Look Back in Wonder - Chapter One
So, I got a post asking for help to get neevebrody back on the internet via PayItForward. I don't have any funds so offered a fic of thier choice. popkin16 purchased a McShep fic, based on Soulmates, and this is the final draft. She has been kind enough to share this fic, (seeing as she brought it and it is hers alone), with all of you - so I hope you enjoy and join me in thanking her for sharing: (Popkin - Hope you like the final draft and the surprise banner I cooked up last night. Enjoy!)
CHAPTER ONE:
They had been on PX8-5QY for three days now. Part of the trade negotiations had been an agreement for Atlantis to make changes to improve the day to day living of the natives, the Karmani.
Rodney had opted to oversee the teams that were putting in irrigation, plumbing, advising farming techniques, education and the like to make changes throughout. This was partially because he’d felt his team needed to be corralled somewhere safe and relaxing for a while where he wasn’t worrying about them twentyfourseven, not that he told them that. Also, partially because he liked the Karmani, they may be lacking in knowledge but they were eager to learn and Rodney always respected that. As far as Atlantis was concerned it was because he hadn't trusted his scientists not to take the opportunity for a vacation.
The natives wore long tunics in neutral colours and they all wore their hair long, regardless of sex, with the sides pulled back to lay in a ponytail against the rest of their hair. They reminded Rodney of the elves from Lord of the Rings, except their ears were nowhere near as pointed as John’s. They had a new age feel to them, very peaceful and at one with nature’, but they weren’t at all offended when Rodney scoffed at their ideas and, more importantly, they were willing to learn.
The Karmani were eager to take on all the medical and scientific knowledge that the Atlantean team could bestow on them. They revelled in the changes, working along side his own scientists and the marines, commanded by John, to learn how each improvement was created, and they learnt quickly. Their intention being to travel to the other villages and pass this information on, so everyone on this world would benefit and share in their good fortune. They were just good people and it made Rodney happy to help them.
Rodney suspected that they hadn’t fully realised the true extent of the changes, greeting each new invention with awe and joy. They were so impressed with the improvements that they’d held a feast in honour of the Atlanteans, who had made all this possible.
Ronon had been delayed out in the fields, passing on and learning survival tactics and defence tactics, should the Wraith show up. The Karmani had not seen them in eons, passing into myths and legends amongst their people, sadly something Rodney had been sure would not last. Rodney expected Ronon to join them at the feast any minute now the food had been passed out, the man had a built in radar for good food.
Teyla had been updating their libraries with helpful address’ earlier in the day, but was now ensconced in their meditation hut learning their techniques. If for Teyla alone, Rodney had been glad they came. She seemed to gain back some of the peace she held when he’d first met her, growing more carefree and easy to smile during their stay, losing some of the tenseness of her stance. Likewise, John had also grown more relaxed.
Lately, it seemed as if all their missions went wrong one way or another, and the list of enemies grew. It had become standard to the point that his entire team tensed as they went through the ring, almost expecting something bad. This mission had reminded them that there were still good people out there, and that there were still missions where they could relax. Rodney noticed the looseness in the way his team moved over those few days, almost sad they would be leaving in the next day or so. He just hoped this reprieve was enough for them, both physically and mentally.
It was almost hard to remember the troubles they’d had, sitting out under clear blue skies with the late afternoon sun gently warming their backs. Roughly hewn chairs sat at long tables around the centre of this hamlet, wooden huts topped with thatch ran around the edge of the large square, and spread out to make up this small hamlet, the central square large enough to sit the population who normally ate together. One of many hamlets that were scattered all over the planet, but the nearest to the gate and hence the first one the team had met.
With the training and work being carried out, the normal routine of eating together had been disrupted. Rodney’s scientists would be another hour or two before they finished their current projects. Although a few that were working in other areas and had finished for the day were sat further along the tables with the marines, who were on rotation.
John and Rodney, as head of their respective teams and part of the first contact team, had been given space at the head table, but at present the only native sitting with them was Dalyia, which suited Rodney as she was one of his favourites. She reminded him of the Minbari Ambassador, Delenn, from Bablyon 5, except she didn’t have that bone tiara. She looked human, like a hippy vegan, but still human.
She was apprentice to the Sharman and stood for the religious issues on the council. Not normally someone Rodney would get on with, but she had a quick and clever mind, let Rodney’s attitude roll off her with a wry grin and she not only allowed science to run alongside religion, but was also willing to learn, something Rodney appreciated. She didn’t try to convert him, could hold her own on a debate, a skill no doubt learnt from her time on the council, and she had a strong independence and was basically a nice person. She also reminded him a bit of Jeannie when she was a little girl, when she still looked at Rodney as if the world turned because he made it so, which didn’t hurt.
“Thank you for your assistance these last few days, Dr. McKay.” Dalyia said, sat across the food laden table from him. “Our daily lives will be much easier with the many different things you have created. You are indeed a very clever man to understand all that you do.”
