who has the miracle cure?
So it's 11:55 and I'm back at school and my first class of the semester is 9:30 tomorrow. I just wanna take a moment to actually let myself feel. I've been trying to deny it for the past few days, and that obviously hasn't been working out so well. I feel so out of it, blah, awkward, introverted. Which overall doesn't make sense because before coming back I missed my friends so so much and could've wait to be back in Delaware, my home, again. But now that I'm here and everything around me is exactly as it was, I feel weird. Instead of wanting to talk and laugh with my friends, I find myself wanting to be alone just to think or to read or write.
Marisa says it's normal to feel weird during transitions, even familiar ones. She used to use cleaning her room as an excuse to excommunicate everyone from her life for just a few days. But when your room is "the room" that everyone hangs out in, it's impossible to be alone. I'm afraid my friends are going to think I've changed and become freakishly antisocial. I hoping this is just some weird phase that I'll get over in a few days. It's just mindblowing to think that I was just in Israel 4 days ago. I know this is incredibly immature but I think I'm just even bothered that a lot of my friends (no one specific but just overall) don't really seem to care to learn more about my trip, despite the fact I told them that this was the most amazing and life changing experience. I guess I expected them to want to see pictures, hear stories...I don't know. I told them that I wanted to hear all about their breaks and they just said that they didn't have much to tell. That's understandable. But I guess I just wanted to share my happiness with others.
And overall I just can't stop thinking about reality. It's fascinating how you hear all those cliche's when coming to college about what will happen with your friends. I hate saying that's it's true, but sadly it is. Some of the people who I used to have deep conversations with on a daily basis are not even apart of my life anymore. I feel as though I could try to talk to some of these people, but conversation would end up empty with blank stares and long pauses. I really don't understand why. I don't think I've changed that much and neither have they. We just live different lives now.
For the first time in months and months I have so much more on my mind to share. But class is on the horizon. Maybe the only medicine for blank-ness is sleep.
Marisa says it's normal to feel weird during transitions, even familiar ones. She used to use cleaning her room as an excuse to excommunicate everyone from her life for just a few days. But when your room is "the room" that everyone hangs out in, it's impossible to be alone. I'm afraid my friends are going to think I've changed and become freakishly antisocial. I hoping this is just some weird phase that I'll get over in a few days. It's just mindblowing to think that I was just in Israel 4 days ago. I know this is incredibly immature but I think I'm just even bothered that a lot of my friends (no one specific but just overall) don't really seem to care to learn more about my trip, despite the fact I told them that this was the most amazing and life changing experience. I guess I expected them to want to see pictures, hear stories...I don't know. I told them that I wanted to hear all about their breaks and they just said that they didn't have much to tell. That's understandable. But I guess I just wanted to share my happiness with others.
And overall I just can't stop thinking about reality. It's fascinating how you hear all those cliche's when coming to college about what will happen with your friends. I hate saying that's it's true, but sadly it is. Some of the people who I used to have deep conversations with on a daily basis are not even apart of my life anymore. I feel as though I could try to talk to some of these people, but conversation would end up empty with blank stares and long pauses. I really don't understand why. I don't think I've changed that much and neither have they. We just live different lives now.
For the first time in months and months I have so much more on my mind to share. But class is on the horizon. Maybe the only medicine for blank-ness is sleep.