Being in Ogden...
I have to keep telling myself that no one knows what is best for me except ME. My dad seems so opressive and negative sometimes, and perhaps he'd call it being a realist or something, but it gets me really frustrated and upset sometimes due to the fact that I'm still financially dependent on him. I told him what my paycheck was today and he responds "...is that good?" in a sort of snarky tone. I was really proud too, because I made 500 bucks in six days. For me, yes, that's good... could you not tell by the tone in which I stated it? Was it out of the question to sound supportive of my efforts in the least? Hey, I went out and I got a job of my own volition so that maybe that would be 500 dollars less he would have to pay for something or other.
I feel like deep down he wishes I weren't going to art school. I am unbelievably happier when I'm away from all this and in Alfred with people who give a shit what I'm doing artistically, and more importantly, how I'm doing emotionally (although now that Elaine's here it's slightly easier to deal with).
The whole conventional, conservative, Christian, Republican, good-clean-fun, do-the-right-thing, "fiscal responsibility" deal is starting to make me realize the reasons why I was constantly so depressed in high school... and part of the reason I have such a problem believing in myself and my abilities.
I feel like deep down he wishes I weren't going to art school. I am unbelievably happier when I'm away from all this and in Alfred with people who give a shit what I'm doing artistically, and more importantly, how I'm doing emotionally (although now that Elaine's here it's slightly easier to deal with).
The whole conventional, conservative, Christian, Republican, good-clean-fun, do-the-right-thing, "fiscal responsibility" deal is starting to make me realize the reasons why I was constantly so depressed in high school... and part of the reason I have such a problem believing in myself and my abilities.