10 years in Song...
So this week celebrates 10 years of my having my LJ. I had this idea to mark the occasion with my version of the lost art of a mixtape...kinda. Some songs are very time and place type songs, some songs came out after the fact but the lyrics but I thought about songs that represent a time, or an incident in my life and came up with this list. Some songs were of the time. Some of the life events I wrote about in full detail. Some events I wrote crypically. A couple I'm mentioning in full disclosure for the first time ever on this journal. It's funny how time can heal some wounds. And music can take you back.
2004-2006
To kick off my mixtape is the Yeah Yeah Yeahs Date with the Night. It doesn't really denote any particular event but as I was 21 om 2004, I had many nights out going to bars, drunken Tuesday Clinic nights, etc. This song was often my jam as I stumbled down the Hill from the bar with my friends to my bus stop. This song made me feel young and hip at the time and any time I listen to it now, it always takes me back to that time period of my life.
The Beatles - Across the Universe: I've really debated including this one but it is a song that makes me think of a very particular incident when I decided to do a particular drug with someone who I loved very much but had a problem. I would never go as far as to say "it seemed like a good idea at the time" but I would say I took a chance in sharing that experience with this person and immediately afterwards he decided to get his life together and couldn't have me in his life any longer and it totally broke me for a while. The irony of us listening to this song on repeat that day thinking nothing would change but...yeah it totally did.
Adelle - Someone Like You: All right, I know this is totally the most cliche song to include in any mix tape. The song hadn't come out at the time but the reason it's over played and cliche is because it really is a perfect expression of unrequited love or getting over/trying to get over loosing someone. I include this track because actually getting out of my unhealthy unrequited love was probably the best thing I could have realized for myself and moved on. It was real simple when it hit me one day, a drug addict and a bit of a drunk would never make a good couple, say nothing of the fact this person didn't see me in that light. We had a great friendship...eventually, he came around and we're still friends. But had I not made that realization I wouldn't have been able to make more important mistakes in my early life...
The YYYs- No Mysteries...Like the person known coloquially as The Welshman, who was the person who rid me of my unicorn I had traling behind me--to keep with colloquial phrasing, if you know what I mean. I kinda fell hard, even though I was so trying to be so grown up, casual and adult. Went on to find the person was pretty slutty and I was just one of a small handful not to mention a fiancee in Australia. That wasn't enough to stop me from still going back for a while and feeling shitty about it, knowing full well, no mysteries there...
The Dresden Dolls - Backstabber: Then of course there was the huge falling out I had with my best friend of nine years. It wasn't pretty. I discovered this song shortly after the dust settled when I was still pretty bitter about it all.
2007-2009
The Killers-Mr Brightside: But things got better and the whole debacle actually made me much closer to my three other friends and The Girls(tm) were born. For a couple of years we were a force to be reconed with and seemingly inseparable. We had each other's backs. We had great game nights. We did ensemble Halloween outfits. We had epic Pride parties. Some friends expressed a kind of envy of the friendship the four of us shared. Hell, we even all co-wrote a book together. For about two and a half years we were the best friends ever and this was always our jam that we would turn on and take over the livingroom dancing together. Those were good times.
Robots in Disguise: Can't Stop Getting Wasted: In fact, I probably had a little bit too much for for a time. in 2009 some darker things started bubbling underneath There was some animosity and hurt but it was often well drowned out with plenty of booze...
RiD-The Tears: I know I'm having two Robots in Disguise songs next to each other, usually a big no no in Mix tapes but in this time was listening to this album incessantly. The Tears I might have listened to about three times a day after having been raped. It's not something I blogged about publicly or even on a friends only filter. This might even be my first mention of it here but I feel it is important say, now with the help of time. After it happened I blamed myself, felt stupid and worthless. I kind of mentally checked out and spent a lot of time escaping into British TV shows. I listened to this song because it made me feel. I could emote to it, and I did regularly, usually on my walks to work, to get the cry out before facing my day of trying to not think about it again. The song as a whole, like what it says wasn't what spoke to me as much as the individual lines. "I'm your slave, cut to tase" captured my self loathing party, the part that make me feel like nothing but a heap of flesh to the person who violated me. The repitition of "I'll cut her" captured my anger as the person who raped me was trans. Anyway...It still a representation of the dark time where I was so down that I wanted to badly to escape Seattle and go to London.
