Bleh
Uhhhhhh going back in time..readygo. xD
Friday- OMG !#()*$@)#(*$@*# me and mary went to Walmart!! haha YESH!! the whitetrash pliizaacee and it's way out in the boons. but shit I love wal mart i spent like 126$ there...but I got like...a dvd a cd pants 2 shirts a lamp, brushups, a wallet and like hella other shit it was bomb. Then we saw this woman giving a man a hand job...we were both on our rags so we were being bitches to the drive through people...and yelling at people in the parking lot. I can't wait to drive...it's gonna be nice so i don't have to depend on other people driving me. My brother feels like he drives me everywhere but w/e. anyway so we went shopping there for most of the day, chilled, watched fightclub which is so overrated, but I guess I got the whole twist half way in the movie. Damn rosie odonell and her book. Chelsea came over friday night and we went to targeeeeeeeeet yessshhh. We got those memory pillows ...they are fucking miracle workers...I never wake up <333 and only 20 $ we got black pillow cases that we wanted to put puff paint and irons so we planned to go to michaels afterwards but they were closed. damn. but anyway I got hella shit at target too. like 2 pillows, (20) a new cover for my feather blanket (100) connie and carla (20) and slippers. so it was hella money but i havee hella bank so it's ok.
Saturday: My dad got us jamba juice. then chelsea left for her neices. I hung around the house and went to go see Farenheit 9/11 with my mom. Which was utterly humiliating. She needs a makeover. damn her and her boobie high shorts which her jungle visor..it makes me want to cry. But at least the movies are dark and no one goes to the new cinearts theatres. they are nice though I like em' anyway It was a good movie. I hated Bush already but I agree with people that it is really one sided, but it's so easily to make bush look like a big fucking moron. I cried the first 5 minutes...:'[ Oh well. So we go home, mom gets fajitas from chevys and then chelsea comes back....oh yah and I went to michaels after the movie and got alot of crap. I made wire bracelets they're cool. I liekkk it xD so we decorated them...then there was hella drama...not even worth talking about, but was amusing and made a lame saturday night slightly interesting and worthwhile. SO justine calls and we're all talking and shit...and then I guess she hears michael hugging chelsea and was like "jessica needs to go in there and check her man," and I was like "why don't you check your man" prolly shouldnt have said anything but she starts bitching "chelseas a whore..." yadda yadda so i said "i dont really want to talk about this right now" and she says "why?" so i just hang up. I hate how she puts me in the middle of it. It's like fine you have a problem with chelsea--errrrrr wait The whole thing started cause i guess chelsea slapped marios ass, which she does to everyone and he felt uncomfortable with that, considered it flirting and went home and told his gf...Chelsea doesn't consider it flirting, nor do i...so i was thinking, Uh..Ok.. so justine said she was a whore...blah blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. They don't like eachother, because justine called chelsea a drama bitch... think it's hilarious because chelsea could careless and justine is like CHELSEA IS A WHORE A WHORE I HAVE ALL RIGHT TO CALL HER THAT. dude no one wants her mahng. the whole thing is lame. But it's fucking stupid and immature of justine. so mario thinks its his fault and it's not. It's a miss communication and missunderstanding on all parts, Then Michael says well Chelsea flirts alot then I told george about it and he says she flirts with anything with a dick....Michael intiates their flirting, and George doesn't know shit about chelsea except that she has an attitude, but justine chose to be immature about it and cause a scene. Whatever, i'm over it, tried to call her to straighten it out, but I guess she is giving me the cold shoulder, like i care. She is addicted to mario, they hang out every fucking day...and she's about to tell me it's not like it was in 8th grade? Whata fatty fat stick joke. so hopefully she'll get over it, but I'm not gonna put up with this anyway, i'm suppose to stand up for her? So what...i tell chelsea, 'ya chels, you really are a whore' whatever. it's lame. im over it.
Monday: kat and I went to santana row to see farenheit 9/11 she liked, but agrees with me. We went to yankee peir for dinner, I had a shrimp salad, which was OK but looked like shit. I don't really like fancy food. so they dropped me off, talked to kat a little....then went to bed
Tooooday: I woke up, chilled a bit, waited for my bro to leave then ran a mile on the tredmill. then did crunches and someother weird leg thingies i always do i don't even think they have a name. but anyway yah and then i chilled here then my brother picked me up for my family therapy appt. we talked about how women, like my mother are burdened with so much today. He says the 'healing' must start by us appologizing to my mother for judging her. Well I know he is right with all the shit they have to deal with as mothers, But appologizing? for judging her? I had all right to judge her. Fuck I didn't even know her untill i was l12, She was always working, and when i was 12 she started drinking, I have all rights to judge her...and appologizing..well I guess I wanna know for what? Why should I applogize for judging her? She has a family, she knows the diff between right and wrong, she picked alcohol over her family. is that what i'm appologizing for? well, fuck that. And yet she still drinks. I think I made her feel bad when I told her I couldn't applogize...because I felt I had a right to judge her and she just looked away...She is in denial of the pain she has caused. Of course, I know the difference between right and wrong, and that didn't stop me, but I've also been through alot. So when is the peanut gallery going to appologize to me? For judging me? It's realistic, my therapist is stuck in the 1800's. Problems+Fastfood=America...That's about it. He is sucha space case, but i guess we can all have our opinion of how people should live. whatever though...Here is a poem i wrote...I like it.
Twisting your arm to start it
Glass is flowing in your blood
Brushing up each mistake to find
You can't paint over time
Rolling your eyes to erase your pain
Taking everyones name in vein
Ignorance is your favorite bliss
So tell me can you handle it
Lemon squeezed in your wound
Screaming to get away from yourself
Scratching your eyes out so you can't see
That your only what you have made yourself to be
Are you elated with your mouth full of shit
Full of words but you can't spit
Cold eyes staring into black
You ruined yourself baby
Warm eyes staring back
And you call yourself a fucking lady