Sho's Confession
I wrote this for Sho not too long ago. Decided to post it since my stomach woke me up.
How many times have I stood over you Eiji? I've lost count. You and Kayin. I've always been over you both, haven't I? Not that I want to be but it’s your own faults. Wondering if I should kill you for it.
There have been some many times I've almost taken your life. The very first time you were little and had invaded my bed after some idiotic nightmare. And the latest, well, You should never have come for me.
I'm not the man I once was... no... pretended to be. I know it would hurt you to know, but I don't care that your my brother. I don't care that Kayin, he thinks of me as a ‘friend.’ It’s almost laughable how shameless you two are. You are nothing but former pupils and very poor ones at that.
I let you keep the Byakko katana. Do you know why? No, you don’t, do you. Allow me to explain.
I am a wanted man, Eiji. I've been hunted by everyone--even you and Kayin followed me to the Toshindaibukai. So long as I am as I am, those that hunt me will believe that this "deadly" katana I hold is the Byakko. Only you and Kayin know the truth. I left Byakko with you to keep it clean, while I brutally murder them. When I've eradicated every and anyone who would rebuild the Himitsu Kessha, I’ll take it from you.
Did you think your words would make me return to your home? That reminding me of our shared heritage would bring me back? I have no home and I will never be at peace. Leave me, Eiji, look into my eyes, hate me for what I've done. Forget me and go home.
I don't want forgiveness for what I've done. If that were what I wanted, don't you think I would have asked Kayin to forgive me for killing his father, Amoh? Wouldn't I have begged your forgiveness for leaving you? Stop shadowing me or I'll destroy you.
Understand that. I don't want to harm you but I will if you persist. Return to Emi and make a family or something. I’m never going to understand you and you can never understand me.
Why did I kill Master and Uranus? Sport maybe? That's another question I can't answer for you. There was a sense of respite and remorse when they fell to my sword. I don't regret killing them--relished it really--but I wish they had been stronger been a bit more worthy of my sword. Pity, really.
What do I want? I'm not sure. For now I'm just wondering while I kill. Perhaps I'm looking for death. Maybe he's running from me. If he is I will adore the day I catch him. I've many questions for that sly being and only he can answer them.