Rationed
It occurred to me tonight that I have a fragile perspective of how others feel about me. More specifically, their value for me as a friend or as a partner. I guess it's something I've always known and have even referenced in past entries. When I think about the notion of being in close proximity to another person for an extended period of time, I anticipate their appreciation of me to lessen as any novelty of my presence wanes. While I feel that I have an immense amount to offer others, I don't believe that they would see it that way. The quirks of my humor becoming commonly redundant. The acts of kindness becoming expected and less special. To sum it up, I believe that people will get bored of me. Am I so uninteresting? Why do I feel that I am so easy to discard? Why do I feel that I have to be rationed to keep interest or value?