Ever get the feeling....
Anyone ever feel like they should be doing more with their life? Like you should get out and see more, do more, feel more, be more, etc?
I sleep all day because at night I have too much on my mind and it keeps me awake. I feel like I've failed in certain areas of my life and as much as I try to keep my head up, it really gets me down. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable everywhere I go. I don't feel like being anywhere at all. There are places where I felt I was home in previous times that don't feel like home anymore. I have a dwelling in which I live, but I am homesick. I feel out of place. Emotionally homeless.
Life has just become so seemingly trivial as of late. It's lost a lot of meaning within the past couple of weeks. Seems like all I do is work, sleep, play guitar, and check e-mail and think. I sometimes wish I could turn the thinking function off. I feel like the most boring person on earth. An then that feeling gets me to thinking some more.
HopeFearSelfHateAngerDispairFrustrationRegretsMemoriesHopeHopeHopeDoubtAnxietyUnderstandingConfusionUnderstandingConfusionThinkThinkThinkGoddamnWhyCan'tIstopThinking
Everything just runs together
I feel like I need to do something different. Something exciting and worth talking about. Something impressive and somewhat spontaneous. Something besides this droning day to day routine that has been wearing down on me and my relationships with other people. My life right now doesn't really have anything worth discussing going on. All I have to discuss are my misfortunes with life, which people get tired of, and my daily activities, which no one gives a crap about. No one gives a crap about some customer who came in and complained about a scratched disc. No one cares about what song I'm learning on guitar, or what I'm writing. No one cares about what video I saw on youtube or what someone said to me in an e-mail. There's just not even anything worth mentioning because it's all just a bunch of stupid frivolous crap. And when it's not stupid frivolous crap....it doesn't mean anything to anyone else but myself.
I want to go to an empty beach, but that isn't possible right now. I need to get away for awhile and do something worthwhile so I can feel like I have SOME kind of purpose for existing besides dying. I don't like feeling like I was born just to die.
I sleep all day because at night I have too much on my mind and it keeps me awake. I feel like I've failed in certain areas of my life and as much as I try to keep my head up, it really gets me down. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable everywhere I go. I don't feel like being anywhere at all. There are places where I felt I was home in previous times that don't feel like home anymore. I have a dwelling in which I live, but I am homesick. I feel out of place. Emotionally homeless.
Life has just become so seemingly trivial as of late. It's lost a lot of meaning within the past couple of weeks. Seems like all I do is work, sleep, play guitar, and check e-mail and think. I sometimes wish I could turn the thinking function off. I feel like the most boring person on earth. An then that feeling gets me to thinking some more.
HopeFearSelfHateAngerDispairFrustrationRegretsMemoriesHopeHopeHopeDoubtAnxietyUnderstandingConfusionUnderstandingConfusionThinkThinkThinkGoddamnWhyCan'tIstopThinking
Everything just runs together
I feel like I need to do something different. Something exciting and worth talking about. Something impressive and somewhat spontaneous. Something besides this droning day to day routine that has been wearing down on me and my relationships with other people. My life right now doesn't really have anything worth discussing going on. All I have to discuss are my misfortunes with life, which people get tired of, and my daily activities, which no one gives a crap about. No one gives a crap about some customer who came in and complained about a scratched disc. No one cares about what song I'm learning on guitar, or what I'm writing. No one cares about what video I saw on youtube or what someone said to me in an e-mail. There's just not even anything worth mentioning because it's all just a bunch of stupid frivolous crap. And when it's not stupid frivolous crap....it doesn't mean anything to anyone else but myself.
I want to go to an empty beach, but that isn't possible right now. I need to get away for awhile and do something worthwhile so I can feel like I have SOME kind of purpose for existing besides dying. I don't like feeling like I was born just to die.