still breathing.

[paint_my_starrs]

obviously, I'm still alive.
21 looks good on me.

toria broke up with me a few days before my birthday.
i didn't handle it well at first and lost yet another best friend.
but that was my choice to walk away.
there was just so much bad timing so there goes that chance.
i just don't know how to be patient; i know she's my soul mate.
i just hope she figures it out in this lifetime...

i'm officially psycho, but working on it.
still refusing to take pills, except for some pain killers.
i've been smoking more than ever.
in fact, i haven't been completely sober in over a month now.
not exactly something i'm proud of.
but it takes the edge off.

i leave in eight months.
i'll know in a couple weeks whether it's to tennessee or ohio.
either way, i've already got school and a job lined up.
i'm ready to go.
i'll have my associate's in may, then get my teaching certificate from wherever i go.

it's getting more apparent that i won't make it to 30.
that means that i have less than nine years to make my name.
i find out tomorrow whether or not i'm getting published.
and that's only the beginning.