(no subject)
this isn't finished. i don't write much anymore. i don't know why. i always feel empty when i cant write. but i don't know what to write about anymore.
when did I decide to put a bag over my head
and plaster it with paint
as to hide what's underneath?
since when have I felt the need
to run from the mirror?
it must be because I know my reflection
won't smile back at me.
what made me think I could change the world
when I can't even change my own mentality?
I don't understand
where have I disappeared to?
Where did this black hole come from
that has swallowed me whole?
eating away at my light, leaving
nothing.
maybe my name tag just fell off
and has crawled under the bed into the darkness
I'm a blank slate without it
I need to be someone again
I'm a butterfly
that has retrogressed back to a cacoon
unable to decide between hiding
and pushing forward again.
What do other people feel behind closed eyelids?
Do they feel how I feel?
Can they feel the wasteland that surrounds every thought?
The dead trees?
The gray sky?
I'm in there somewhere
buried under it all
waiting for someone to come searching
But I'm not even sure what they would find
when did I decide to put a bag over my head
and plaster it with paint
as to hide what's underneath?
since when have I felt the need
to run from the mirror?
it must be because I know my reflection
won't smile back at me.
what made me think I could change the world
when I can't even change my own mentality?
I don't understand
where have I disappeared to?
Where did this black hole come from
that has swallowed me whole?
eating away at my light, leaving
nothing.
maybe my name tag just fell off
and has crawled under the bed into the darkness
I'm a blank slate without it
I need to be someone again
I'm a butterfly
that has retrogressed back to a cacoon
unable to decide between hiding
and pushing forward again.
What do other people feel behind closed eyelids?
Do they feel how I feel?
Can they feel the wasteland that surrounds every thought?
The dead trees?
The gray sky?
I'm in there somewhere
buried under it all
waiting for someone to come searching
But I'm not even sure what they would find