Boy am I tired of this..
I hate updating about how me and Kevin broke up and then updating again how we broke up again. This time I really hope it's for good. I don't want to disclose details. Basically Kevin is not interested in my feelings and when I get upset and cry he just calls me a crybaby and tells me I need to grow up. I went home after this happened and he called me this morning. Basically he was too busy reading a letter to work our problems out so I told him to F Off and hung up and hadn't heard from him all day. I got off at 5...Got home and settled about 5:30...Took a nap..called him at 8:30..He asks where the hell I have been..I told him napping..he doesn't believe me..Cmon like I would be anywhere else...gimme a break! Anyway it came down to "I don't have the time to wait around for my boyfriend to care enough to actually work things out with me" and he said "okay BYE then!" and I hung up..Haven't heard from him since but it hasn't even been 2 hours, there's still a lot of time left to hear from him. Only thing is this time my phone is on silent. I left him a voicemail and told him I am beyond through and stuff. I really hope this time I stick with it though...I'm sooo tired of being hurt. I told him it hurts more for him to tell me he loves me and say and do the things he does to me...than it hurts for him to leave...so I was leaving him until he could get his priorities straight. I don't need someone that I HAVE to be 5th or 6th on his list..I don't need someone with a kid and grandparents that need tending to and shit like that...I need someone who will do something for ME for a change! Someone who has the time in the day to stop watching TV or talking on the phone and pay some attention to me. I go there the second he okays it to sit and watch him watch TV...What's funny about that is that while the Penn State-Florida State game was on, I wanted to watch the FINAL play and didn't get to bc he was too busy wanting to make out and when I looked away he bitched me out for it!! But he watches show upon show and doesn't even speak to me...let alone kiss me. Fuck. I was doing so good not crying. I hate him for what he's done to me. He has drained every bit of my soul from me. I am so completely lost and alone. I really want to drive home like right now. But I work tomorrow. Going home is not a possibility until the end of June. But I really need to like right this second. :( I really wish my parents lived closer...I'm so fucking alone. Now my roommate who I used to share my food with (I moved all of it into my room the other day) is knocking on my door so I can only see great things coming from that...Blah. I'm so tired of life. Someone save me from this shit. Reassure me. Support me. Anything:(