Unconditional Love
I can't help it. I love Monique! We fat people have to stick together, ya know?
Still, during her post-Oscar press conference, she broached the subject of unconditional love, telling everyone in the room and everyone watching E! at home, that we need to love everyone, no matter their sins, no matter how unlovable.
I was uncomfortable with her statement, not because she was wrong, but because she definitely wasn't right. I consider Monique a genuine person. I've been following her for awhile, and I've seen her handle herself well, with humility and honor when necessary. What can I say? I like her.
Still, what she was saying felt wrong. It dawned on me how messy this type of unconditional love is. It's like a social construct completely devoid of a skeletal structure. What holds people accountable if everyone is loved no matter what? Where is justice in all this?
I also know that unconditional love for everyone isn't possible for Monique. The same people who preach unconditional love will often find themselves hard-pressed to love people who don't practice their motto.
Despite that, how can a culture grow without any sense of justice, morality, or shame? Wouldn't we all end up the psychological equivalent of the humans in Wall E? And that's those of us who are good people. What about the monsters?
Life wasn't meant to be easy. People understand the concept of working hard to be physically fit, of working hard to keep their minds sharp. But no one understands the idea that "hurt feelings," and moments of shame and embarrassment are also meant to improve us. It's hard to feel ashamed, but if the feeling isn't outright rejected as some alien evil (like how our culture views it), that discomfort may transform you into a better person.
Unconditional love--as I'm sure Monique understands it--would vanquish that shame. Therefore, unconditional love isn't the right answer....but nor is condemning everyone who doesn't live the life you want them to live. The right answer is--as usual--somewhere in the uncomfortable middle, something like loving people but also holding them accountable and possibly "letting them go" when the situation calls for it.
Still, during her post-Oscar press conference, she broached the subject of unconditional love, telling everyone in the room and everyone watching E! at home, that we need to love everyone, no matter their sins, no matter how unlovable.
I was uncomfortable with her statement, not because she was wrong, but because she definitely wasn't right. I consider Monique a genuine person. I've been following her for awhile, and I've seen her handle herself well, with humility and honor when necessary. What can I say? I like her.
Still, what she was saying felt wrong. It dawned on me how messy this type of unconditional love is. It's like a social construct completely devoid of a skeletal structure. What holds people accountable if everyone is loved no matter what? Where is justice in all this?
I also know that unconditional love for everyone isn't possible for Monique. The same people who preach unconditional love will often find themselves hard-pressed to love people who don't practice their motto.
Despite that, how can a culture grow without any sense of justice, morality, or shame? Wouldn't we all end up the psychological equivalent of the humans in Wall E? And that's those of us who are good people. What about the monsters?
Life wasn't meant to be easy. People understand the concept of working hard to be physically fit, of working hard to keep their minds sharp. But no one understands the idea that "hurt feelings," and moments of shame and embarrassment are also meant to improve us. It's hard to feel ashamed, but if the feeling isn't outright rejected as some alien evil (like how our culture views it), that discomfort may transform you into a better person.
Unconditional love--as I'm sure Monique understands it--would vanquish that shame. Therefore, unconditional love isn't the right answer....but nor is condemning everyone who doesn't live the life you want them to live. The right answer is--as usual--somewhere in the uncomfortable middle, something like loving people but also holding them accountable and possibly "letting them go" when the situation calls for it.