hi. anyone out there?
New member here. I noticed the last activity was in August so I'm posting hopefully to stir up some conversation here.
The last post by slow_mo_panda was about a particular type of PTSD stemming from a near-death experience: What is your PTSD from? What issues do you deal with that are specific to your "type" of post-traumatic stress?
And, how specifically are you coping with your PTSD? Medications, different modes of therapy? What works for you and what doesn't?
My PTSD stems from years of physical and sexual abuse by my stepfather (age 7 to 19). I am now a 27-year-old female living independently but receiving disability for the PTSD. I have experienced flashbacks but my primary symptom was always nightmares related to the abuse. I also continue to have paranoia about undressing and using the bathroom as part of the abuse involved being watched as I did those things. I experience panic attacks frequently and they are ugly. I find it almost impossible to sleep on my own and take meds to help knock me out, otherwise I'd sit awake all night jumping at the slightest sound and hovering by my door scared out of my mind. The fear is abstract; it is not a fear of anything specific anymore as I've been living far, far away from my abuser for many years. But I've found that I don't need an actual threat in order to drive myself crazy with fear.
Lately I've been struggling with when to share the information about my "condition" and when to keep it to myself. I've reached a point where I don't mind talking about it almost at all, but I've noticed that bringing it up in any context seems to make the other person(s) uncomfortable. So when I meet someone or start dating someone, I want to give full disclosure about my baggage and what I'm dealing with--but I also don't want to alienate or drive her away with talk of distasteful subjects that make her feel squitchy. But--whatever. I'm learning to accept the potential alienation and think of it as and indicator that perhaps this person is not for me. Which leads me to my coping strategies:
I see a shrink once a week who's A+ pro two thumbs up best shrink I ever had. He's my therapist and my prescriber, which apparently blows some people's minds, but I've always had psychiatrists who do both. Isn't that what a psychiatrist is? Am I stupid? I don't know. We talk about my feelings and he tries really hard to make me learn not to expect anything when embarking on a new relationship or project, because I get so profoundly hurt when my expectations aren't met. He believes in getting enough sleep (I get super manic), taking pills if you need them until you don't need them anymore, and education (my big project at the moment is finishing college and moving on to master's and possibly PhD level. I said I'd get a Guggenheim by age 41 but he said that counts as an expectation and I should watch it).
My meds are numerous and varied, but what has worked best for me over the past two years are: Seroquel, Selegiline/Emsam, Prazosin, and Topamax. I feel like I've been on every med in existence but my doc also believes in tweaking the regime until it's right. He is very responsive about my meds and that makes me feel a lot more secure about taking them.
The last post by slow_mo_panda was about a particular type of PTSD stemming from a near-death experience: What is your PTSD from? What issues do you deal with that are specific to your "type" of post-traumatic stress?
And, how specifically are you coping with your PTSD? Medications, different modes of therapy? What works for you and what doesn't?
My PTSD stems from years of physical and sexual abuse by my stepfather (age 7 to 19). I am now a 27-year-old female living independently but receiving disability for the PTSD. I have experienced flashbacks but my primary symptom was always nightmares related to the abuse. I also continue to have paranoia about undressing and using the bathroom as part of the abuse involved being watched as I did those things. I experience panic attacks frequently and they are ugly. I find it almost impossible to sleep on my own and take meds to help knock me out, otherwise I'd sit awake all night jumping at the slightest sound and hovering by my door scared out of my mind. The fear is abstract; it is not a fear of anything specific anymore as I've been living far, far away from my abuser for many years. But I've found that I don't need an actual threat in order to drive myself crazy with fear.
Lately I've been struggling with when to share the information about my "condition" and when to keep it to myself. I've reached a point where I don't mind talking about it almost at all, but I've noticed that bringing it up in any context seems to make the other person(s) uncomfortable. So when I meet someone or start dating someone, I want to give full disclosure about my baggage and what I'm dealing with--but I also don't want to alienate or drive her away with talk of distasteful subjects that make her feel squitchy. But--whatever. I'm learning to accept the potential alienation and think of it as and indicator that perhaps this person is not for me. Which leads me to my coping strategies:
I see a shrink once a week who's A+ pro two thumbs up best shrink I ever had. He's my therapist and my prescriber, which apparently blows some people's minds, but I've always had psychiatrists who do both. Isn't that what a psychiatrist is? Am I stupid? I don't know. We talk about my feelings and he tries really hard to make me learn not to expect anything when embarking on a new relationship or project, because I get so profoundly hurt when my expectations aren't met. He believes in getting enough sleep (I get super manic), taking pills if you need them until you don't need them anymore, and education (my big project at the moment is finishing college and moving on to master's and possibly PhD level. I said I'd get a Guggenheim by age 41 but he said that counts as an expectation and I should watch it).
My meds are numerous and varied, but what has worked best for me over the past two years are: Seroquel, Selegiline/Emsam, Prazosin, and Topamax. I feel like I've been on every med in existence but my doc also believes in tweaking the regime until it's right. He is very responsive about my meds and that makes me feel a lot more secure about taking them.