(no subject)
i think that we will all be better off when parents realize that they do not, will not and can not understand.
tonight i'd been home for about ten minutes when the yelling and crying started... it sucks enough as it is to hate what a failure i seem to be without my mother screaming about how selfish i am. it's not helpful that she's contradictory as hell, either...
i have too much going on and i'm thinking seriously about not taking the history exam. it's probably a waste of 83 dollars, since if i get a three i'll be lucky and that won't really get me anything in college, anyway.
i have to quit something, but there's nothing i can really quit without letting a whole bunch of people down. and now my mom complains that i need a job - and i told her i want to quit working for fauzia and she said that would be economically silly - so she expects me to add a job onto everything that i do.
i want to sleep. i want to go to college, the right college, and at the moment i'm not sure that even exists... i want school to be over so i can start learning things... i want to write and draw and dance and sing and do plays and learn about what i want to learn about...
i want to be coherent.
mostly i want to sleep.