The Mother: Her Christmas Gift
!! Dear Whomever Gives A Damn !!
I've decided that it's wrong to deny my mother a Christmas gift. Or, at least, I thought it would be wrong - but then I remembered everything that she ever did to me - but this is what I was going to put with her Christmas gift. A letter. It may sound mean, but after everything that she has put me through - this is the nicest that I could manage any letter to that beast.
Dear Mom,
Originally, I wasn't going to give you a Christmas gift at all - because of everything that you have done, and everything that you continue to do. But then I thought about it, and realized that I don't want to be like you - and I don't want to be like Dad. I'm not going to be bitter because of what you chose to do in your life, and I am not going to be bitter and angry because you decided that you are much more important than anyone in your life. I refuse to be just like you.
I bought you this, because I thought that it wasn't fair for me to take out my anger and bitterness on you by refusing you a Christmas gift, though you don't deserve it. But as I said, I'm not going to be like you. I'm not going to be bitter. I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to be inconsiderate and hurtful.
But I've decided that not only do I not want to be like you, I decided that I want nothing to do with you. I decided that, when I realized just what kind of person you are - and I don't like you. It's not things that you thought that would change how I see you - it's how you are as a person in general. Everything you have said, and everything that you have done.
To avoid turning into you, I have to remove you from my life completely. To protect myself, and my family, I need to remove you completely because all you have been in my life is a pain. A pain in my heart, because you continue to walk all over me - and then make yourself out to be the victim and I'm sick of it.
Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. May you learn to not be so angry and so bitter, and hopefully you'll stop denying who you are.
Sincerely,
Tw!nkers
If I ever dreamed of sending her that letter, which I have, I know that her reaction would be to cry - make herself look like the victim in front of my brother and sister, then call her boyfriend and cry about it, and then call my Dad and cry about it. But the funny thing is: Dad and John are never around to see what the hell she is really like.
Dad has been neglecting my e-mail, which shows clearly that he doesn't care and that he doesn't believe me - but it's just all the more reason to remove him permanently from my life too. John, well, he's delusional anyway. He thinks my sister is such a sweetheart and that she couldn't possibly manage to be the bitch that we describe her to be.
It's kind of funny how Mom always ends up with the psycho delusional ones - but I guess she needs a man like that because if she had one that actually had a brain, I can guarantee he wouldn't be sticking around after realizing what kind of monster she really is deep down inside.
But I decided that I'm going to try and not be bitter about this. I'm just going to leave it be. If her opinion of me, is truly that I am a burden and if she truly thinks (along with Dad) that I expect everyone to do everything for me - then that is their problem and they had better not expect anything of me or from me ever again. I've been there one too many times for my Mom, just to have her walk all over me, and act as if I've yet to do anything for her.
Last time I checked, she was my mother, not the other way around. I am Isabella's mother, and I am this new baby's mother. I am not going to take care of my mother like she is my daughter anymore. But, I'm not going to be bitter about it anymore, and I'm not going to be angry about it anymore. She's out of my life, it's as simple as that.
By being bitter, and by being angry - I'm turning into my mother. All she is, is bitter all year round and angry. She has no other emotion. I don't want to be like her, so, I've decided that I'm not going to be those things anymore. I'm going to count my blessings, be thankful for what I do have, and smile. I'm not going to be her. I won't be her. I refuse to be. She doesn't deserve to have anyone look up to her, or want to be her. I used to be, but after seeing who she is - I don't want to be. I refuse to be.
She can be bitter and angry all by herself now, because I'm no longer going to wait to pick up the pieces to her broken life.
As for the Christmas gift, she isn't getting it. Nor the letter. She gets nothing from me. Not even a smile. Not even a glance. She doesn't deserve it.
ox (! Tw!nkers !) xo
♥ ♥ ♥
I've decided that it's wrong to deny my mother a Christmas gift. Or, at least, I thought it would be wrong - but then I remembered everything that she ever did to me - but this is what I was going to put with her Christmas gift. A letter. It may sound mean, but after everything that she has put me through - this is the nicest that I could manage any letter to that beast.
Dear Mom,
Originally, I wasn't going to give you a Christmas gift at all - because of everything that you have done, and everything that you continue to do. But then I thought about it, and realized that I don't want to be like you - and I don't want to be like Dad. I'm not going to be bitter because of what you chose to do in your life, and I am not going to be bitter and angry because you decided that you are much more important than anyone in your life. I refuse to be just like you.
I bought you this, because I thought that it wasn't fair for me to take out my anger and bitterness on you by refusing you a Christmas gift, though you don't deserve it. But as I said, I'm not going to be like you. I'm not going to be bitter. I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to be inconsiderate and hurtful.
But I've decided that not only do I not want to be like you, I decided that I want nothing to do with you. I decided that, when I realized just what kind of person you are - and I don't like you. It's not things that you thought that would change how I see you - it's how you are as a person in general. Everything you have said, and everything that you have done.
To avoid turning into you, I have to remove you from my life completely. To protect myself, and my family, I need to remove you completely because all you have been in my life is a pain. A pain in my heart, because you continue to walk all over me - and then make yourself out to be the victim and I'm sick of it.
Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. May you learn to not be so angry and so bitter, and hopefully you'll stop denying who you are.
Sincerely,
Tw!nkers
If I ever dreamed of sending her that letter, which I have, I know that her reaction would be to cry - make herself look like the victim in front of my brother and sister, then call her boyfriend and cry about it, and then call my Dad and cry about it. But the funny thing is: Dad and John are never around to see what the hell she is really like.
Dad has been neglecting my e-mail, which shows clearly that he doesn't care and that he doesn't believe me - but it's just all the more reason to remove him permanently from my life too. John, well, he's delusional anyway. He thinks my sister is such a sweetheart and that she couldn't possibly manage to be the bitch that we describe her to be.
It's kind of funny how Mom always ends up with the psycho delusional ones - but I guess she needs a man like that because if she had one that actually had a brain, I can guarantee he wouldn't be sticking around after realizing what kind of monster she really is deep down inside.
But I decided that I'm going to try and not be bitter about this. I'm just going to leave it be. If her opinion of me, is truly that I am a burden and if she truly thinks (along with Dad) that I expect everyone to do everything for me - then that is their problem and they had better not expect anything of me or from me ever again. I've been there one too many times for my Mom, just to have her walk all over me, and act as if I've yet to do anything for her.
Last time I checked, she was my mother, not the other way around. I am Isabella's mother, and I am this new baby's mother. I am not going to take care of my mother like she is my daughter anymore. But, I'm not going to be bitter about it anymore, and I'm not going to be angry about it anymore. She's out of my life, it's as simple as that.
By being bitter, and by being angry - I'm turning into my mother. All she is, is bitter all year round and angry. She has no other emotion. I don't want to be like her, so, I've decided that I'm not going to be those things anymore. I'm going to count my blessings, be thankful for what I do have, and smile. I'm not going to be her. I won't be her. I refuse to be. She doesn't deserve to have anyone look up to her, or want to be her. I used to be, but after seeing who she is - I don't want to be. I refuse to be.
She can be bitter and angry all by herself now, because I'm no longer going to wait to pick up the pieces to her broken life.
As for the Christmas gift, she isn't getting it. Nor the letter. She gets nothing from me. Not even a smile. Not even a glance. She doesn't deserve it.
ox (! Tw!nkers !) xo
♥ ♥ ♥