Breaking point....
I have been more than tough about this knee thing. I can take the pain, do what I need to do, stay independent as much as possible, and just be me. Not tonight. Tonight I simply lost it.
Tonight was my first attempt at a real shower since surgery and despite doing my exercises it was definitely the hardest task yet. I did my thing, scared to death that I could fall at any time, and hobbled out only to break down and cry. It's the first time that I've cried about the pain ever. Hell, I didn't even cry when I tore my ACL! Maybe it was just time for me to let some stress out because it felt like I was crying about more than the severe pain.
I've been keeping stuff bottled up for a long time now. I know, I know, it's not good for me and I should talk it out, but it just seems like all the right people to talk to are busy and/or the people I can talk to wouldn't understand or are wrapped up in their own issues. Those are not valid excuses, but appear to be a very real roadblock.
Wow, this has become much more than I intended it to be...
Tonight was my first attempt at a real shower since surgery and despite doing my exercises it was definitely the hardest task yet. I did my thing, scared to death that I could fall at any time, and hobbled out only to break down and cry. It's the first time that I've cried about the pain ever. Hell, I didn't even cry when I tore my ACL! Maybe it was just time for me to let some stress out because it felt like I was crying about more than the severe pain.
I've been keeping stuff bottled up for a long time now. I know, I know, it's not good for me and I should talk it out, but it just seems like all the right people to talk to are busy and/or the people I can talk to wouldn't understand or are wrapped up in their own issues. Those are not valid excuses, but appear to be a very real roadblock.
Wow, this has become much more than I intended it to be...