelope. A square piece of plain paper falls out, a short message on the middle of it.
Changmin
I know this is later than the usual times I send my letters and this is going to be off topic, but I want to ask you something. Call me?
- Yunho
Call him? Did something happen? Is he in trouble? In debt? Is it too big he can’t handle himself? Nonetheless, Changmin picks up his cellphone lying on the corner of the desk and dials Yunho’s number.
A few rings go by undisturbed. This is stupid, he thinks to himself. What if he’s already sleeping? He’s about to hang up when he hears the click at the end of the line.
“Hello?”
Changmin freezes.
“Changmin?”
Changmin clears his throat. “Hi, hyung.”
“Changmin …” Yunho repeats, voice carrying a lot of happy but also a hint of anxiety. Changmin picks it up immediately.
“Hyung,” he grips the edge of the table. “What’s wrong? Why did you ask me to call you?”
He hears Yunho swallowing. Moments of long silence, broken only by the sound of gentle breathing either end, and then, “Can you see the stars, Min?”
Changmin, thoroughly confused, goes to the window and frowns slightly when he sees nothing, light pollution getting onto his nerves once again. He sighs, “No, hyung, I can’t. What’s up?”
“There are plenty over here.” Yunho sounds so serene, so in peace that Changmin bites the urge to snap at him to hurry the hell up. “I wish you can see them.”
“Well, I’m looking at a picture of us,” Changmin takes out his wallet and flips it open, smiling to himself when he sees a photo of Yunho and Changmin when they were still in high school, laughing without a care in the world. “I can see your eyes. They shine brighter than the stars.”
“They’re not twinkling,” Yunho protests.
“It’s enough for me,” Changmin insists. His gaze trails down to Yunho’s awkward smile, his crooked teeth and his chubby cheeks. “And I don’t need a sunset to paint the sky in a myriad of colors - your smile lights up the world and makes my horizons beautiful.”
Yunho is blushing, Changmin can tell. He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. Where is he going with this? Why is he telling these things to Yunho?
“Changmin, what’s wrong?”
Changmin blinks. How on earth did the question get directed to him? “What’s wrong?” he repeats. “What do you mean?”
Yunho is silent for a few moments before he asks another question. “Changmin, do you mind if I stay by your side for the rest of your life?”
Don’t change the subject, Changmin thinks desperately. What is Yunho hinting at? “Of course not. You’re my hyung, my best friend.” My love, his mind finishes.
“Really? Even if you have to reject the girl who loves you with all her heart?”
Changmin frowns. “Yes, even if I have to reject her.”
“What do you think about long-distance relationships? Do you think they can work?”
Changmin is getting more and more curious and a lot more frustrated. “Of course they can.” Our friendship hasn’t died yet. “Now tell me what’s going on. Why did you tell me to call you?”
“…”
“Hyung?”
A sigh on the other line. Changmin’s getting worried. “This is wrong, Changmin-ah.”
“What is? Our friendship?” Somehow, Changmin has a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer.
“No, no, of course not.” Yunho sounds in a hurry to reassure Changmin. “Changmin, what if you find out you love someone? Your best friend of seventeen years? Would you welcome it wholly or would you try to find someone else to love because it’s wrong?”
Changmin swallows. Did Yunho catch on to him already? “I … I would tell the person how I feel and pray to God that they love me back.” Yunho makes a non-committal sound. Changmin takes that as a good sign. “Why?”
Yunho sighs. “No reason. Goodnight, Changmin-ah.”
“No, stop right there.” Changmin’s voice is stern. “You can’t just ask that and expect me to not accept any reason. Something’s up. Tell me.”
He hears another sigh, though this sounds much heavier than the previous one. “Goodnight, Changmin.”
“No!” Changmin is just one step to screaming. “No, don’t you dare fucking hang up! You don’t really care, do you? You think I can just be all fine and dandy when I know something’s bothering you and you just don’t want to tell me? I freaking miss you and your letters are the only things I look forward to because they are the only shred of contact with you I have left! And then you call and then I miss you even more and now you don’t want to talk to me? You’re so selfish! I freaking love you, goddammit!”
Changmin feels good. All the bottled-up emotions suddenly flew out and it feels like an awesome way to vent out his anger. He’s too focused on Yunho’s reply that he didn’t even notice he had slipped out his feelings.
Yunho is silent for a while. “… Feel better?”
Changmin nods. “Yeah.”
Yunho’s smile can practically be heard. “Goodnight, Changmin. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He hangs up and Changmin flops onto the bed, one arm over his eyes as he drifts off to a dreamless sleep.
