Round 1 - AU - High School / Kris is a foster kid
Title: Home
Author: writefiction
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG-13 (or the lightest R ever)
Warning: Mentions of abuse and drug use
P.O.V.: First Person, Adam Lambert, then Kris Allen (clearly marked)
Word Count: 3,068
Notes: written for Round One of the paintedboys Bi-Weekly Prompt... Also the song is "I Look at You" by Miley Cyrus
Prompt: Alternate Universe in which Kris is a foster kid and starts in the high school setting
Summary: There were always kids coming and going from the Lambert house. Mr. and Mrs. Lambert had two sons of their own but also enjoyed being registered foster parents. Along the way they pick up Kristopher Allen, a 15 year old with a chip on his shoulder, a mystery to all who meet him with one exception: his foster brother Adam Lambert.
ADAM's POV
I find Kris sitting in a secluded stairwell of our high school, strumming absently at his guitar as the first bell rings.
“I told you I’d give you a ride,” I say sitting one step lower than him.
“Didn’t want one,” Kris mutters.
“You’re a hard nut to crack, you know that, Allen?” I tease with a smile.
Kris carefully lays his guitar, his most precious possession, in it’s vintage velvet-lined case and scoots to the edge of the step he’s sitting on. He puts a leg on either side of my hips and leans forward to wrap his arms around me.
I sigh quietly, closing my eyes in content. Kris nuzzles my neck lightly. Then he lays soft kisses against my jaw. I purr appreciatively. “Why have I let you put me back in the closet?”
Kris pulls away quickly, folding his arms over his chest. I curse inwardly.
“If you hate it so much, go back to what’s-his-face that was dry-humping you in the living room my first day in your house.” Kris then gets up, grabbing his guitar before storming off.
I lean back, running my hands through my hair. I’m not going to go after Kris, it’ll just set him off. Besides, he probably didn’t just leave the stairwell. He’s probably half-way across campus by now on his way back to our house.
I sigh. I’ll see Kris after school. After all, we do share a bedroom… and sometimes a bed. With another sigh I push myself up and head to homeroom as the last bell rings.
The day goes by slowly without Kris. It’s agonizing to be apart for so long. It’s even more painful to watch the clock slowly tick off the seconds till the final bell. When it finally rings, I jump from my seat, gathering my books and shoving them haphazardly into my bag. I just need to get out of here. I need to get home to my baby.
My tires squeal a little as I throw my car into park before it comes to a complete stop. I leap from the vehicle and race to the front door. I take the stairs two at a time, going up two flights to get to the attic bedroom where I stop in shock.
“Kris!” I exclaim.
Kris lifts his head from between the breasts of some unknown girl. “What?!” he asks sharply, glaring at me from over his shoulder. I can only shake my head, my eyes filling with tears. I cross my arms over my chest in an insecure fashion and stare down at the floor not knowing what else to do.
“You better go,” I hear Kris tell the girl quietly. I hear movement from the bed. Then what’s-her-name is sidling past me and down the stairs.
Once I hear the door at the bottom of the stairwell shut, I cross the room, throwing my bag on the floor on the way, and fling myself face first onto my bed. A moment later the mattress beside me sinks and I feel Kris’ hand card through my hair. The tears I was holding back begin to slip down my face.
But it’s not like this is anything new. Whenever Kris and I get into a fight he goes out and finds some willing girl to mess around with. But this is the first time he’s ever brought one into our bedroom.
“Talk to me,” Kris whispers, his hand rubbing my back.
“I don’t know which hurts more,” I tell him quietly. “The fact that you’re cheating, again, or that you brought that slut to our room.” I prop myself up on my elbow to look at my boyfriend. “This is our room, Kris. Our sacred space. I can’t even believe you crossed that line!”
Kris reaches out to wipe the tears from my cheeks. Then he leans in close to me, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m such a jerk,” he says. “Why do you even want me?”
“Don’t turn this around,” I tell him. “This is not a pity party for Kris; this one’s for me, got it?” The younger teen nods. “You are a jerk, but you’re the jerk I just so happen to love.” Kris lifts his head, looking into my eyes. “Why?” he whispers.
I lick my lips tasting the salt of my tears. “Does there have to be a reason?” I reply gently.
Kris looks down at the comforter. “It’s just… No one’s ever wanted me before, not like this. My mom wanted me for drugs, my dad wanted me for a punching bag, none of the other foster families kept me for more than a month.” He shrugs, then lifts his gaze to mine. “You’re the only one whose ever put up with my crap-behavior. You’re the only one whose ever just loved me and wanted nothing in return. I don’t get it.”
“Come ‘ere,” I murmur. Kris lays his body out next to mine as I turn on my side to face him. I wrap my arms around his slim waist and pull him close. “Listen to me,” I command gently. “You are an amazing person, Kris. There are so many reasons why I love you, but mostly it’s because you’re you.”
