Why?
Why does shit always happen to me when life seems to be getting better? Did I do something thats is making me deserve this? It seems like everything I do wrong Karen (I'm not calling her my mom anymore... She doesn't deserve it) always brings up that i'm fat, I gave Ranen $20 for gas money a LONG time ago, or I am on the internet. I guess i'm just not a bad enough kid for her to get other reasons to bitch about. Maybe I should start doing drugs again. And just do it in the fucking living room when my grandparents come to visit for Florida. I don't even know why I let the things she says get to me. Its completely hopeless to think she will ever stop.
But I mean, a mother shouldn't tell you to stop eating because your fat right? I don't want to sit here thinking that what she did was right. She is practically turning me anorexic. I've lost almost 20 pounds in a month. That isn't healthy at all, but she doesn't care. She just doesn't want to be embarassed around her family. She is so selfish. Just thinking about herself and how people see her, not thinking about her only daughter being starved. I can't even eat anymore without throwing up and getting sick. It's disguesting me. Why is this happening?
So I guess this is where I should explain why I am so upset. My mom gave me money to go to Lazergate with Chrissy yesterday. A measly $10. The rest of it was my own money that I got from working at the Slater's house. I came home and had money left over, so I thought "good now I can order something to eat this week"... Keyword is thought. She barged into my room and instead of asking if I had any money, she goes into my purse and takes it out of my wallet saying "she needs it for coffee". I knew that was alie all the time. Coffee doesn't cost $15 and I saw she had money on the table yesterday morning when I asked her for money for Lazergate. So I went into the computer room and tell her to give me MY money back since she already had some of her own and she proceeded to tell me that it was her lunch money. Then I told her "well i'm glad you get to eat everyday, since I haven't eaten since monday, and that was a peanut butter sandwich". That wasn't even the thing that has gotten me so upset. She straight up told me "Kim, you don't need money for lunch. You're fat. You need to stop eating". Right then I just started to ball my eyes out. This is the lady that considers herself my mother. She is the person who gave birth to me and now she is telling me I'm fat and that I shouldn't eat? When she saw me crying she didn't even comfort me. No sorrys at all. She started laughing instead. LAUGHING!! At me... Her fat daughter that doesn't need to eat. You have no idea how much to took from me not to hit her. I really felt like knocking her out of the fucking chair and beat her ass.
I really don't know what to do. I think I'm just gunna tell me Dad about this whole thing and see if I can move in with an Aunt or something. I know I just can't stay here. It's hard enough that i'm over weight. I don't need to hear it from my own mother.
But I mean, a mother shouldn't tell you to stop eating because your fat right? I don't want to sit here thinking that what she did was right. She is practically turning me anorexic. I've lost almost 20 pounds in a month. That isn't healthy at all, but she doesn't care. She just doesn't want to be embarassed around her family. She is so selfish. Just thinking about herself and how people see her, not thinking about her only daughter being starved. I can't even eat anymore without throwing up and getting sick. It's disguesting me. Why is this happening?
So I guess this is where I should explain why I am so upset. My mom gave me money to go to Lazergate with Chrissy yesterday. A measly $10. The rest of it was my own money that I got from working at the Slater's house. I came home and had money left over, so I thought "good now I can order something to eat this week"... Keyword is thought. She barged into my room and instead of asking if I had any money, she goes into my purse and takes it out of my wallet saying "she needs it for coffee". I knew that was alie all the time. Coffee doesn't cost $15 and I saw she had money on the table yesterday morning when I asked her for money for Lazergate. So I went into the computer room and tell her to give me MY money back since she already had some of her own and she proceeded to tell me that it was her lunch money. Then I told her "well i'm glad you get to eat everyday, since I haven't eaten since monday, and that was a peanut butter sandwich". That wasn't even the thing that has gotten me so upset. She straight up told me "Kim, you don't need money for lunch. You're fat. You need to stop eating". Right then I just started to ball my eyes out. This is the lady that considers herself my mother. She is the person who gave birth to me and now she is telling me I'm fat and that I shouldn't eat? When she saw me crying she didn't even comfort me. No sorrys at all. She started laughing instead. LAUGHING!! At me... Her fat daughter that doesn't need to eat. You have no idea how much to took from me not to hit her. I really felt like knocking her out of the fucking chair and beat her ass.
I really don't know what to do. I think I'm just gunna tell me Dad about this whole thing and see if I can move in with an Aunt or something. I know I just can't stay here. It's hard enough that i'm over weight. I don't need to hear it from my own mother.