*
The call is the first and last vocal contact from Yunho ever since the start of summer vacation. His letters are being received in great numbers, usually four to five in one go. Changmin is getting flustered as he reads through the letters. Now that Yunho knows of Changmin’s love for him, he has been penning down cheesy lines and quotes of love that are so ridiculous they have Changmin blushing.
Changmin doesn’t mind the attention, but does that mean Yunho loves him back? He wants to ask so badly, but then Yunho had sent him a small card the morning after the phone call with a simple sentence: DO NOT reply back to any of my letters.
What good does that do? Changmin grumbles under his breath as he stacks the letters into a red box topped with a ribbon, hugging the box close to his chest. He’s glad that they both return to Seoul in a week.
*
The following week, more and more letters come by, each bundled up with a piece of string. Now they’re coming in tens, probably because they have a week of separation left, and Changmin has to wonder where Yunho gets all the envelopes and (still) girly notebook paper and string. The beach must have a lot of resources.
Easily Changmin’s favorite letter is the one of Yunho describing the starry nights for him, listing Changmin’s cute habits as he gets reminded of them and how he wants nothing more than to sleep in his arms under the sky. He smiles every time he rereads it, though a question digging into the back of his mind always makes him frown.
So does that mean he loves me back?
And every time he squeezes the question to nothing and he closes his eyes, dreaming of Yunho’s sunny smile and his twinkling eyes.
*
The night before Changmin leaves to go back to Seoul, he makes himself a cup of hot chocolate, remembering the conversation he had with Yunho before he left.
Yunho grins widely and stands next to Changmin, leaning his head on his shoulder and staring out into the sky. “You’re my dongsaeng. Of course I’ll protect you.”
Changmin looks down at his mug and stares at the dark brown color, trying to picture spending some time without his best friend by his side. “It should be the other way around. You’re getting too old, hyung.”
Yunho doesn’t make any indication of moving. “By two whole years and twelve days.” He sighs suddenly, sounding remorseful. “I’m sorry I got into that accident,” he mumbles.
Changmin looks at him. “What for?”
Yunho doesn’t look at him, though he pouts. “Dance ended late so I rushed getting home. I wanted to spend the rest of the night celebrating your birthday but then I was blinded by my anxiety and didn’t see the car heading towards m-”
Changmin silences him by resting his head atop Yunho’s. He swirls his drink around gently and take another warming gulp, trying to find the brightest star and wish upon it. “You’re an idiot,” he says softly. “Forget my birthday. You still being alive is the greatest present ever.”
Yunho straightens his head. “But -”
“No, shut up and finish your hot chocolate.”
Changmin’s face burns and he bows his head in embarrassment. How dense was he? Just by reviewing his actions he can tell he already fell for him, especially the “lots of people can vouch for that” comment when Yunho jokes about his ass being nice and firm.
He sighs as he stares at the night sky. Even with the city sleeping, there still aren’t any stars. Changmin glances at the clock and curses when he notices that it’s already past four in the morning. His father is going to be up any moment soon to use the washroom -
His door opens. “Changmin?”
Changmin sighs. He puts his mug down and looks behind to see his father looking at him, both sleepily and in surprise. “Hey, dad.”
“Why are you up this time of night?” his father yawns into his fist.
Changmin feels bad for his father. He rarely sees him and the man looks like he’s going to drop dead any moment soon. “I couldn’t sleep. Miss Yunho hyung,” he grunts, rubbing his eyes.
His father is silent for a while longer. “Oh, speaking of Yunho …” He trails off and leaves the room for a moment, coming back with a bouquet of red roses and an envelope in his hand. “This came in just after you went to your room. The mailman was running late, so here you go.”
Changmin’s jaw drops and he goes over in astonishment. He takes both items, heart fluttering when he recognizes his name scrawled in Yunho’s handwriting at both the card hanging around the neck of the bouquet and at front of the envelope. “Thanks. Goodnight, dad.”
He barely hears his father leaving and closing the door, but he doesn’t really care. He leaves the bouquet standing on the desk and, with shaking hands, he makes a neat tear at the side of the gold envelope, a similarly colored card falling into his hand with silver ink written carefully on the card.
Shim Changmin
You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I’m so grateful our mothers made us friends after I hit you over the head with a rubber duck I found in the cot next to yours in the hospital. You probably wouldn’t remember - you were just born back then.
Changmin, what if you find out you love someone? Your best friend of seventeen years? Would you welcome it wholly or would you try to find someone else to love because it’s wrong?
You said that you would tell the person how you feel and pray to God that they love you back. But will you really? Because I’m sure that there’s no need for prayer.
I lied, you know. When I said there was no reason. But you, being your smart self, picked it up immediately and tried to force me. You began to rant that you missed me and you loved my letters because that’s the only way we can keep in touch. I called and you missed me even more and you called me selfish because I didn’t want to talk to you.
