Nyxie
I have a very hard decision to make
Last Wednesday, a huge lump appeared on the back right leg of Nyx, my big black 14 year old cat. I took him to the vet Friday. The vet said that it was a tumour, and too large to excise. There'd be too much muscle, nerve, and vessel lost and not even enough skin left to wrap around the leg. He gave him a big dose of cortisone and gave me antibiotic drops to give him in hopes of shrinking the tumour. I'm to take him back Tuesday to check it. I didn't ask what would happen if it didn't shrink enough, because I dreaded hearing the answer.
Well, it's Sunday afternoon. The tumour appears to be very slightly larger, not smaller.
From what research I've done today (since I realized the thing wasn't going to shrink), I have a choice. Depending on whether or not the thing is malignant, I can let the vet amputate the leg, let Nyx live with it - and if it keeps growing it'll burst the skin eventually, or have him put down.
I'm sure I don't want him to have to live with it. It doesn't seem to be painful at all to him - he didn't even protest when the doctor poked and probed at it. But if it keeps growing and bursts the skin, it'll be much much worse for him.
So it winds up being a decision between amputation or death.
He's been a good companion and knowing I had to care for him kept me going many times years ago when I would have given up totally. I want very much to do what's best for him, but I don't know what's best. From what I've read on the internet cats don't have all that hard a time with amputation - no emotional problems as humans have, mainly. They just get on with what they do. He's been arthritic for a couple of years, so he hasn't done any running or climbing - actually, he's climbed small things more the last couple of weeks than he has in years.
I'm leaning toward amputation, even though I can't afford it - but if there's one thing I have a surplus of, it's credit. I just wish I could be sure that it's the right thing for him. I'm afraid if I decide on amputation, it'll be a selfish decision, just because I want to keep him with me a little longer.
Ah, well. I've rambled around and now have a confused post and I'm not in the mood to make it better.