I no want to know your name! I just want to bang bang bang!
Top 10 Reasons I Won't Miss Texas
10. Shiner Bock - I'm so tired of hearing people rave about a beer that truthfully tastes like crap.
9. Podunkville, Texas - I swear there are more of these fucking one-stop-light towns in this fucking state than there are people in Houston.
8. 59, 610, Beltway 8, I-10, 45, 290 - Need I say more?
7. Hicks - "Howdy", "Over Yonder", and "Billy Bob" are all colloquialisms I can do without.
6. Tom DeLay - As a constituent of Mr. DeLay, I can definitely say that I won't miss the fellow.
5. Humidity - Bad hair days, eat your heart out!
4. The "N" word - I hate it soooo much.
3. Guns - Everyone has a fucking gun in this state. Everyone.
2. Janie - She's coming with me!
1. Texas - I'm so ready to get the eff outta here!
Top 10 Reasons I Will Miss Texas
10. Sunsets - Nothing says beauty like a sky full of smog.
9. Gas prices - $1.82 here versus something like $1.96 there!
8. Knowing my way around - You thought I was bad in the town that I've lived in all my life? Just wait.
7. Weather - I like the torrential downpours and warm "autumn" evenings we have!
6. Restaurants - Say "goodbye" to variety or ethnic food of any kind.
5. Drinking & Smoking - Who the hell am I gonna know to get drunk or high with in CT?
4. The Astros - They're my boys, what can I say? (Even if the fuckers didn't make it to the World Series. Fuckers.)
3. My room - My mommy and I worked so hard to make it so pretty.
2. Piercings - They sure as shit won't be free anymore. (I hate the idea of having to pay for piercings again! And finding a new shop, and blah blah blah...)
1. The people - Mommy, Lucas, Alyx & Lindsey
BANG BANG BANG!
10. Shiner Bock - I'm so tired of hearing people rave about a beer that truthfully tastes like crap.
9. Podunkville, Texas - I swear there are more of these fucking one-stop-light towns in this fucking state than there are people in Houston.
8. 59, 610, Beltway 8, I-10, 45, 290 - Need I say more?
7. Hicks - "Howdy", "Over Yonder", and "Billy Bob" are all colloquialisms I can do without.
6. Tom DeLay - As a constituent of Mr. DeLay, I can definitely say that I won't miss the fellow.
5. Humidity - Bad hair days, eat your heart out!
4. The "N" word - I hate it soooo much.
3. Guns - Everyone has a fucking gun in this state. Everyone.
2. Janie - She's coming with me!
1. Texas - I'm so ready to get the eff outta here!
Top 10 Reasons I Will Miss Texas
10. Sunsets - Nothing says beauty like a sky full of smog.
9. Gas prices - $1.82 here versus something like $1.96 there!
8. Knowing my way around - You thought I was bad in the town that I've lived in all my life? Just wait.
7. Weather - I like the torrential downpours and warm "autumn" evenings we have!
6. Restaurants - Say "goodbye" to variety or ethnic food of any kind.
5. Drinking & Smoking - Who the hell am I gonna know to get drunk or high with in CT?
4. The Astros - They're my boys, what can I say? (Even if the fuckers didn't make it to the World Series. Fuckers.)
3. My room - My mommy and I worked so hard to make it so pretty.
2. Piercings - They sure as shit won't be free anymore. (I hate the idea of having to pay for piercings again! And finding a new shop, and blah blah blah...)
1. The people - Mommy, Lucas, Alyx & Lindsey
BANG BANG BANG!