The Jam-Going Underground:This is where you're expecting me to put on The Clash's "London Calling" but I'm not gonna. No instead my first visit to London was all about Madness, Adam and the Ants and especially The Jam. My 10 days in London was not only an excuse to go on holiday and visit a couple of schools, it was a test to see if I had the balls to actually leave my life behind for something different and see if I was headstrong enough to make a go at it alone. I fell in love with the city and had come home somehow reborn. I was determined to get out of Seattle, where things had gone a bit south on me and start a new life...Nothing would hold me back...
2010-2011
Ben Folds - The Luckiest: The last thing that I expected shortly after returning from London with my new resolve to move there was to meet someone who would completely change my life. Andy had just made a similar resolve in his life in leaving Vegas and moving to Seattle and wasn't expecting to meet me either and when I told Andy of my goal to go to school in London he loved me so much to fully support me. We fell in such love so quickly and did wonderful things together. We had a lovely Valentine's weekend together, We went to Vegas together. This song Andy actually put on a mix CD for me for Valentine's Day and before I went to London he made a little video of it with pictures of us that I would watch and cry to while I was away.
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home: While I was away in London, it was actually far more difficult than I had imagined it would be at first. Before I had made close friends, when I still felt very isolated, I was feeling a lot of home sickness and much of it had to do with missing Andy. I was still trying to live it up and do new things and go a bit crazy Anytime this song came on my headphones (and it did on the Tube quite a bit) I would just start crying.
The White Stripes-Icky Thump: Andy and I had an arrangement about meeting people and doing fun stuff in London. Unfortunately I kinda hit a big snag with that and went through a short lived rock bottom at one point when I got rolled. I was really upset felt stupid and worthless for a while. I didn't describe it as honestly at the time because I was embarrassed, but again, time makes things a little less embarrassing and if it's happened to Jack White then it could happen to anybody am I right? If nothing else at least I got the experience of having a South London detective in my dorm room saying there wasn't much he could do and it's all part of the "rich tapestry of city life."
Madness-It Must Be Love:Though things were hard being away from Andy after Xmas he came to visit me in London and proposed to me officially in Trafalgar Square. The visit went too quickly and it sucked that we were both kind of sick for it but it was full of good memories
Adam Ant - Puss in Boots: My time in London got over it's rocky point and though there were still occasional bouts in homesickness, the new year brought a lot more adventure and a more positive attitude about making the most of every day over there. I had good friends. I went on daily explorations. I was writing every day. Things were going really well and I was conquering that town.
The Clash: London's Burning...Even with the occasional riot that kept me in doors for a couple of days. It gave me time to write.
Lily Allen - Chinese: Eventually the time came for me to say goodbye to London and to come home to Seattle. It didn't go quite as smoothly as I had imagined in the months of being away listening to this song. There were definitely tears, but I was jet lagged and stressed out. Still it was good to finally get home and be with my family and friends and Sparky. Though we were in very close quarters in our one bedroom in Queen Anne.
2012-2014
Madness-Our House: After a year of Job Hunting I finally got a job and we were able to move into our house in Magnolia. It was my first ever time living in a house and we added to our family with a little ginger kitty I named Vyvyan...named after my favorite Young Ones Character. :)
Pomplamoose- Little Things: On Sept 21, 2013 we had our beautiful wedding. This was another one of our songs and also the song we did our first dance to as man and wife. It very sweetly encapsulates happy domestic life where maybe things aren't all grad and romatic but it's the little things you do to make the other person happy. It's also significant that the singer of this duo reminds me a lot of my oldest friend Sfirah who officiated the wedding for us. It really was the perfect wedding day and went all too quickly.
Tom Waits-Misery's the River of the World: I have one more song on my list that I wanted to include which was a Tom Waits Song that I listened to a lot in the days when I hated, hated, hated my job at the travel agency. Being worn down by my former boss, in constant fear for my job and her temper and constantly feeling worthless and stupid took a lot out of me. After the wedding, I no longer had a happy distraction and was constantly reminded that things in my life really needed fixing.
