22: Halloween
Title: Halloween
Author: Paisley
Rating: PG-13 (Russell Brand warning)
Summary: The roommates throw a Halloween party and everyone gets trashed.
Notes: Noel and Julian's costumes are based of of Step 2 in my Drawing Process Tutorial.
"...And what are you supposed to be?" Leah asked Noel.
"Fantasia Jellysizzle," Noel replied happily, "I'm a whore."
"Yes, but what's your costume?" Julian added sarcastically.
"Don't speak to me ever again in your life," Noel teased.
"And you are...?" Sharmie asked to Julian.
"Rageshroud the Interred," he replied.
Julian was dressed in a leather jacket, had dyed his hair black, and was wearing heavy black makeup. And a fisherman's hat. As far as most people could tell, he was some sort of heavy metal fisherman, but nobody was quite sure. Noel on the other hand had dyed his hair blonde, was wearing a polka dot dress, and had thick, whorish makeup on. Again, no one was quite sure what he was supposed to be, but many suspected transvestite prostitute. It didn't really matter because they just did what they do every year for Halloween, and that is make some random personality and dress as the invented character. And by every year, I mean just this one year, since they only met in August.
"What about you?" Julian asked back.
"I'm Captain Hammer," Sharmie told him, "Paisley is Dr. Horrible, and Leah is Penny. We're from 'Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog'."
"Is that a kids program?" asked Noel.
"No, nothing like that," Paisley said.
"I don't see why I had to be the girl," Leah grumbled.
"Well, you are a girl," Paisley pointed out.
"We're all girls," Leah said, referring only to the three of them, of course.
"You have red hair," offered Sharmie.
"Oh well, in that case," Leah added sarcastically, throwing her arms in the air, giving up.
The townhouse was fully decorated for their Halloween party that was to commence shortly. They had streamers and candy and Noel was going to DJ. And they had booze. Lots of booze. If it had just been the girls throwing the party, it would have probably been a quiet get together with a couple close friends and they would drink tea and watch television. But the guys had insisted on inviting everyone they knew and then some, and that meant they needed lots of booze.
The girls weren't much for drinking, and none of them had ever even set foot in a liquor store before that day, so it was strange for them to be carrying bags of the stuff into their place.
"This party's gonna be genius!" Noel exclaimed excitedly while setting up the bar area on the main floor.
"Let's just hope everybody is in one piece at the end, shall we?" Sharmie suggested.
The party was well under way several hours later. Under way like a motherbitch. Everyone was there: Russell Brand came as a pirate, Richard Ayoade came as a supply teacher (complete with fake moustache), and Rich Fulcher came as a squashed in French man with hand-feet.
"You mean a gorilla?" Julian asked when Rich explained his costume.
"Whatever," Rich shrugged and drank his martini.
Simon Amstell also showed up, but when asked about his costume, he simply answered, "I came as a drunken student. Don't you think the costume's flawless?" and took another shot of tequila.
The party was going well, except the girls found themselves standing awkwardly in one corner of the room for a good portion of the night. Though, eventually, Richard Ayoade pulled Sharmie out onto the dance floor, as he had worked up quite a buzz.
"I've had so much flipping sugar," he said excitedly, his eyes wide, "I'm completely off my rocker!"
Leah and Paisley watched, amused, as he danced by flailing his body around the dance floor, Sharmie dancing close behind him, in a much more subdued manner. The amusement didn't last long, though, as the girls had short attention spans and were soon bored.
"What should we do?" Leah asked.
"I dunno," Paisley said, "what are most people doing?"
"Getting drunk and dancing," Leah replied.
"Then let's do that?" Paisley suggested uncertainly.
They headed over to the bar, where Russell Brand was standing, two drinks in hand.
"I saw you ladies coming this way, so I thought I'd make you up a couple drinks," he told them, "my specialty."
"Heh, thanks," Leah said, taking the drink and forcing a smile.
Russell headed off to schmooze and the girls exchanged glances before dumping the drinks and making themselves new ones.
A few drinks later, they finally managed to get out on the dance floor, and started throwing down some moves alongside Rich Fulcher.
"And that's why we're pretty vacant," Rich exclaimed as the music stopped after that line of the song.
"Um...kay..." said Paisley, not quite sure what he was talking about, but too drunk to care. "Shut up and kiss me, monkey man," she said to him. She thought it was only in her mind, but it wasn't.
"Okay, but first I gotta take a piss," Rich replied, heading for the bathroom.
"LOL!" Leah laughed.
"What's so funny?" Julian asked curiously, stumbling over to the girls as he made the rounds. He had to rest an arm on each of them in order to stand upright.
"Paisley's going to kiss the loud American man guy," Leah said drunkenly, because she was drunk.
