(Untitled)
There are a lot of things people don't know about me. For whatever reason. The reasons they don't know don't really matter so much as the things I want people to know. I'm so horribly bad at expressing myself its not even funny. By expressing myself I am not refering to the way I dress or the hairstyle I have or the ways I choose to modify my body
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So much of what you said here is stuff I feel very deeply, too, although I probably have the problem of being too effusive rather than too aloof.
But it makes such a world of difference to let it out and let the people you love know it. (I will be careful not to drip all over your comment section, btw, speaking of effusion.)
But I feel that way, too: I care so much more deeply about people who probably don't even know it (just as an example, you, Christina, Kristy, Colm, Dominique, etc.). And even though I do actively try to let people know, it doesn't always happen. And I try to make it a point to let people know when they touch me.
Either way, it's funny: I think you were actually in a dream I had yesterday, and I think I was thinking something like "That Jackie's a good girl--she should know it."
And you are: you're a good person, and you have a good heart, and you listen, but you're your own person too. Part of the nice thing (and I don't mean this in a condescending way at all, although that caveat doesn't bode well I'm sure) about friends who are younger than you is being able to watch them grow.
Seeing you from the early days of Stylus, when I only knew you as someone who was artistic and quiet, and then when you were promotions director, and then when you came into your own last year as GM, even though it involved a lot of struggles and trials, has been really amazing to watch. And you're only going to grow more and do more incredible things.
So thank you. That means a lot, and I know it couldn't have been easy to write. My parents were very demonstrative--which ranged from my parents frequently telling me they loved me to hearing, from my father, things like, "You're the worst person I've ever known" and "I have no interest in knowing you." So, that being said, if I come from a family that's so open (not always in a good way), I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to say all of that coming from a family that is very closed.
So thank you, Jackie. I admire this post. I'm glad I know you. And when I say, "We should see more of each other," I actually mean that!
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