“Yeah? And who is that exactly? The abused, drug-running little boy who can’t come out of the closet even for the only person who’s ever truly wanted him?” he asks bitterly, his eyes tearing up.
“That’s not who I see,” I tell him. The brown-eyed teenager gives me an incredulous look. “I see someone who is an amazing guitarist with the voice of an angel. I see someone who’s been hurt greatly in his life by the people who are supposed to protect him, yet he’s still willing to trust a family of strangers.”
“You guys aren’t strangers,” Kris interrupts quietly.
“No, not now, but we were at one point,” I remind him. “I also see someone with the most beautiful heart and soul. Someone that can hurt me and push me away, but I can’t stay away from no matter how hard I try.”
“I’m sorry,” Kris whispers. “I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you. I just do and I don’t know why.” He sniffs and a tear rolls down his cheek. I’m the only one he lets see him cry. I’m the only one that can break down his tough exterior.
I kiss him softly, feeling his lips tremble against mine. “You are a beautiful man, Kristopher Allen, and I’m going to marry you some day.”
My boyfriend lifts his watery gaze to mine. “Promise?” he asks. “Promise you’ll want me for the rest of your life?”
“Of course,” I murmur.
Kris shakes his head. “No, I need you to promise, I need you to say the words.”
I cup the side of his face gently in my hand. “I promise you, Kris, that I’ll always want you and I’ll always love you. You’re my perfect fit.”
Kris surges forward, pressing his lips eagerly to mine. “I love you,” he mumbles into my mouth.
“Mm, I love you too,” I sigh.
We alternate between hard, fast kisses and slow, sweet ones. We giggle and moan like the horny teenagers we are as we strip each other of our shirts. Kris tangles his legs with mine, his fingers tugging at my hair. But then the door at the bottom of the stairs opens.
“Boys!” my mom calls up to us.
“Yeah?” I reply.
“Can you come down to the kitchen for a moment please?”
“Sure, Ma, we’ll be right down!”
We listen as the door closes, then burst into giggles.
“She has such bad timing,” Kris laughs.
“Oh my god, I know! It’s like she has a sixth sense or something.”
Still giggling and joking, we pull on our shirts and race each other down to the first floor. Upon entering the kitchen Kris stops short and I run into him, grabbing his shoulders to steady myself. “Whoa there, cowboy.” I notice then that Kris is tense, his whole body absolutely rigid. I follow his gaze to a pretty brunette.
It’s Cassandra, Kris’ social worker, and by the look on her face it’s not good.
I wrap my arms around Kris protectively. “Calm down,” I whisper in his ear. “We’re not giving you away.” I look up at my mother. “Ma, tell him. We’re not getting rid of him.” My mom’s eyes are tearful.
“Kris, I’m taking you to your father,” Cassandra says.
“No!” My boyfriend and I shout in unison.
“I’m sorry,” Cassandra replies. “But your dad has completed rehab, his anger management classes and parenting classes. The judge has already made his decision.”
“No!” Kris yells again. He starts to pull away from me and I know he’s going to bolt, so I tighten my grip on him.
“Please,” I murmur into his hair, my tears dripping onto his scalp. “Don’t run.”
Kris spins around, burying his face in my chest. “Don’t let her take me,” he whimpers. I hold the shorter boy as close as possible, not wanting to let him go, and look at my parents with pleading eyes. My mom looks like she could fall apart at any second. My dad, always the rock of the family, is the one to speak.
“Why don’t you two go upstairs and get Kris’ things together, yeah?” I know by the look in his eyes that there’s nothing we can do.
Kris sniffs loudly and pulls away from me, wiping his eyes. His jaw is clenched and he won’t meet anyone’s eyes. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to do this on my own,” he says. The pieces of my broken heart begin to splinter. He’s pushing me away.
My younger brother Neil helps Kris load his things into Cassandra’s car. I’m silent, just watching. Neil gives Kris a tight hug and then goes running into the house, tears streaming down his face. He had gotten really attached to Kris over the summer and Kris had always treated my little brother well.
My mother says a hurried goodbye and then goes off to check on Neil. Next is my dad. He’s trying not to show how badly this hurts. We’ve had many foster kids come and go from our house in my life, but this has to be the worst for all of us. I overheard my parents one night talking about wanting to adopt Kris. I guess their dreams have just been shattered.
When it’s my turn, I drag my feet. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want him to leave.
Kris hands me an envelope. “Don’t read this until I’m gone. Like, gone far enough that you can’t run after the car.”
I nod. “Okay.” Then there’s a beat of silence. “I’d kiss you goodbye if we weren’t standing out on the street.”
Kris bites his lip, his eyes staring into mine. “Fuck it,” he says and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s slow and sweet and I can’t tell if it’s my lips trembling or his.
The kiss ends too soon, but I know we don’t have all day. I hiccup, trying to hold back a sob. Kris wipes at the tears on my cheeks. “Shh,” he murmurs. “Shh. It’s going to be okay. I’ll come back for you.”
