Goddess WTF?malkatshevaAugust 12 2008, 15:04:07 UTC
At last, the right moment to approach this issue! Who in the living %#$@^^ is this Goddess you keep wittering on about? I went all over your blog trying to find more out, but there wasn't much there in terms of actual substantive description. In fact, I got the impression from something you wrote that you've never actually met her? That is the very definition of a castle in the air, sir. She may be pretty amazing on the Web, but in real life she craps on the pot just like the rest of us. I'd be a poor friend/netstalker if I didn't call you on that. Paul Simon says, "Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance; everybody thinks it's true." That's what Goddess is to you: a train in the distance, the dream of freedom, the dream of a different life. But in reality, it seems that you know almost nothing about Goddess's real, true, daily life/personality.
I have a special perspective on this as a massage therapist: my clients adore me, but of course, they don't know me at all. When I'm working, I have to always use my geisha-riffic, soothing, massage-person voice, the room is always spotless, the music is quiet and relaxing. I keep the conversation light and always about them. I tenderly tuck the blankets around their shoulders, I rub their feet and scratch their scalps -- of course I seem really wonderful, huh? When I'm NOT working, I'm a bit of a shrew. . . but my clients never see this side of me. Could it be that your "relationship" with Goddess has a bit of this in it?
Re: Goddess WTF?ovate14August 14 2008, 00:27:20 UTC
She is a woman I dated in High school and still lives in that town. For reason stupid beyond fathoming, I left her when I left for college. She got back in touch with me years later, we had both gotten married and had a child by then. We met again, started an affair, and have both been battling bad marriages and contemplating a divorce.
Re: Goddess WTF?malkatshevaAugust 14 2008, 13:20:27 UTC
Well, I am pleased to hear that at least you know this person in real life. That's good news overall. So, okay, let me stay with it a little longer -- she represents something good from a looooong time ago. Maybe it was wonderful then, I don't know. It seems like a bit of a red flag to me when you call her Goddess. If you really love the real her, why don't you just call her, y'know, Suzanne or whatever her name is?
I realize you are a pagan and that the term "goddess" has special resonance for you. But the thing is, we transient humans cannot have an equal peer relationship with a member of the transcendent divine -- how could that be? Even when manifested in flesh, a divine being is still a divine being.
Okay, gotta lay off before I get sucked into a vortex of kabbalistic metaphysical rambling. Back to reality.
She lives in your old hometown. Were you thinking of moving back there? How would that affect your parenting responsibilities? Or would she move to your town? Do you think she'll like your daughter? What if your daughter doesn't care for her?
Understand -- it is really two separate issues.
1. Should you get divorced or not? 2. Should you pursue a relationship with Goddess?
I think these things ought to be weighed on their own merits. Maybe divorcing is the right choice, I don't know. But it shouldn't be "divorcing to be with Goddess." Particularly since, as we all know, sometimes things do not work out the way we imagined they would.
As for Goddess, I just can't see it as a good option for you. It just smacks of going backward, somehow. You need to go forward. You might dream that being with her would take away the misery and discomfort you're enduring lately, but I suggest that there's no avoiding these things just now -- they are simply part of your journey at this time.
A further consideration: even as she represents a sort of golden past happiness to you, I bet that you represent the same to her. The handsome, charming, sexy boy from long ago, ahh, how happy he made her feel. . . but you are not that boy anymore. I mean, you are still handsome, charming and sexy, but you're an older, sadder person who has been through a whole gauntlet of difficulties. You won't transport her the way she remembers, because those carefree, happy, stupid, innocent days of youth are lost for all of us. That's what Shaw means when he says, "Youth is wasted on the young." How would you feel if you eviscerated your life to be with this woman, only to have her kick you to the curb?
I have a special perspective on this as a massage therapist: my clients adore me, but of course, they don't know me at all. When I'm working, I have to always use my geisha-riffic, soothing, massage-person voice, the room is always spotless, the music is quiet and relaxing. I keep the conversation light and always about them. I tenderly tuck the blankets around their shoulders, I rub their feet and scratch their scalps -- of course I seem really wonderful, huh? When I'm NOT working, I'm a bit of a shrew. . . but my clients never see this side of me. Could it be that your "relationship" with Goddess has a bit of this in it?
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I realize you are a pagan and that the term "goddess" has special resonance for you. But the thing is, we transient humans cannot have an equal peer relationship with a member of the transcendent divine -- how could that be? Even when manifested in flesh, a divine being is still a divine being.
Okay, gotta lay off before I get sucked into a vortex of kabbalistic metaphysical rambling. Back to reality.
She lives in your old hometown. Were you thinking of moving back there? How would that affect your parenting responsibilities? Or would she move to your town? Do you think she'll like your daughter? What if your daughter doesn't care for her?
Understand -- it is really two separate issues.
1. Should you get divorced or not?
2. Should you pursue a relationship with Goddess?
I think these things ought to be weighed on their own merits. Maybe divorcing is the right choice, I don't know. But it shouldn't be "divorcing to be with Goddess." Particularly since, as we all know, sometimes things do not work out the way we imagined they would.
As for Goddess, I just can't see it as a good option for you. It just smacks of going backward, somehow. You need to go forward. You might dream that being with her would take away the misery and discomfort you're enduring lately, but I suggest that there's no avoiding these things just now -- they are simply part of your journey at this time.
A further consideration: even as she represents a sort of golden past happiness to you, I bet that you represent the same to her. The handsome, charming, sexy boy from long ago, ahh, how happy he made her feel. . . but you are not that boy anymore. I mean, you are still handsome, charming and sexy, but you're an older, sadder person who has been through a whole gauntlet of difficulties. You won't transport her the way she remembers, because those carefree, happy, stupid, innocent days of youth are lost for all of us. That's what Shaw means when he says, "Youth is wasted on the young." How would you feel if you eviscerated your life to be with this woman, only to have her kick you to the curb?
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