"Haha, no way, man," said Julian, "I think he has cooties or something. Lulz."
"I'm not going to kiss him, it was just a joke," Paisley whined. "I'd much rather stroke your moustache," she added, not realizing she said it out loud.
"Lawl, maybe later," Julian laughed, "I gotta see more people. Peace out." He stumbled over to the next cluster of people.
In that time, Sharmie came over to talk to Leah and Paisley. She was the only sober one at the party. Richard Ayoade didn't really count, because he had eaten so much sugar that he was having hallucinations and was prancing around the front yard in his underclothes, chanting.
"Guys, are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah, totally fine," Paisley lied.
"Haha, except Paisley is going to make out with Rich and then stroke Julian's moustache," Leah said, still finding it hilarious.
"No, I'm not!" Paisley argued, while not being able to focus her eyes completely.
"Okay, I think you two have had enough," Sharmie suggested, guiding them to sit down at the kitchen table. "Drink some water, eat something, and take it easy, okay? Your systems aren't used to this lifestyle."
"You worry too much," Paisley told her, sitting down in a huff.
"Yeah, what could possibly happen?" Leah added, rolling her eyes.
The next morning, the roommates awoke to find that all their small kitchen appliances had been stolen, Rich Fulcher was asleep - full gorilla ensemble - in Noel's bed (luckily Noel had slept on the kitchen floor that night), the living room sofa had all the stuffing replaced with marshmallow peeps from three Easters ago, and Richard Ayoade was up a tree out front, howling at passing squirrels.
"What the hell happened?" Paisley asked, squinting in the daylight coming through the window.
"That was one hell of a party," Noel replied, rather chipper despite his deafening hangover.
"Wait, why are you in each other's costumes?" Paisley added, looking at Noel and Julian, confused.
"I...don't know," Julian said, rather confused himself. "Why do you have gorilla fur in the corner of your mouth?"
She coughed and pulled a bit of fuzz out of her mouth. "Oh dear. Looks like we all did silly things last night."
"I warned you," said Sharmie smugly. She was smug.
"What the fuck?!" exclaimed Leah from the bathroom. "I'm pregnant!"
"Lol," Paisley laughed maliciously.
"And you're the father," Leah told her seriously.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one ever spoke of this party again. Ever. It may have never even happened, because no one will admit to a thing.
THE END
Author: Paisley
Rating: PG-13 (Russell Brand warning)
Summary: The roommates throw a Halloween party and everyone gets trashed.
Notes: Noel and Julian's costumes are based of of Step 2 in my Drawing Process Tutorial.
"...And what are you supposed to be?" Leah asked Noel.
"Fantasia Jellysizzle," Noel replied happily, "I'm a whore."
"Yes, but what's your costume?" Julian added sarcastically.
"Don't speak to me ever again in your life," Noel teased.
"And you are...?" Sharmie asked to Julian.
"Rageshroud the Interred," he replied.
Julian was dressed in a leather jacket, had dyed his hair black, and was wearing heavy black makeup. And a fisherman's hat. As far as most people could tell, he was some sort of heavy metal fisherman, but nobody was quite sure. Noel on the other hand had dyed his hair blonde, was wearing a polka dot dress, and had thick, whorish makeup on. Again, no one was quite sure what he was supposed to be, but many suspected transvestite prostitute. It didn't really matter because they just did what they do every year for Halloween, and that is make some random personality and dress as the invented character. And by every year, I mean just this one year, since they only met in August.
"What about you?" Julian asked back.
"I'm Captain Hammer," Sharmie told him, "Paisley is Dr. Horrible, and Leah is Penny. We're from 'Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog'."
"Is that a kids program?" asked Noel.
"No, nothing like that," Paisley said.
"I don't see why I had to be the girl," Leah grumbled.
"Well, you are a girl," Paisley pointed out.
"We're all girls," Leah said, referring only to the three of them, of course.
"You have red hair," offered Sharmie.
"Oh well, in that case," Leah added sarcastically, throwing her arms in the air, giving up.
The townhouse was fully decorated for their Halloween party that was to commence shortly. They had streamers and candy and Noel was going to DJ. And they had booze. Lots of booze. If it had just been the girls throwing the party, it would have probably been a quiet get together with a couple close friends and they would drink tea and watch television. But the guys had insisted on inviting everyone they knew and then some, and that meant they needed lots of booze.
The girls weren't much for drinking, and none of them had ever even set foot in a liquor store before that day, so it was strange for them to be carrying bags of the stuff into their place.
"This party's gonna be genius!" Noel exclaimed excitedly while setting up the bar area on the main floor.
