ok so
i decided to write in here for whatever reason. this will be my dark journal. ill write in here everything i hate about you, me and everything.
well ok, im fucking fat. well yeah...thats a start right there. im fat, i don't really care about that but i pretend like i do so people will feel sorry for me. its all a fucking game you know, all just a game. i feel like this: pathetic, a loser, an asshole, alone, afraid, hated etc. and people come to my aid and then i say "oh no life is dark! you can not save me from this dark tunnel im in!" shaaaat up. (btw, thats me telling my self to shut up) im whining to myself. im fucking alone, its fucking 5am. who gives a shit? i don't even give a shit. why should i? why should i have to put up with this? i shouldn't right? i should go put a bullet in my brain right? yeah, you fucking bet i should. but first let me blog about it so someone will feel sowwy fow wittle ol me. fucking horrible excuse for living. life? who gives a shit. who gives a shit about anything anymore. i could go fucking die and people would all cry and mourn but who REALLY gives a shit? no one. your just dust and maggot food. they should just throw your body over a bridge and sell your clothes for a ping-pong table (Simpsons reference). who cares, you know? who honestly cares that fucking people are starving? that dogs are being beaten to death and filmed for youtube? do you care? no. because it doesn't effect your life. your death wouldn't effect my life, so why should one less person on the planet matter? they don't matter because nothing. fucking. matters. the only reason im not fucking dead right now is because i;d feel like a quitter. but i think if you haven't thought about offing yourself at least once in your life your a fucking moron. it's great to realize you have an off switch right there waiting for you. if your willing to risk it, there it is. fuck it man, im not turning that off switch. i feel safe knowing i can take control of my life like that. if you've never felt like dieing, you haven't lived. you haven't loved. you don't understand. your missing the point.
Pablo