You’re wrong, Changmin-ah. So, so wrong.
Of course I want to talk to you. You said you loved me and I swear my world stopped. I was happy, I was ecstatic. I wanted to talk to you about my crush on you but you said you loved me first. How could I find my voice after that? I loved you ever since you left. It may sound cliché, but I know that the pining in my heart, that caused my sister to roll her eyes and call me a wuss, is more than missing you.
I love you, Changmin.
I’m so glad we’re meeting back in Seoul tomorrow, even though it’s night time for me. I hope you love the flowers, Changmin. I knew you’ve always been a closet romanticist.
Keep waiting for me.
- Jung Yunho
PS: As per usual, don’t reply back.
By the time he finished reading the letter, Changmin’s jaw is hanging open once again, heart thumping wildly and on the verge of bursting out of his chest.
Yunho loves him. Yunho loves him. Yunho reciprocates his love. Yunho loves him.
Him, the best friend since that day at the hospital (he still has to ask his mother about that for confirmation); him, the bodyguard since Yunho is easy to love and even easier to hurt; him, the one who always, always took care of Yunho.
Changmin laughs to himself, free from all the burden in the world. God, he was so dense, wasn’t he? He still can’t sleep, so he drinks his drink until there’s nothing left. It’s sweet, but he’s certain that it won’t be as sweet as Yunho’s lips.
*
At the airport, Changmin sighs to himself as he stares at the person going to collect their tickets. His flight’s leaving in ten minutes, and both his parents were unable to send him from work. People are staring at him, probably from the red box he has in one hand and the bouquet in the other.
I look so stupid, he grins to himself, eyes mismatched and teeth white. He hears some girls giggle and whisper about him, but he can care less. All he has in his mind is Yunho.
His smile drops and he sighs again. All he wants right now is to see Yunho. Hug him tight like never before and don’t let go. But Yunho’s coming back at around midnight, and Changmin’s reaching Seoul at around four in the afternoon. What can he do while he wait?
As the person announces that it’s time for boarding, Changmin thinks he should have another nap and dream of Yunho again.
He wakes up an hour later, the stewardess shaking his shoulder lightly and asking if he wants a pillow. Changmin declines her offer with a sleepy smile and asks for an iced tea instead. The stewardess returns with the drink and Changmin curls up into a ball as he sips his drink.
Yunho would’ve made it sweeter just by being beside him.
*
Wow … talk about a graveyard, Changmin thinks as he steps into their apartment. Their apartment has never looked or felt so lonely before. Changmin sighs for the nth time that morning and quickly makes his way to Yunho’s room. Placing the box on the bedside table and propping the bouquet against the wall, he strips down to his boxers and falls on the bed, breathing in the (thank God, Changmin thinks) still-lingering musky scent of Yunho.
Come home … he thinks miserably as he squeezes the pillow under his head. He plans to sleep as much as possible so that he’ll be fully awake when Yunho returns. He doesn’t get to the sleeping part, actually, not when he hears the front door being opened and closed.
Changmin freezes. Who can that be? Only he and Yunho have the keys to the apartment, and Yunho’s not coming back until more than six hours later. Did the landlord sell their apartment to somebody else while they were gone?
Changmin stays still, straining his ears hard to hear the person’s movements. All he can hear is the shuffling of slippers, the sound growing louder and Changmin knows the person’s heading for Yunho’s room.
The door opens and Changmin shoots up to a sitting position. He can’t make out who it is because of the lack of lighting, but he can see person staying still. Moments passed without a single sound, and Changmin opens his mouth -
“Changmin?”
Changmin closes his mouth promptly. He recognizes that voice. “Yunho hyung?” He reaches over and turns on the lamp on Yunho’s bedside table, feeling relief wash all over him when he confirms that yes, it is Yunho.
“Oh my God, Changmin!” Yunho is, for lack of a better word, ecstatic. He drops his bag and rushes forward, bouncing on the bed and moving to engulf Changmin into a tight hug.
Changmin pushes his arms aside and grabs his face, pressing their lips together. Yunho makes a muffled moan of surprise but Changmin doesn’t care. He loves Yunho and Yunho loves him back and that’s all that matters.
Yunho groans into Changmin’s mouth when the latter flips them over and lays Yunho on the bed. His arms snake around Changmin’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer and trying to pour all his love and I missed you so much into the kiss.
Changmin growls and he literally feels a shiver run down Yunho’s spine. He presses small but lingering kisses from his jawline to his neck, where he pants a needy “I fucking missed you so much, dammit” and spills hot breath all over Yunho’s collarbone.
Yunho whines and curls his fingers into Changmin’s hair, grip tightening painfully when Changmin flicks his tongue over his collarbone.