“Well, I am the smartest man in two galaxies,” Rodney answered smugly, while he simultaneously reached for seconds of the blue pork, that just fell off the bone and melted in the mouth. Beside him, John shook his head with a soft smile as he watched Rodney with fond eyes.
“Well, you have been learning for an awfully long time, Dr. McKay. I would expect nothing less.”
Rodney stopped in the middle of tipping more blue pork onto his wooden slab that the natives used for plates. He turned to John, “Did she just call me old?” he asked indignantly.
“I think so, Rodney,” John said with an easy grin as he obviously tried not to actually laugh out loud.
“No, you are young yet,” Daliya comforted, “for all the lives you have lived.”
“Lives I have lived, right,” Rodney agreed, as he finished tipping the pork on his plate and put the serving plate back in the center of the table. Before he began to eat, he took the time to roll his eyes at John in case he’d been taken in by his words. When Rodney turned back to find the alien had leant across the table to look directly into his eyes with an intense stare, he’d been shocked enough to release a small yelp as he leant back, trying to create a little distance. He was more than a little satisfied when he’d felt John tensed up next to him, ha, not so funny anymore when the nutter might take away your only chance for survival in this twisted up galaxy, is it?
However, the alien just nodded in satisfaction. “Yes, quite a few lives you have had, and successful ones too.”
“Successful, like with money and nobel prizes and such?” Rodney asked as he lent forward eagerly, with a mixture of smugness and joy.
“You a believer now, Rodney?” John muttered jovially beside him.
“Successful in love, Dr. McKay,” Daliya answered with a fond smile. “You seem to have found your soulmate in a large number of lives, it is rare to do so even once. The bond between you must be strong.”
“Hmpfff,” Rodney huffed out, he’d been aiming for dismissive, but had known the bitter sound gave away more than he intended, unable to fully hide the stab of pain he had felt inside at her words.
“You don’t believe in soulmates Rodney?” John asked with that easy smile of his.
Rodney was suddenly uncharacteristically still, before he answered quietly, “No. At least not for people like me.”
“People like you?” John asked in puzzlement
Rodney glanced over, blue eyes looking vulnerable and bruised, “I know what I’m like Colonel. I know I’m selfish, I know I focus on the wrong things, that I give all my time to science so I don’t have time for anything else. That I have too many faults to ignore. For people like me, soulmates are as mythical as the white unicorn.” He gave a bitter laugh, “I guess science is my soulmate. It gives me purpose, makes me strive to better myself, gives me satisfaction. Isn’t that the definition of a soulmate?”
John hesitated before answering, with a sheepish look on his face, “A soulmate should understand and accept every part of you, Rodney. Faults aren’t ignored, they are known but accepted and loved as part of your whole.” He finished with an embarrassed shrug.
The native nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes, exactly Colonel Sheppard.” She turned back to Rodney. “Your soulmate has found and accepted you many times before, and I am confident they will do so again.”
Rodney just gave a tight smile and continued eating his meal in silence, as John watched on from the side with worry gently furrowing his brow.
Daliya watched in silence for a moment, her eyes gently flicking over Rodney’s face as he tried to ignore her. After a moment she nodded to herself, as if an agreement was made and, with a brief request to excuse herself, she left the table and trotted across the village towards the meditation hut.
Rodney watched her leave. He could feel John watching him but didn’t want to continue on the same conversation, so tried to move it on to something else, “I’m surprised Ronon isn’t here yet, I would have thought he would be here within seconds of the pork being served.”
“He’s on the far side of the forest today, he should be back shortly. I’m sure he’ll run the last few miles when he smells the pork. He’ll want to get here before you eat it all,” John joked.
“Ha, ha.” Rodney responded sarcastically. “The natives like that I appreciate their cooking. That’s one thing they don't need any help with.”
“Karmani.”
“What?” Rodney asked, around a mouthful of the delicious pork.
“Karmani, they’re called Karmani, not natives.”
“There aren’t any Karmani at this end of the table, so I don’t see that it matters. Besides, if my scientists hear me calling them by their proper name, they might get jealous.”
This seemed to startle a laugh out of John, “True, true. Can’t have that, the scientists might expect the same measure of respect.”
The laugh made Rodney smile in response. He liked that he could make John laugh, so few people seemed to be able to, although each one sounded like a surprise, like John was surprised he still could. It gave Rodney butterflies in his stomach. He was aware that he found John attractive when he first met him, but had realised almost immediately it wasn’t going to go further than his own initial reaction.
He had thought little of John in those early days, thinking that they would only interact at a basic level, when John’s gene would be required to activate technology that Rodney was working on. Truly, in those early days, that’s all there was to their interactions. John was always pleasant, seemingly respectful of Rodney’s intelligence, often seeking him out, but only to ask questions that the SGC 101 introduction video had stirred up but failed to answer. Although, Rodney’s pretty sure John is the only person in SGC who wanted to know if any aliens had invented a flux capacitor. John never reacted to his acerbic nature with anything more than sarcasm, and never attacking, more than often smiling instead.
