Yeah, Ok. How long before things go back to the screwed up unhappy marriage it was before you deployed? We are talking complete honeymoon phase right now. You just got home from being gone for MONTHS, you told her you wanted to separate. She is really faced with losing you, so she is trying to be what you want.
I could be wrong, but it seems to me like she did this before. I know you tried a separation in Arizona. Just try to be a little more objective.
Yes, I should be more objective, but how can I? The women I've been married to for 14 years is breaking down and my daughter is sleeping peacefully in the next room, I can't be objective.
But yes, there is a lot of honey moon phase still going on, but there are some changes that I know are permanent.
I could stay in this marriage and be happy. I know that if I get out, I'll be happier. Is that worth disrupting my daughter's life so much? That's what I'm so confused about.
Would LOVE to, but they're kind of hard to find. When we lived in AZ I think the one we had was ploy friendly, but neither my wife nor me were mature enough emmotionally to get into poly at that time.
Remember, as I once read, YOU are the only person you are 100% guaranteed will be with you the rest of your life. Yes it may be hard to disrupt your daughter's life, yes it may be hard on your wife but if it really is what is right for you then you really need to consider it carefully. Not trying to say yes you have to do it just a friendly reminder that making sure that YOU are ok with the decision you make is what is really most important.
That is the most important fact, you're right. I feel like a broken record at times, but I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I want.
It's not like we have a horrible marriage. Trust me, the stories I hear from other married couples (the ones who aren't breaking up) sound like horror stories. We don't cuss and fight and hurl insults, we aren't cruel or vindictive, and as a family we have a lot of fun a lot of the time.
So why do I want to leave, why do I think I'll be happier without her?
just because maybe you would be happier without being attached to her ...leaving her dosent mean not being invloved with her ...you will still have to be ..i agree with ellehina you are gonna be with you for the rest of your life ...you have to make your self happy because in the end you cant make others happy for you
I know I would still be involved with her, quite often in fact. I know I have to make myself happy, but this confuses me. What's the point of making myself happy if I hurt my daughter? Plus, it's amazing how much I dread and fear the actual process of gettin a divorce. I'm not real sure how to deal with it, I'm just not scared of things. I got deployed to Iraq and the idea of going into a combat zone didn't phase me a bit. But at times when I think about the reality of going through a divorce I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack.
then maybe you really dont want it if you feel panic from it ...and like i said in my other comment if you guy are unhappy then she can feel that as well ..so sometimes leaving helps the kid ...but in your case it seems like you guys get along fairly ok ..i understand how you feel though
I could be wrong, but it seems to me like she did this before. I know you tried a separation in Arizona. Just try to be a little more objective.
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But yes, there is a lot of honey moon phase still going on, but there are some changes that I know are permanent.
I could stay in this marriage and be happy. I know that if I get out, I'll be happier. Is that worth disrupting my daughter's life so much? That's what I'm so confused about.
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It's not like we have a horrible marriage. Trust me, the stories I hear from other married couples (the ones who aren't breaking up) sound like horror stories. We don't cuss and fight and hurl insults, we aren't cruel or vindictive, and as a family we have a lot of fun a lot of the time.
So why do I want to leave, why do I think I'll be happier without her?
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I know I have to make myself happy, but this confuses me. What's the point of making myself happy if I hurt my daughter? Plus, it's amazing how much I dread and fear the actual process of gettin a divorce. I'm not real sure how to deal with it, I'm just not scared of things. I got deployed to Iraq and the idea of going into a combat zone didn't phase me a bit. But at times when I think about the reality of going through a divorce I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack.
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