This one's for Christy...
Christy, you asked people to update, so here's an update...just for you.
I guess I should start with the reason I haven't updated in awhile. I'd like to say it was because I've been busy lately...and yea, that's part of it...but truthfully...I just haven't felt like myself lately. And I know people have noticed this. At school just the other day...Joan came up to me and asked me what was wrong...the first time anyone acknowledged the fact that I've been smiling less than usual.
So much is going on in my life right now. So many issues...family, friends, relationships, money, school, work...I'm stressed...and maybe even depressed.
You see. The people I hang out with...the people who know me the most...they know my smile. Because I always seem to have one. To them, I'm always happy. And if I'm not happy...they notice. Like Joan noticed on Friday; and she said to me, she said, 'You just think you're happy, when deep down, your hiding how you truly feel.' Or at least something along those lines. And she's right. I hide behind a smile. I've done it for so long...I guess I've finally fooled myself.
When I was younger I'd be my normal happy self. But I'd also show my emotions...if I was sad, I'd act sad, mad, I'd act mad. But I noticed, I noticed how the people around me would react. They'd either get mad at me, tell me things like 'crying won't help' or 'don't cry or I will to,' that or they'd worry about me. I didn't want that. And I thought my emotions effect other's emotions. So I told myself...no matter what...I'll be happy, I'll be happy so they can be happy...so they won't get upset with me or worry about me.
So I did. I'd bottle everything up inside...and smile.
Then, I got older. And wiser. High school rolled around and my life at home got rough, plus I faced the feelings of losing close family members for the first time. Emotions slipped...and friends were there. That's when I began to learn that the people around me, my friends, they just wanted to help. Help me get through my troubles. They weren't mad at me. But they did worry...but only because they wanted to be sure I'd be okay. To be happy...just as I want them to be. And someone finally told me 'It's okay to cry.' So I did. And it did help.
Freshman year...I really think I began to express myself after that. But lately...I think I may have went back to my old ways...of hiding things and crying alone...in a dark corner of a room in my house.
But don't worry, at least not alot...if people are beginning to notice...I must be getting better. I was able to express myself here after all.
I hung out with Joan and Carolyn the other night and had a blast! The mall, seeing old friends, ice cream, just talking. And it really helped. It's nice to know I'll always have friends to help me through everything...and to teach me things,like, the only way they can help is for me to truly be myself and not hide behind a mask. I'm so thankful for all of my friends for being so great and understanding...you're wonderful, and I'm glad I'm able to know you. *Hugs*
Heh, Christy, I'm so sorry for such an 'un-Shannon-like-happy-go-lucky-entry,' but I'm sure you'll understand. And don't worry. Lol, this isn't the end of it. I'm typing more. So, after all the 'depressing-like' issues, you'll get some 'happier' stuff to end with. Not gonna leave everyone worried eh. ^-^
So, I'll start with school.
A-Days I have Child Development with seems pretty cool so far. In the same class with Hope. Then 2nd period I have 2-D Design. I love it! A class where I just draw! Perfect! I love art. 3rd period stinks however. Mrs. B with Architectural Design...grrr. Anyway, 4th period is Applied Nutrition...food...yay! ^-^
B-Days I start off with Economy. Pretty simple so far. Not doing to much. Next is Accounting however...and that's gonna stink, I know it. I didn't like it last year...so I'm pretty sure I'm not this year to. 3rd period is English...blah...but Chelsey and Carolyn are in there with me; and finally AP Psychology. Awesome class! In there with Chelsey, Puppy, and Lucas.
I think I like A-Days best. Simple, laid back...yea. Lol! ^-^
Other than that, I don't know what Drama is gonna be like this year...but the Anime Club is gonna be awesome! So many people and Mr. G and Mr. C are great! It's gonna be good.
Next, this weekend...I need to work on a presentation for the Multicultural Club for Nelly so she can present it to Mrs. Coin in hopes she'll sponsor it. Lucas will probably be coming over tomorrow and he offered to helped. ^-^ After that, we'll probably go exploring and search for stuff for my Halloween costume, since I'm gonna be Velma in a Scooby Doo theme with some friends. Yay! ^-^
Ok, today. Lol. Today I went to play bingo with my mom, aunt, Jessica, and my grandmother. It was a fund raiser type event to raise money for Boomer, a young boy with a type of cancer. We were told he's getting better everyday.