“How was … ohhh … B-Busan?” Yunho whimpers, sound growing louder when Changmin presses his hand against his erection through the soft fabric of his sweatpants.
“Not the same,” Changmin presses him harder. “You weren’t there. Wanted you. Missed you.”
Yunho gets filled with both giddiness and pleasure. Changmin’s romantic side is showing out, and it’s making his head spin.
He pulls Changmin back up and presses their lips together hard. “I missed you so much, Min,” he pants. “You have no idea how lonely I felt without you. I missed hugging you to death when we sleep. I missed being picked up every day. I missed being scolded when I make a mess. I missed you, Changmin.”
Changmin stops completely and feels the same emotions he felt when he realized he fell in love with Yunho choking him. He hugs Yunho tight and a couple of tears squeezes from his eyes. “I missed you too, hyung,” he whispers, body trembling. His heart explodes when he feels Yunho’s arms slide up his back and hold him tight.
“Hyung, I know you know how I feel, and I’m sorry I never said it at all,” Changmin sobs. “I love you, hyung. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much I can’t even describe it in words, hyung. I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”
Silence permeates the air and Changmin is more than grateful and falls a little bit more in love when Yunho peppers his face with kisses, laughing at him and saying that there isn’t any reason for him to apologize.
Clothes are slowly shed, and soon their pants and moans are the only sounds they can hear. Yunho squirms as Changmin slips two lubed fingers inside his entrance, circling lightly and stretching him as far and painlessly as he could.
“Do you want this?” he whispers huskily into Yunho’s ear.
Yunho holds him tightly and nods feverishly tensing when the fingers go in deeper. Pleasure manages to override the pain though, and he finds himself groaning out Changmin’s name as he rocks back for more.
Changmin coats his dick with lube, hooking Yunho’s legs over his shoulders. He murmurs sweet, nonsensical words into his ear as he uses his free hand to ease himself inside.
Yunho squirms almost immediately, struggling to get away from the indescribable pain. He whimpers and Changmin tightens his grip around him. “I’m sorry, I love you,” he murmurs, hoping with all his heart that he isn’t hurting Yunho too badly.
When Yunho finally stills, Changmin draws out and pushes back in slowly. Yunho sobs and his fingernails claw down Changmin’s back. Changmin winces from the pain, but he knows it’s nothing compared to the pain Yunho’s feeling now.
The thrusts begin to pick up speed, creating a rhythm that has Yunho arching up with every thrust. “Missed - you - so - much,” he grunts with every thrust.
Yunho’s back arches even more when the tip of Changmin’s cock brutally stabs his prostate. He clings on for dear life, pushing back to meet Changmin halfway. Changmin gropes downwards and finds Yunho’s leaking member, stroking it in time with his thrust.
Changmin can feel the blood rushing in his ears, his arousal spiking as Yunho cries out beneath him, moaning his pleasure for him. Sweat drips from his body, but the heat from Yunho is what is keeping him going, and, before long, the winding coil in his abdomen tightens.
He pulls out a final time, aiming for the spot before he thrusts in as hard as he can, Yunho’s cry piercing the air and toes curling as he cums, the white substance splattering on both their bodies. The ring of muscles tightens around Changmin and he too finds himself cumming, emptying himself into Yunho.
Changmin rests against Yunho and stays inside him for a few more moments, trying to catch his breath. He pulls out and collapses onto the bed, gathering Yunho into his arms to kiss the sunshine back into his life.
“Why are you back so early?”
He feels Yunho shrugging. “Who says I can’t? Besides, my mom knows. I told her I couldn’t stand being without you.”
Changmin feels like laughing in pure joy. “I missed you,” he smiles as he gazes into Yunho’s eyes.
Yunho snuggles against him. “I can tell.”
Changmin turns over and switches off the lamp before flinging the covers over them. He pulls Yunho even closer and kisses his hair.
“Changmin?” Yunho’s sleepy voice calls out.
“Hmm?”
Yunho kisses his chest. “I love you.”
Changmin smiles and closes his eyes. “I love you too. Now go to sleep.”
Who knew letters would actually make him love Yunho?
*
A/N: Somehow this fic changed from letters to revolving around Yunho’s smile and eyes >_> Uh, you might not like MinHo and the smut is quite rushed, and this was actually one of the hardest prompts given to me, so sorry if you don’t rike it ;_; Hope it’s up to your standards *hopeful* :D
I used the education based on America, so I’m sorry if I get any wrong, please don’t sue me D: Choosing majors / minors is hard, then I find out that you can only add on a minor to a major, which doesn’t really add up in HoMin’s cases here since I didn’t add any T_T
Oh and sorry this took so long. School started around the last week of June and I had had hardly any time to write T_T