Week of new beginnings
I feel lazy. I really don't want to type up an entry but if i don't i'll loose an important part of my history.
This week was the week where i took 2 big leaps in my life.
The first being accepting the application to whitecliffe art and design college. I suppose i've always been afraid that i'd loose my friends. But somehow this year i have grown. Become more self motivated and aware. Perhaps even a little more independant. i'm definitely feeling anticipatory. I don't know how well i'm going to do. Art... is a path of discovery for me. It's also a path full of prettiness~ I guess Law definitely not working for me. Even before i officially failed the course my fire of passion was not burning as brightly as i thought it might if i continued. My future as a lawyer seemed daunting. It's a courageous career where one is able to help others. But i can't help people that way. I think i'd die on the inside somehow. Perhaps i'm just giving excuses for my failure. But like a monk once said "maybe it's a good thing you failed your med exam. It means you won't be endangering someones life." - i.e. i failed this way because there are other things that i must accomplish. Maybe next year i will go back and try again. Although i highly doubt it. WIth that said, i've been known to proove myself wrong.
This week i also attended the LIFE Get Smart Youth Conference. It was quite... spectacular. On the first day i was getting into it, the second i was excited, the third i fell from the excitement (not literally), and on the last day (17/07/09)... i guess i accepted the existence of God and am now trying to pursue my purpose in life. Not that i know what that is yet... but i believe i'm getting there. What i find the hardest are the prayers to God. Apparently he knows what i'm about to say before i say it. Well then he must know that talking to him seems a bit weird to me and i don't even think he's listening sometimes, or that he even exists. The life of a christian is truly a battlefield. "WHY DOES LOVE ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A BATTLEFIELD"
Day to day we fight to live for God. Am i on the right path?...
Andrea Andrews from the conference talked about relationships. I learnt something important, even though Yun told me that something before it didn't really hit me till Andy used an analogy. ( I LOVE ANALOGIES) It goes as follows:
ORANGE PAPER LOVE
Once upon a time there was an ornage piece of paper. She met a blue piece of paper and they both fell madly in love. They were stuck to each other with glue. One day the blue piece of paper didn't feel the same way and left her. He left her taking pieces of her orangeness with him. The orange piece of paper was stuck with blue bits of paper that she didn't want to have. Later on she met a purple piece of paper. She thought that he was different and they were fell madly in love. She gave herself willingly to him and they were stuck together with glue. One day he got bored of her and left her leaving her with purple bits stuck to her.
In the end, she was left with bits of herself scattered all over the place. And with her was hurt and unwanted pieces of her past she didn't want.
Although i don't tell it like Andy Andrews does, i hope you get the point.
Well that's all i got for now. TOo lazy to write more. Tata
This week was the week where i took 2 big leaps in my life.
The first being accepting the application to whitecliffe art and design college. I suppose i've always been afraid that i'd loose my friends. But somehow this year i have grown. Become more self motivated and aware. Perhaps even a little more independant. i'm definitely feeling anticipatory. I don't know how well i'm going to do. Art... is a path of discovery for me. It's also a path full of prettiness~ I guess Law definitely not working for me. Even before i officially failed the course my fire of passion was not burning as brightly as i thought it might if i continued. My future as a lawyer seemed daunting. It's a courageous career where one is able to help others. But i can't help people that way. I think i'd die on the inside somehow. Perhaps i'm just giving excuses for my failure. But like a monk once said "maybe it's a good thing you failed your med exam. It means you won't be endangering someones life." - i.e. i failed this way because there are other things that i must accomplish. Maybe next year i will go back and try again. Although i highly doubt it. WIth that said, i've been known to proove myself wrong.
This week i also attended the LIFE Get Smart Youth Conference. It was quite... spectacular. On the first day i was getting into it, the second i was excited, the third i fell from the excitement (not literally), and on the last day (17/07/09)... i guess i accepted the existence of God and am now trying to pursue my purpose in life. Not that i know what that is yet... but i believe i'm getting there. What i find the hardest are the prayers to God. Apparently he knows what i'm about to say before i say it. Well then he must know that talking to him seems a bit weird to me and i don't even think he's listening sometimes, or that he even exists. The life of a christian is truly a battlefield. "WHY DOES LOVE ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A BATTLEFIELD"
Day to day we fight to live for God. Am i on the right path?...
Andrea Andrews from the conference talked about relationships. I learnt something important, even though Yun told me that something before it didn't really hit me till Andy used an analogy. ( I LOVE ANALOGIES) It goes as follows:
ORANGE PAPER LOVE
Once upon a time there was an ornage piece of paper. She met a blue piece of paper and they both fell madly in love. They were stuck to each other with glue. One day the blue piece of paper didn't feel the same way and left her. He left her taking pieces of her orangeness with him. The orange piece of paper was stuck with blue bits of paper that she didn't want to have. Later on she met a purple piece of paper. She thought that he was different and they were fell madly in love. She gave herself willingly to him and they were stuck together with glue. One day he got bored of her and left her leaving her with purple bits stuck to her.
In the end, she was left with bits of herself scattered all over the place. And with her was hurt and unwanted pieces of her past she didn't want.
Although i don't tell it like Andy Andrews does, i hope you get the point.
Well that's all i got for now. TOo lazy to write more. Tata