So, we played bingo. We didn't win any of the prized but it doesn't matter. Just knowing that being there was actually helping a child...it made me feel real good about myself. And I had a good time anyway. I wouldn't mind doing it all again. ^-^
I did find out a friend of the family, Mr. Cliff is in the hospital however. They think he had a heart attack. I'm pretty sure he's ok now but if you all could just pray/send your thoughts his way...it'd be great. And thanks. ^-^ Mr. Cliff is cool.
Now, Friday. Things started out rough but ended okay. Went to the mall and saw Kenny. I haven't seen him in awhile. It was nice...even if it was short. He's changed so much...yea. Anyway, after that, Joan, Carolyn, and I went to Friendly's for ice cream...then dinner. Lol! Then from there...on route 100 Carolyn tried to get me to run into a bunch of trees. I didn't and made it safely to Joan's, where we hung out for awhile. Met her aunt and roommate. Nice people; I liked em. ^-^ And Joan's dogs are sweet too! I wuv em! ^-^
But we hung out there and told some crazy stories about our lives and the people in em. Learned some silly things about Kenny and heard some creepy true tales about ghost/spirit encounters as well.
It was the first time I ever really hung out/talked with Joan. She's an awesome friend, who really listens and understands. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out being one of my best friends. One of the friends I actually hang out with on a weekend bases (think Lucas, Carolyn, Chelsey...).
Carolyn spent the night and we worked on our one act. It's so funny! Well...we think it is.
Then Lucas called and we ended up talking for a good while. I like talking to Lucas. He listen's too. Not to mention he gives awesome advice to things...and really tries to help you think things through. And he's always good for a laugh. Some of my best memories were shared with him. We always have the craziest 'adventures.' So, more memories are yet to come...crazy as ever too. ^-^
Well, guess that's it. It's a lot, and I'm sorry. But hey, Christy said she wanted an update, she got it. As for the rest of you...I haven't updated in awhile and had a lot on my mind. Heh, yea...well...I'm done now. So...night all!
I guess I should start with the reason I haven't updated in awhile. I'd like to say it was because I've been busy lately...and yea, that's part of it...but truthfully...I just haven't felt like myself lately. And I know people have noticed this. At school just the other day...Joan came up to me and asked me what was wrong...the first time anyone acknowledged the fact that I've been smiling less than usual.
So much is going on in my life right now. So many issues...family, friends, relationships, money, school, work...I'm stressed...and maybe even depressed.
You see. The people I hang out with...the people who know me the most...they know my smile. Because I always seem to have one. To them, I'm always happy. And if I'm not happy...they notice. Like Joan noticed on Friday; and she said to me, she said, 'You just think you're happy, when deep down, your hiding how you truly feel.' Or at least something along those lines. And she's right. I hide behind a smile. I've done it for so long...I guess I've finally fooled myself.
When I was younger I'd be my normal happy self. But I'd also show my emotions...if I was sad, I'd act sad, mad, I'd act mad. But I noticed, I noticed how the people around me would react. They'd either get mad at me, tell me things like 'crying won't help' or 'don't cry or I will to,' that or they'd worry about me. I didn't want that. And I thought my emotions effect other's emotions. So I told myself...no matter what...I'll be happy, I'll be happy so they can be happy...so they won't get upset with me or worry about me.
So I did. I'd bottle everything up inside...and smile.
Then, I got older. And wiser. High school rolled around and my life at home got rough, plus I faced the feelings of losing close family members for the first time. Emotions slipped...and friends were there. That's when I began to learn that the people around me, my friends, they just wanted to help. Help me get through my troubles. They weren't mad at me. But they did worry...but only because they wanted to be sure I'd be okay. To be happy...just as I want them to be. And someone finally told me 'It's okay to cry.' So I did. And it did help.
Freshman year...I really think I began to express myself after that. But lately...I think I may have went back to my old ways...of hiding things and crying alone...in a dark corner of a room in my house.
But don't worry, at least not alot...if people are beginning to notice...I must be getting better. I was able to express myself here after all.
