That's the hard part to figure out. One of the things that's always drawn me to Druidism and Pagan faiths in general is the emphasis on self knowledge.
I've tried the therapist route before, and am trying again, but that takes so long. But in hindsight, no longer that Pagan path will.
But it's also the balance. I have no doubt that a child can wether a divorce and come out strong and happy, even more so because of it rather than in spite of it. But why put her through that if it's not needed?
judging from what you've said so far it sounds a tad inevitable if she can't handle non monogamy.... How old is your daughter? Can she handle an explanation of what's going on & to be able to accept that her dad still loves her despite the differences between you & her mom?
She's 8 years old and is mature enough, I think, to understand that we both will love her even if we're not together, but I don't know if she can handle a divorce when my wife doesn't want one. That puts all the 'blame' on me (trying to see it from a kid's point of view).
yeah.... It sounds like it's a very difficult decision for you....It sounds like you care for your wife but you wish for a fundamental change in her perspective of the world..... is it realistic to ask her to respect your choices bewcause they aren't mean spirited & they are also difficult for you because you *can't change your basic nature?
It's very realistic to ask that of her, but there's SO much bad history between us connected to sex that it's difficult to bring that up at all.
Plus, the poly question is only one side of it. It is a big part of why I want to leave, but it's by no means the only part. Somethings are average stuff that every couple argue about. But right now, the main reason is I just want a different life right now. How can i justify/explain that to my daughter?
when she realizes that you are a part of her life & she notices that you are happier you won't have to explain... I don't know all the background stuff & I don't need to... but it really seems a fundamental problem....
when she realizes that you are a part of her life & she notices that you are happier you won't have to explain... I don't know all the background stuff & I don't need to... but it really seems a fundamental problem....
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*both* of you....state your needs clearly.... what *are* your needs?
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I've tried the therapist route before, and am trying again, but that takes so long. But in hindsight, no longer that Pagan path will.
But it's also the balance. I have no doubt that a child can wether a divorce and come out strong and happy, even more so because of it rather than in spite of it. But why put her through that if it's not needed?
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It sounds like it's a very difficult decision for you....It sounds like you care for your wife but you wish for a fundamental change in her perspective of the world.....
is it realistic to ask her to respect your choices bewcause they aren't mean spirited & they are also difficult for you because you *can't change your basic nature?
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Plus, the poly question is only one side of it. It is a big part of why I want to leave, but it's by no means the only part. Somethings are average stuff that every couple argue about. But right now, the main reason is I just want a different life right now. How can i justify/explain that to my daughter?
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