Luckily though, I quit that job and after 3 months of searching found a new job where I'm making far more money and get so much more appreciation and respect I'm a million times happier. But I don't have a song for this time quite yet. But not wanting to end on a down note...here's a song (and a bit of sillyness)...
END
2004-2006
Click to viewTo kick off my mixtape is the Yeah Yeah Yeahs Date with the Night. It doesn't really denote any particular event but as I was 21 om 2004, I had many nights out going to bars, drunken Tuesday Clinic nights, etc. This song was often my jam as I stumbled down the Hill from the bar with my friends to my bus stop. This song made me feel young and hip at the time and any time I listen to it now, it always takes me back to that time period of my life.
The Beatles - Across the Universe: I've really debated including this one but it is a song that makes me think of a very particular incident when I decided to do a particular drug with someone who I loved very much but had a problem. I would never go as far as to say "it seemed like a good idea at the time" but I would say I took a chance in sharing that experience with this person and immediately afterwards he decided to get his life together and couldn't have me in his life any longer and it totally broke me for a while. The irony of us listening to this song on repeat that day thinking nothing would change but...yeah it totally did.
Adelle - Someone Like You: All right, I know this is totally the most cliche song to include in any mix tape. The song hadn't come out at the time but the reason it's over played and cliche is because it really is a perfect expression of unrequited love or getting over/trying to get over loosing someone. I include this track because actually getting out of my unhealthy unrequited love was probably the best thing I could have realized for myself and moved on. It was real simple when it hit me one day, a drug addict and a bit of a drunk would never make a good couple, say nothing of the fact this person didn't see me in that light. We had a great friendship...eventually, he came around and we're still friends. But had I not made that realization I wouldn't have been able to make more important mistakes in my early life...
The YYYs- No Mysteries...Like the person known coloquially as The Welshman, who was the person who rid me of my unicorn I had traling behind me--to keep with colloquial phrasing, if you know what I mean. I kinda fell hard, even though I was so trying to be so grown up, casual and adult. Went on to find the person was pretty slutty and I was just one of a small handful not to mention a fiancee in Australia. That wasn't enough to stop me from still going back for a while and feeling shitty about it, knowing full well, no mysteries there...
The Dresden Dolls - Backstabber: Then of course there was the huge falling out I had with my best friend of nine years. It wasn't pretty. I discovered this song shortly after the dust settled when I was still pretty bitter about it all.
2007-2009
The Killers-Mr Brightside: But things got better and the whole debacle actually made me much closer to my three other friends and The Girls(tm) were born. For a couple of years we were a force to be reconed with and seemingly inseparable. We had each other's backs. We had great game nights. We did ensemble Halloween outfits. We had epic Pride parties. Some friends expressed a kind of envy of the friendship the four of us shared. Hell, we even all co-wrote a book together. For about two and a half years we were the best friends ever and this was always our jam that we would turn on and take over the livingroom dancing together. Those were good times.
Robots in Disguise: Can't Stop Getting Wasted: In fact, I probably had a little bit too much for for a time. in 2009 some darker things started bubbling underneath There was some animosity and hurt but it was often well drowned out with plenty of booze...
RiD-The Tears: I know I'm having two Robots in Disguise songs next to each other, usually a big no no in Mix tapes but in this time was listening to this album incessantly. The Tears I might have listened to about three times a day after having been raped. It's not something I blogged about publicly or even on a friends only filter. This might even be my first mention of it here but I feel it is important say, now with the help of time. After it happened I blamed myself, felt stupid and worthless. I kind of mentally checked out and spent a lot of time escaping into British TV shows. I listened to this song because it made me feel. I could emote to it, and I did regularly, usually on my walks to work, to get the cry out before facing my day of trying to not think about it again. The song as a whole, like what it says wasn't what spoke to me as much as the individual lines. "I'm your slave, cut to tase" captured my self loathing party, the part that make me feel like nothing but a heap of flesh to the person who violated me. The repitition of "I'll cut her" captured my anger as the person who raped me was trans. Anyway...It still a representation of the dark time where I was so down that I wanted to badly to escape Seattle and go to London.
