R.I.P. Grandpa Boutwell
My mother's father passed away last Thursday....he was the last living grandfather I had. I am doing ok after being with my family over the weekend. My mom flew to Oklahoma yesterday for the funeral. It will be really good for her to see her family again for the next few days. She's lost two men closest to her only 3 years apart. The father of her youngest child passed away Thanksgiving 3 years ago. Now it is her father, only weeks before Christmas.
I suppose now is a good time for reflecting on childhood memories of my grandfather, even though I was never really close to him. I always think of the "could-have-been's" after someone dies. There really is no use in wondering and the only thing I can do now is focus on how I want to be remembered.
I had a dream that Helene wrote in her journal:
"Sheri stop worrying about that childhood notepad you never used..."
She wrote a lot more but that was one thing that stuck in my memory and I highly respected her for saying that. In my dream it was different and it shimmered on the screen but basically it means I shouldn't fear "filling up notebooks" and parting with things I've held onto for so long. I feel that I have to "save" things for the perfect moment but in the end I have all this stuff I've been hoarding for decades, un-used and collecting dust. I inherited this trait from my mother. My dad HATES holding onto things.
Well, so far I have Sarah, Helene, and C.H.'s packages almost ready. My Halloween gifts ended up turning into Christmas gifts due to my amazing procrastination skills ;P
I don't normally create wish lists for the holidays because I already have so much stuff I don't use but I adore handmade gifts, pictures, music, things I can use up (stationary, candles, stamps, cute band-aids, etc.)
I still think of you all everyday and will be "settling down" around Christmas time.
I suppose now is a good time for reflecting on childhood memories of my grandfather, even though I was never really close to him. I always think of the "could-have-been's" after someone dies. There really is no use in wondering and the only thing I can do now is focus on how I want to be remembered.
I had a dream that Helene wrote in her journal:
"Sheri stop worrying about that childhood notepad you never used..."
She wrote a lot more but that was one thing that stuck in my memory and I highly respected her for saying that. In my dream it was different and it shimmered on the screen but basically it means I shouldn't fear "filling up notebooks" and parting with things I've held onto for so long. I feel that I have to "save" things for the perfect moment but in the end I have all this stuff I've been hoarding for decades, un-used and collecting dust. I inherited this trait from my mother. My dad HATES holding onto things.
Well, so far I have Sarah, Helene, and C.H.'s packages almost ready. My Halloween gifts ended up turning into Christmas gifts due to my amazing procrastination skills ;P
I don't normally create wish lists for the holidays because I already have so much stuff I don't use but I adore handmade gifts, pictures, music, things I can use up (stationary, candles, stamps, cute band-aids, etc.)
I still think of you all everyday and will be "settling down" around Christmas time.