I hung out with Joan and Carolyn the other night and had a blast! The mall, seeing old friends, ice cream, just talking. And it really helped. It's nice to know I'll always have friends to help me through everything...and to teach me things,like, the only way they can help is for me to truly be myself and not hide behind a mask. I'm so thankful for all of my friends for being so great and understanding...you're wonderful, and I'm glad I'm able to know you. *Hugs*
Heh, Christy, I'm so sorry for such an 'un-Shannon-like-happy-go-lucky-entry,' but I'm sure you'll understand. And don't worry. Lol, this isn't the end of it. I'm typing more. So, after all the 'depressing-like' issues, you'll get some 'happier' stuff to end with. Not gonna leave everyone worried eh. ^-^
So, I'll start with school.
A-Days I have Child Development with seems pretty cool so far. In the same class with Hope. Then 2nd period I have 2-D Design. I love it! A class where I just draw! Perfect! I love art. 3rd period stinks however. Mrs. B with Architectural Design...grrr. Anyway, 4th period is Applied Nutrition...food...yay! ^-^
B-Days I start off with Economy. Pretty simple so far. Not doing to much. Next is Accounting however...and that's gonna stink, I know it. I didn't like it last year...so I'm pretty sure I'm not this year to. 3rd period is English...blah...but Chelsey and Carolyn are in there with me; and finally AP Psychology. Awesome class! In there with Chelsey, Puppy, and Lucas.
I think I like A-Days best. Simple, laid back...yea. Lol! ^-^
Other than that, I don't know what Drama is gonna be like this year...but the Anime Club is gonna be awesome! So many people and Mr. G and Mr. C are great! It's gonna be good.
Next, this weekend...I need to work on a presentation for the Multicultural Club for Nelly so she can present it to Mrs. Coin in hopes she'll sponsor it. Lucas will probably be coming over tomorrow and he offered to helped. ^-^ After that, we'll probably go exploring and search for stuff for my Halloween costume, since I'm gonna be Velma in a Scooby Doo theme with some friends. Yay! ^-^
Ok, today. Lol. Today I went to play bingo with my mom, aunt, Jessica, and my grandmother. It was a fund raiser type event to raise money for Boomer, a young boy with a type of cancer. We were told he's getting better everyday.
So, we played bingo. We didn't win any of the prized but it doesn't matter. Just knowing that being there was actually helping a child...it made me feel real good about myself. And I had a good time anyway. I wouldn't mind doing it all again. ^-^
I did find out a friend of the family, Mr. Cliff is in the hospital however. They think he had a heart attack. I'm pretty sure he's ok now but if you all could just pray/send your thoughts his way...it'd be great. And thanks. ^-^ Mr. Cliff is cool.
Now, Friday. Things started out rough but ended okay. Went to the mall and saw Kenny. I haven't seen him in awhile. It was nice...even if it was short. He's changed so much...yea. Anyway, after that, Joan, Carolyn, and I went to Friendly's for ice cream...then dinner. Lol! Then from there...on route 100 Carolyn tried to get me to run into a bunch of trees. I didn't and made it safely to Joan's, where we hung out for awhile. Met her aunt and roommate. Nice people; I liked em. ^-^ And Joan's dogs are sweet too! I wuv em! ^-^
But we hung out there and told some crazy stories about our lives and the people in em. Learned some silly things about Kenny and heard some creepy true tales about ghost/spirit encounters as well.
It was the first time I ever really hung out/talked with Joan. She's an awesome friend, who really listens and understands. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out being one of my best friends. One of the friends I actually hang out with on a weekend bases (think Lucas, Carolyn, Chelsey...).
Carolyn spent the night and we worked on our one act. It's so funny! Well...we think it is.
Then Lucas called and we ended up talking for a good while. I like talking to Lucas. He listen's too. Not to mention he gives awesome advice to things...and really tries to help you think things through. And he's always good for a laugh. Some of my best memories were shared with him. We always have the craziest 'adventures.' So, more memories are yet to come...crazy as ever too. ^-^
Well, guess that's it. It's a lot, and I'm sorry. But hey, Christy said she wanted an update, she got it. As for the rest of you...I haven't updated in awhile and had a lot on my mind. Heh, yea...well...I'm done now. So...night all!