What am I feeling?
Since I got back from my vacation, I've had an odd perception of the world around me. I don't know where it came or even how I can properly describe it. I sort of feel like the world is just happening around me. A lot of things that would be my normal go to for enjoyment aren't having the same effect anymore. When I'm at work, I don't necessarily enjoy it, but lately it feels like I'm counting the minutes and pacing out the day to survive long enough to go home. I'm still putting all of my normal efforts in, but with minimal sense of accomplishment. I don't feel like I'm depressed. I just feel like a lot of things don't matter. People will be stupid. Best intentions will be misunderstood. Honest efforts will be circumvented by nature or actions of others. I don't feel like myself. It's not necessarily that I'm upset by my outlook, but rather the sensation that things are misaligned or out of focus. Maybe this is a form of depression and I just need to work through it. There's a taste of deja vu in the air. There's a sense of indecision and limbo looming.