Another day, another whinge...
So midterms week is over. I aced my Health 106 midterm with 100%. Not too big a surprise there, it is just a 2-credit elective that's an easy 'A'. I took my Biology midterm today and I think I did pretty well, I think somewhere in the neighborhood of 88-92%.
It's the weekend and I am completely exhausted. I think it is mental and physical, because I still haven't gotten over this damn cold, it has been hanging on for almost 2 weeks now, I think. Anyhow, I think there is some emotional exhaustion too because I got a large box in the mail from my Aunt today. (My biological dad's sister.)
My dad was killed in a car accident in 1988, two days after my 7th birthday. For reasons that are still unknown, my mom left him and took me with her when I was about 5. My daddy worked on offshore oil rigs for years and so was gone a lot ... consequently, I have few, if any memories of him. My aunt sent me a bunch of personal things...she told me she was sending them, and I didn't know what to expect.
I ended up getting a lot of technical manuals, magazines, and a lot of surprises. I got all the records from his days in Catholic school ... yes, my very own dad studied to become part of the Catholic priesthood. He graduated from a Carmelite Seminary on the east coast. I also got a lot of his military records...Quite a departure from the church, he enlisted in the US Marine Corps.
I also got a huge packet of condolence cards; basically all the records of when he died, the funeral reciept, the Catholic recitations, the Mass cards...there was a lot in there that was so hard to look at, a lot that made me so emotional.
I got mad, mad at a mother who would let my stepfather abuse me...upset because my father was a fascinating person I never really got to know. There was just a well of emotions - it took me more than 3 hours to go through this big box, and I cried so much husband eventually handed me a kitchen towel because kleenex just weren't cutting it! ha!
I am not sure what else to say, I am sure I will talk about it more later. I just felt the need to share. I got to know him a little better tonight - not anywhere near as much as I want to know, but a few puzzle pieces did get put into place.
And I still can't help but beam with immense joy every time my husband tells me how much I look like my dad ... maybe I will post a photo one day. We have the same deep-set eyes, the same smile that makes you stop and think, "Hmm...there's something going ON in that brain!" I miss him fiercely and completely and even still, I know that what happened had to happen in order for me to have the life I have right now. In order for me to have my beautiful, wonderful husband who kissed me and consoled me all the while I sifted through the detritus, the leftovers of a life.
It's the weekend and I am completely exhausted. I think it is mental and physical, because I still haven't gotten over this damn cold, it has been hanging on for almost 2 weeks now, I think. Anyhow, I think there is some emotional exhaustion too because I got a large box in the mail from my Aunt today. (My biological dad's sister.)
My dad was killed in a car accident in 1988, two days after my 7th birthday. For reasons that are still unknown, my mom left him and took me with her when I was about 5. My daddy worked on offshore oil rigs for years and so was gone a lot ... consequently, I have few, if any memories of him. My aunt sent me a bunch of personal things...she told me she was sending them, and I didn't know what to expect.
I ended up getting a lot of technical manuals, magazines, and a lot of surprises. I got all the records from his days in Catholic school ... yes, my very own dad studied to become part of the Catholic priesthood. He graduated from a Carmelite Seminary on the east coast. I also got a lot of his military records...Quite a departure from the church, he enlisted in the US Marine Corps.
I also got a huge packet of condolence cards; basically all the records of when he died, the funeral reciept, the Catholic recitations, the Mass cards...there was a lot in there that was so hard to look at, a lot that made me so emotional.
I got mad, mad at a mother who would let my stepfather abuse me...upset because my father was a fascinating person I never really got to know. There was just a well of emotions - it took me more than 3 hours to go through this big box, and I cried so much husband eventually handed me a kitchen towel because kleenex just weren't cutting it! ha!
I am not sure what else to say, I am sure I will talk about it more later. I just felt the need to share. I got to know him a little better tonight - not anywhere near as much as I want to know, but a few puzzle pieces did get put into place.
And I still can't help but beam with immense joy every time my husband tells me how much I look like my dad ... maybe I will post a photo one day. We have the same deep-set eyes, the same smile that makes you stop and think, "Hmm...there's something going ON in that brain!" I miss him fiercely and completely and even still, I know that what happened had to happen in order for me to have the life I have right now. In order for me to have my beautiful, wonderful husband who kissed me and consoled me all the while I sifted through the detritus, the leftovers of a life.