getting dumped...
So last night, I got dumped.
It's been a really long time since I've been dumped. I really forgot how much it hurts even if you agree with it. It's total rejection...the "What's wrong with me?" question keeps popping up even though I know that it's just we don't click on certain levels. We both want to change eachother and that's just not healthy...and it probably will never happen. We are who we are.
The part that really got me though was how it came about...
I had been drinking with my friend Ty and I called Andy to ask if he wanted to come pick me up or would he rather me stay overnight at Ty's? (Cause I know he gets really annoyed with me when I'm drinking) He says, yeah, I'll come get you when I get out of work. Ok...
So, he picks me up, everything's fine. He just got a new tattoo(which I bought for him btw) and he pulls out this cream to put on it and says, look what Kanani got me? Listen, I know he likes this girl or has a crush or whatnot so I start teasing him about it, but he gets really mad so of course I get suspicious...what's there to get mad about???? Did you do something with this girl???? guilty much???? So, I'm drunk and I probably overreacted, but I was just like, whatever...
He dumps me. Just like that He says, "I'm sick of this whole thing" I say, "ok, I'll stop talking about it" he says "no, I mean us"
ugh. pit. in. stomach.
I told him to get out, but he didn't. He slept most of the night on the couch and then came and spooned me this morning. We talked about it this morning and he apologized to doing that to me while I was drunk and he should have waited til the morning. So he just explained that he wants me to change and that is not fair to ask of someone so we should not be together. Then, I agreed. It just hurts, like someone kicked me in the belly. My back has been spasming prior to this whole thing also, so I really do have some physical pain.
I know that one day I will be with someone who gets me. It just seems like I'm getting old...hahahaha and I don't know...what's wrong with me that guys pretty much end up running away???? oh well. Nothing to do now but wait...oh yeah...and he said that me having no money stresses him out. hahahah...well how does he think I feel about that?!?!?!?! He accused me of not looking for a job ever when I've been doing that every chance I get. He really doesn't understand me. I guess it's for the best.
Still, ugh.
It's been a really long time since I've been dumped. I really forgot how much it hurts even if you agree with it. It's total rejection...the "What's wrong with me?" question keeps popping up even though I know that it's just we don't click on certain levels. We both want to change eachother and that's just not healthy...and it probably will never happen. We are who we are.
The part that really got me though was how it came about...
I had been drinking with my friend Ty and I called Andy to ask if he wanted to come pick me up or would he rather me stay overnight at Ty's? (Cause I know he gets really annoyed with me when I'm drinking) He says, yeah, I'll come get you when I get out of work. Ok...
So, he picks me up, everything's fine. He just got a new tattoo(which I bought for him btw) and he pulls out this cream to put on it and says, look what Kanani got me? Listen, I know he likes this girl or has a crush or whatnot so I start teasing him about it, but he gets really mad so of course I get suspicious...what's there to get mad about???? Did you do something with this girl???? guilty much???? So, I'm drunk and I probably overreacted, but I was just like, whatever...
He dumps me. Just like that He says, "I'm sick of this whole thing" I say, "ok, I'll stop talking about it" he says "no, I mean us"
ugh. pit. in. stomach.
I told him to get out, but he didn't. He slept most of the night on the couch and then came and spooned me this morning. We talked about it this morning and he apologized to doing that to me while I was drunk and he should have waited til the morning. So he just explained that he wants me to change and that is not fair to ask of someone so we should not be together. Then, I agreed. It just hurts, like someone kicked me in the belly. My back has been spasming prior to this whole thing also, so I really do have some physical pain.
I know that one day I will be with someone who gets me. It just seems like I'm getting old...hahahaha and I don't know...what's wrong with me that guys pretty much end up running away???? oh well. Nothing to do now but wait...oh yeah...and he said that me having no money stresses him out. hahahah...well how does he think I feel about that?!?!?!?! He accused me of not looking for a job ever when I've been doing that every chance I get. He really doesn't understand me. I guess it's for the best.
Still, ugh.