Movies, Video Game Music, and Lai.
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/293232.html?playlist=featured
So anyway.
I apologize if I post depressing journal entries sometimes, but as someone who considers themselves a writer, writing is how I climb and descend my emotional roller coasters, and that is that. I try not to delete them either, maybe one day I can learn something from them. THIS IS A JOURNAL AFTER ALL.
I am looking forward to catching The Punisher this Friday, and then The Day The Earth Stood Still on the 12th, two days before my birthday. UNFORTUNATELY I might be somewhere I don't want to be, for my birthday, but we do what we can. I just wish my mind wasn't so packed with character ideas so that I could settle on one in time for that day, because the greatest gift I could receive this year would be mental stability. ;o
I was thinking a bit, and I really admire Valve's soundtracks (portal, half life 1/2, l4d, tf2, etc) because, especially in the case of the half life games, the music is so varied. When you play halo, you know you're going to hear the classic halo theme, and you know crysis has the pirates of the carribean guy doing the soundtrack. But when half life comes around, you don't know what you're in for. There are so many different ideas in Valve's music, and I think inevitably a regular person will walk away from their experience with at least one or two songs that really stick in their hearts, even if they don't know the names.
I was wandering Steam Groups for a while and I was steadily overcome with the urge to meet friends, and I get this urge once in a while. It was how I met a lot of great people. In spite of that, it has also led to some bad incidents that drove me back into anti social behavior. I try to tell myself I should always try to meet great people and that I shouldn't get discouraged, but inevitably, the other half of my brain says "Remember that one time that guy turned out to be a horrible person and you were completely humiliated?", and then I just...Don't go out and meet people. This happens with almost everything I do, I'm always shooting myself down.
Deep down, I don't want to be a bad person. I might be kind of an ass sometimes, or sometimes I might be really egotistical. But I think the difference between me and a jerk is that I want to be better. I consciously try to be nice, and honest, and I always worry about how I offended someone all the time, even after being the nicest person I could possibly be. I try my best to be helpful and kind, and I try to give without thought of receiving. I try really hard to be good, and to do good, and to be productive. I think I have a lot of deep rooted behaviors in my heart that make me vengeful and unforgiving, and I don't WANT to be that way, but it's really, really ingrained in my psyche. I can only do my best to repress it.
Thank you for tolerating walls of text internet
Thought of the month: "I should really e-mail Gabe Newell one of these days."
So anyway.
I apologize if I post depressing journal entries sometimes, but as someone who considers themselves a writer, writing is how I climb and descend my emotional roller coasters, and that is that. I try not to delete them either, maybe one day I can learn something from them. THIS IS A JOURNAL AFTER ALL.
I am looking forward to catching The Punisher this Friday, and then The Day The Earth Stood Still on the 12th, two days before my birthday. UNFORTUNATELY I might be somewhere I don't want to be, for my birthday, but we do what we can. I just wish my mind wasn't so packed with character ideas so that I could settle on one in time for that day, because the greatest gift I could receive this year would be mental stability. ;o
I was thinking a bit, and I really admire Valve's soundtracks (portal, half life 1/2, l4d, tf2, etc) because, especially in the case of the half life games, the music is so varied. When you play halo, you know you're going to hear the classic halo theme, and you know crysis has the pirates of the carribean guy doing the soundtrack. But when half life comes around, you don't know what you're in for. There are so many different ideas in Valve's music, and I think inevitably a regular person will walk away from their experience with at least one or two songs that really stick in their hearts, even if they don't know the names.
I was wandering Steam Groups for a while and I was steadily overcome with the urge to meet friends, and I get this urge once in a while. It was how I met a lot of great people. In spite of that, it has also led to some bad incidents that drove me back into anti social behavior. I try to tell myself I should always try to meet great people and that I shouldn't get discouraged, but inevitably, the other half of my brain says "Remember that one time that guy turned out to be a horrible person and you were completely humiliated?", and then I just...Don't go out and meet people. This happens with almost everything I do, I'm always shooting myself down.
Deep down, I don't want to be a bad person. I might be kind of an ass sometimes, or sometimes I might be really egotistical. But I think the difference between me and a jerk is that I want to be better. I consciously try to be nice, and honest, and I always worry about how I offended someone all the time, even after being the nicest person I could possibly be. I try my best to be helpful and kind, and I try to give without thought of receiving. I try really hard to be good, and to do good, and to be productive. I think I have a lot of deep rooted behaviors in my heart that make me vengeful and unforgiving, and I don't WANT to be that way, but it's really, really ingrained in my psyche. I can only do my best to repress it.
Thank you for tolerating walls of text internet
Thought of the month: "I should really e-mail Gabe Newell one of these days."