It was when they stepped foot on Atlantis it all changed, like it was Atlantis herself who brought them together, from that first moment they travelled up the stairs together. John still choosing to seek answers from Rodney, most likely because he gave the best answers and was never wrong. The fast paced chaos that ensued, only brought them closer together and, by the time Atlantis was breaking the surface under a new sun, Rodney found he had a friend, a true friend. Not just a close colleague, or passing ships mutually gaining something from the other, a true friend who would prove to remain so. He trusted John almost from the beginning, trusted John not only to keep him safe both inside and outside of Atlantis, but not to turn on him if he didn’t get something in return, not to leave him behind.
Rodney had become aware lately that his appreciation of John’s natural good looks had grown to become an actual attraction. That from time to time he wondered what a kiss against John’s mouth would taste like, what his hair would feel like in his fingertips, and if his skin would be warm and smooth under them. Rodney was aware that the attraction was one sided, and found he didn’t mind that much, regretted it yes, but Rodney just liked being in John’s company, liked to make him laugh, see him happy and that was enough.
Rodney just hoped it remained that way, he didn’t want it to develop further, didn’t want to make a fool of himself or risk John discovering that he found the Colonel attractive. He wasn’t sure their easy friendship could survive that, and it was the most precious thing to him. Not that he’d admit it, but then with John he wouldn’t have to. They were both as bad as each other when it came to declarations, and yet they didn’t need them with each other, both aware that their friendship was as strong and as important to the other as it was with themselves. This was why Rodney tramped down on these butterflies, trying to stem the growing sentiment.
“I try never to show a scientist respect, Colonel. It makes them complacent,” Rodney answered deadpan, but unable to stop the corner of his mouth turning up in a lopsided grin.
John chuckled beside him. “I’m pretty sure most of my CO’s went to the same school of thought as you, Rodney.”
Rodney knew it wasn’t aimed at him, but he heard the edge of bitterness in John’s tones and just had to fix it. “I doubt it. I suspect most of your CO’s couldn’t get in the same school as me, even as a gardener.” He didn’t used to register the subtle feelings of others, and wouldn’t normally have cared if he did. Even now it was only in his team that he sometimes caught them and cared to do anything about them, and only in John that he never failed to miss them.
John shook his head, “Nice to see you’re keeping that ego of yours under control,” he said with a smirk as he reached for his drink, raising it up towards Rodney. “Don’t ever change, Rodney.”
“Why would I?” Rodney asked, appreciating the twinkle that had returned to John’s eyes. “It took me a lifetime to perfect this genius.”
John nearly spat out the gulp of drink he had just taken, struggling to swallow it down before he allowed himself to laugh. “More than just the one if Daylia is to be believed.”
Rodney huffed. “Why are all the peaceful natives into insane theories?” He lamented
“Rodney!” John whispered harshly. “Precisely, these natives are nice. So, please, for me, try not to insult them where they can hear you, okay? I really don’t think I could make a run on the gate after the plate of pork I had.”
Rodney waved a hand at the request, somehow signalling reluctant agreement, before replying, “Plate of pork?? Please, my niece could eat more than that. I’m pretty sure there’s a sparrow over there that thinks you’re fasting.”
John gave him a fake glare, “Well some of us have certain fitness levels to maintain. You try following Ronon around on a morning run and you’ll realise you have to watch what you eat.”
Rodney leaned towards him and whispered, “I’ll let you in on a secret. You’re the military commander, you don’t have to go on runs if you don’t want to.”
John huffed, “Yes, I am aware of that. I also remember just how little my respect was for those CO’s that didn’t even attempt to pull their own weight. I figure I can sacrifice seconds of blue pork, even if it is delicious. Besides, all the more for you and Ronon. You’d best save him some or he might make you go on a run in the morning.”
Rodney stopped, his hand freezing as it gripped the platter of pork, as he turned to John, “You don’t really think he would, do you?”
John gave a shrug, that his eyebrows felt the need to join in on, “I don’t know. He has got a vindictive streak.”
Just as Rodney was deciding how serious John was, a tanned meaty hand took the platter and the decision out of his hands. “Take it the pork is good?” Ronon asked as he tipped the rest of it onto a plate, taking Daylia’s place opposite Rodney.
“How’d you know that was the best plate on the table?” Rodney asked out of curiosity, a little of the regret he felt at the loss of it entering his voice.
“You were reaching for it. You’ve got good taste in food,” Ronon said as he stuck a forkful of pork in his mouth, before grinning widely at Rodney.
Rodney frowned at him. That sounded like a compliment, but he wasn’t quite sure. He was still figuring Ronon out. He’d figured out that he liked Ronon and could trust him, just sometimes he wondered how much was innocent remark, and how much was sarcasm. It had taken Teyla years to be confident enough to issue her first sarcastic comment, but Rodney was starting to suspect that Ronon was a natural.
TBC ......... Chapter Two