Hey you
If anyone out there knows how to deal with addiction and live at the same time, please let me know. Every time I make up my mind that "this is it" or "I am not going to put myself in these situations anymore" or "who cares if the guy knows how to kiss...this is over" Mr. Self-Destruct knows says or does something to get me to change my mind. I so badly want to believe it when he says he wants to be with me. Or when he tells me how nice I look. When he makes a special effort to make me feel good I just go along with it. Trying to believe, wanting to believe, wishing I believed. Could he really be going to all that work for sex? I just don't think so. He could get that from anyone.
Yes, addiction, that is exactly what it is. I feel good when he tells me I look nice. I feel good when he kisses me. I feel good when he lifts my skirt and reaches between my legs. It's not just the acts that feel good..... I feel good. Huh... a light bulb just went over my head. Instant gratification. I don't have to wait to feel good. It's not like pills. It's instant.
I want more.
Yes, addiction, that is exactly what it is. I feel good when he tells me I look nice. I feel good when he kisses me. I feel good when he lifts my skirt and reaches between my legs. It's not just the acts that feel good..... I feel good. Huh... a light bulb just went over my head. Instant gratification. I don't have to wait to feel good. It's not like pills. It's instant.
I want more.