“Promise?” I ask him.
“I promise,” he whispers. “No matter how long it takes, I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be waiting,” I tell him.
“Promise?”
“Pinkie swear.”
Kris gives me one last chaste kiss before getting in the car. As the vehicle pulls out of the driveway I turn and run to the house; I can’t watch him leave. I sprint all the way up to the attic and throw myself down on Kris’ bed. I can smell him on the sheets. I crawl under the blankets, wrapping myself in his scent. Then I sob into his pillow.
When my eyes begin to hurt and the tears have run dry, I carefully open the envelope Kris had given me. There’s just one sheet of lined notebook paper folded neatly into thirds inside of it.
Dear Adam,
What can I say? If you’re feeling at all like I’m feeling than I know there’s nothing I can say to piece your heart back together. So I’m going to make this short: Look under my pillow. Yeah, I know you’re laying on my bed.
I can’t help smiling a little when I read that last sentence. I obey and feel around under the pillow. My fingers slide over something soft and fuzzy. I pull my hand out to find a small velvet box. I hold my breath as I slowly lift the lid.
When I see the shiny silver band laying inside the box, my eyes fill with tears. I gently pick it up between my fingers and just stare. I don’t know why I can’t take my eyes off of it, it’s just a simple silver ring. But something on the inside of the band catches my eye and I hold the jewelry up for a closer look. There’s an engraving on the inside of the ring. In a beautiful script it says, You feel like home.
I gasp, feeling like the wind has been knocked out of me. Just the other day Kris had told me that being a foster kid and moving from place to place, he never felt like he had a real home. When I asked him how he felt living with us, he just grinned and said I’d find out soon.
Slipping the ring onto my finger, I go back to the letter.
Two days from now would have marked six months in the Lambert home for me. It’s the longest I’ve ever stayed with a family. I thought I’d never leave. But things change and I just want you to know that no matter where I am, you are always home to me.
I promise to come back home someday.
I love you.
Kristopher
I lay my head back down on the pillow and pull the blankets around me tighter. What was I going to do without him? Could I really wait for “someday” to come? I sigh and close my eyes. I guess we’ll just have to see.
* * *
Ten Years Later…
-Kris’ POV-
I’ve made it to the second round of season eight on American Idol. It’s an amazing feeling. It’s my turn on stage and I’ve decided to do something different, I’ve decided to sing one of my own songs. I know American Idol is probably not the place to showcase something of this magnitude, but something inside me won’t let it go. I have to sing this song and I have to do it today.
“I wrote this song in high school when I lost someone who was very important to me.” Taking a deep breath I begin to strum my guitar.
“Everybody needs inspiration, everybody needs a song. A beautiful melody, when the nights are long. ‘Cause there is no guarantee, that this life is easy. Yeah when my world is falling apart. When there's no light, to break up the dark. That's when I… I… I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I… I… I look at you.
“When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth. You love me for who I am. Like the stars hold the moon, right there where they belong, and I know I'm not alone. Yeah when my world is falling apart. When there's no light, to break up the dark. That's when I… I… I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I… I… I look at you.
“You appear just like a dream to me. Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me. All I need, every breath that I breathe. Don't you know you're beautiful? Yeah, yeah. When the waves are flooding the shore, and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I… I… I look at you. I look at you. Yeah. Whoa-oh. You appear just like a dream to me.”
My eyes sting with unshed tears as the judges critique my singing and it’s not because of what they’re saying. It’s the song. I can’t believe I still get so emotional about it. But at least I’m able to hold the tears at bay while I’m still on stage.
I thank the judges and quickly make my way to the lobby where I almost run right into someone.
“Sorry,” I murmur staring down at my feet.
“S’okay,” they reply. “I had to get out of there before they started giving you their opinions.”
My breath catches in my throat at the sound of that voice. I slowly lift my gaze to find a face from the past staring down at me. “Adam,” I breathe.
“Hey, Arkansas,” he replies.
I drop my guitar case on the floor, hearing it land with a thud, and throw my arms around the taller man. “It’s really you,” I whisper, my eyes flooding with tears.
Adam gives me a squeeze and kisses my hair. “Yeah, babe, it’s really me.”
I pull back to look into his eyes; those baby blues that have haunted me for the past decade. I notice they’re wet with tears. I reach up to gently wipe them away. “What is it?” I ask quietly.
“You…” Adam sighs, “You feel like home.”
His words make me remember the promise ring I left under my pillow for him. I reach for his left hand and find the silver band still there after all these years. This time there’s no holding back the tears. The rain down my face, but for the first time in so long Adam is here to wipe them away.
I lean up onto my toes and gently press my mouth to his, briefly wondering if it’s his lips that are trembling or if it’s mine. “I love you, Adam,” I murmur. “I told you I’d come back.”
The classic Adam smirk twitches on his face. “You weren’t even looking.”
“And yet, here I am,” I reply with a grin. Then in a softer tone, “I’m finally home.”