The Jam-Going Underground:This is where you're expecting me to put on The Clash's "London Calling" but I'm not gonna. No instead my first visit to London was all about Madness, Adam and the Ants and especially The Jam. My 10 days in London was not only an excuse to go on holiday and visit a couple of schools, it was a test to see if I had the balls to actually leave my life behind for something different and see if I was headstrong enough to make a go at it alone. I fell in love with the city and had come home somehow reborn. I was determined to get out of Seattle, where things had gone a bit south on me and start a new life...Nothing would hold me back...
2010-2011
Ben Folds - The Luckiest: The last thing that I expected shortly after returning from London with my new resolve to move there was to meet someone who would completely change my life. Andy had just made a similar resolve in his life in leaving Vegas and moving to Seattle and wasn't expecting to meet me either and when I told Andy of my goal to go to school in London he loved me so much to fully support me. We fell in such love so quickly and did wonderful things together. We had a lovely Valentine's weekend together, We went to Vegas together. This song Andy actually put on a mix CD for me for Valentine's Day and before I went to London he made a little video of it with pictures of us that I would watch and cry to while I was away.
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home: While I was away in London, it was actually far more difficult than I had imagined it would be at first. Before I had made close friends, when I still felt very isolated, I was feeling a lot of home sickness and much of it had to do with missing Andy. I was still trying to live it up and do new things and go a bit crazy Anytime this song came on my headphones (and it did on the Tube quite a bit) I would just start crying.
The White Stripes-Icky Thump: Andy and I had an arrangement about meeting people and doing fun stuff in London. Unfortunately I kinda hit a big snag with that and went through a short lived rock bottom at one point when I got rolled. I was really upset felt stupid and worthless for a while. I didn't describe it as honestly at the time because I was embarrassed, but again, time makes things a little less embarrassing and if it's happened to Jack White then it could happen to anybody am I right? If nothing else at least I got the experience of having a South London detective in my dorm room saying there wasn't much he could do and it's all part of the "rich tapestry of city life."
Madness-It Must Be Love:Though things were hard being away from Andy after Xmas he came to visit me in London and proposed to me officially in Trafalgar Square. The visit went too quickly and it sucked that we were both kind of sick for it but it was full of good memories
Adam Ant - Puss in Boots: My time in London got over it's rocky point and though there were still occasional bouts in homesickness, the new year brought a lot more adventure and a more positive attitude about making the most of every day over there. I had good friends. I went on daily explorations. I was writing every day. Things were going really well and I was conquering that town.
The Clash: London's Burning...Even with the occasional riot that kept me in doors for a couple of days. It gave me time to write.
Lily Allen - Chinese: Eventually the time came for me to say goodbye to London and to come home to Seattle. It didn't go quite as smoothly as I had imagined in the months of being away listening to this song. There were definitely tears, but I was jet lagged and stressed out. Still it was good to finally get home and be with my family and friends and Sparky. Though we were in very close quarters in our one bedroom in Queen Anne.
2012-2014
Madness-Our House: After a year of Job Hunting I finally got a job and we were able to move into our house in Magnolia. It was my first ever time living in a house and we added to our family with a little ginger kitty I named Vyvyan...named after my favorite Young Ones Character. :)
Pomplamoose- Little Things: On Sept 21, 2013 we had our beautiful wedding. This was another one of our songs and also the song we did our first dance to as man and wife. It very sweetly encapsulates happy domestic life where maybe things aren't all grad and romatic but it's the little things you do to make the other person happy. It's also significant that the singer of this duo reminds me a lot of my oldest friend Sfirah who officiated the wedding for us. It really was the perfect wedding day and went all too quickly.
Tom Waits-Misery's the River of the World: I have one more song on my list that I wanted to include which was a Tom Waits Song that I listened to a lot in the days when I hated, hated, hated my job at the travel agency. Being worn down by my former boss, in constant fear for my job and her temper and constantly feeling worthless and stupid took a lot out of me. After the wedding, I no longer had a happy distraction and was constantly reminded that things in my life really needed fixing.
Luckily though, I quit that job and after 3 months of searching found a new job where I'm making far more money and get so much more appreciation and respect I'm a million times happier. But I don't have a song for this time quite yet. But not wanting to end on a down note...here's a song (and a bit of sillyness)...
END