"Let's just hope everybody is in one piece at the end, shall we?" Sharmie suggested.
The party was well under way several hours later. Under way like a motherbitch. Everyone was there: Russell Brand came as a pirate, Richard Ayoade came as a supply teacher (complete with fake moustache), and Rich Fulcher came as a squashed in French man with hand-feet.
"You mean a gorilla?" Julian asked when Rich explained his costume.
"Whatever," Rich shrugged and drank his martini.
Simon Amstell also showed up, but when asked about his costume, he simply answered, "I came as a drunken student. Don't you think the costume's flawless?" and took another shot of tequila.
The party was going well, except the girls found themselves standing awkwardly in one corner of the room for a good portion of the night. Though, eventually, Richard Ayoade pulled Sharmie out onto the dance floor, as he had worked up quite a buzz.
"I've had so much flipping sugar," he said excitedly, his eyes wide, "I'm completely off my rocker!"
Leah and Paisley watched, amused, as he danced by flailing his body around the dance floor, Sharmie dancing close behind him, in a much more subdued manner. The amusement didn't last long, though, as the girls had short attention spans and were soon bored.
"What should we do?" Leah asked.
"I dunno," Paisley said, "what are most people doing?"
"Getting drunk and dancing," Leah replied.
"Then let's do that?" Paisley suggested uncertainly.
They headed over to the bar, where Russell Brand was standing, two drinks in hand.
"I saw you ladies coming this way, so I thought I'd make you up a couple drinks," he told them, "my specialty."
"Heh, thanks," Leah said, taking the drink and forcing a smile.
Russell headed off to schmooze and the girls exchanged glances before dumping the drinks and making themselves new ones.
A few drinks later, they finally managed to get out on the dance floor, and started throwing down some moves alongside Rich Fulcher.
"And that's why we're pretty vacant," Rich exclaimed as the music stopped after that line of the song.
"Um...kay..." said Paisley, not quite sure what he was talking about, but too drunk to care. "Shut up and kiss me, monkey man," she said to him. She thought it was only in her mind, but it wasn't.
"Okay, but first I gotta take a piss," Rich replied, heading for the bathroom.
"LOL!" Leah laughed.
"What's so funny?" Julian asked curiously, stumbling over to the girls as he made the rounds. He had to rest an arm on each of them in order to stand upright.
"Paisley's going to kiss the loud American man guy," Leah said drunkenly, because she was drunk.
"Haha, no way, man," said Julian, "I think he has cooties or something. Lulz."
"I'm not going to kiss him, it was just a joke," Paisley whined. "I'd much rather stroke your moustache," she added, not realizing she said it out loud.
"Lawl, maybe later," Julian laughed, "I gotta see more people. Peace out." He stumbled over to the next cluster of people.
In that time, Sharmie came over to talk to Leah and Paisley. She was the only sober one at the party. Richard Ayoade didn't really count, because he had eaten so much sugar that he was having hallucinations and was prancing around the front yard in his underclothes, chanting.
"Guys, are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah, totally fine," Paisley lied.
"Haha, except Paisley is going to make out with Rich and then stroke Julian's moustache," Leah said, still finding it hilarious.
"No, I'm not!" Paisley argued, while not being able to focus her eyes completely.
"Okay, I think you two have had enough," Sharmie suggested, guiding them to sit down at the kitchen table. "Drink some water, eat something, and take it easy, okay? Your systems aren't used to this lifestyle."
"You worry too much," Paisley told her, sitting down in a huff.
"Yeah, what could possibly happen?" Leah added, rolling her eyes.
The next morning, the roommates awoke to find that all their small kitchen appliances had been stolen, Rich Fulcher was asleep - full gorilla ensemble - in Noel's bed (luckily Noel had slept on the kitchen floor that night), the living room sofa had all the stuffing replaced with marshmallow peeps from three Easters ago, and Richard Ayoade was up a tree out front, howling at passing squirrels.
"What the hell happened?" Paisley asked, squinting in the daylight coming through the window.
"That was one hell of a party," Noel replied, rather chipper despite his deafening hangover.
"Wait, why are you in each other's costumes?" Paisley added, looking at Noel and Julian, confused.
"I...don't know," Julian said, rather confused himself. "Why do you have gorilla fur in the corner of your mouth?"
She coughed and pulled a bit of fuzz out of her mouth. "Oh dear. Looks like we all did silly things last night."
"I warned you," said Sharmie smugly. She was smug.
"What the fuck?!" exclaimed Leah from the bathroom. "I'm pregnant!"
"Lol," Paisley laughed maliciously.
"And you're the father," Leah told her seriously.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one ever spoke of this party again. Ever. It may have never even happened, because no one will admit to a thing.
THE END