Ah woah Awoi... [After second thought I thought I should call this entry "Fuck why am I so random"]
ハマっちゃうかもしれない…
On a whim, I was just looking for random Awoi-lyrics, [Well, actually, I was looking for a certain one after listening a little closer to a song that had just been playing. Those lyrics I have NOT yet found, but oh well] and luckily came across some Japanese blog that happened to have quite a lot of them.
Who would have thought I actually do as much as glance at lyrics written on some blog, lol? Nya, I'm okay with lyrics that might be wrong when it's bands I'm not too much into, see. That's why I'd actually not discard lyrics only because they're from a blog. Translations of those however will always carry a huge question-mark of doubt, heh.
So I started copying them into a document one by one, saving them for later, without really reading them.
However there was just something about them that I ... liked. Something about the structure. And but what I saw, it seemed very much to me like the lyrics were directly out of life-situations. Like dialogues, for example, and a writing style as if he were practically writing a diary entry, and somehow I found that appealing. While I do love complicated lyrics full of symbolism, chifres and beautiful words, I actually do like Otogi's, too, it seems. I mean, it has a certain 'charme', doesn't it? For the lyrics are far from meaningless, as much as I saw.
There also were comments by whoever runs the blog, like 'yaaah, Otogi writes good lyrics as always' and the such, so that made me think that I should read some more closely. Despite their simple-looking-ness, maybe they really really aren't, I thought.
Another 'charme' the lyrics have, I've found simply by listening to them the way I do [which is, they're on my playlist and just appear here and there, but there's nothing on my iPod yet etc, so it's really not much more than BGM. No intense listening.], is the way he hammers certain things into your brain. Like Shinitai shinitai shinitai shinitai... uhm, yeah I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna... You catch my drift.
A reoccurring pattern in the lyrics I found.
When I came to the last of the entries, I stopped and stayed a while to read the lyrics.
And, yes, I like.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen any other PVs by them apart from the ... was it suzumushi? ... And that was still at a time when I only had ZACRO (? I think), and they were not part of my playlist. Equals, no listening at all.
So, well. They're definitely different, as much I know, but hm, maybe they're different in a way I'll actually get even more into than I ever would have thought >.O So far none of their songs really impress me much or blow me away, I just liked the ambiente, I'd say. The overall desperate feeling they give off.
And all that without really listening to the lyrics, so I guess... ah maybe that'll change, now that I actually have a little more reference in order to understand them.
Like, the one random song that I don't even own but read nontheless, there it said things like for example, uh, very loosely translated,
The weakness of not being able to say stuff like "I want to die", and the weakness of not being able to think stuff like "I want to live"
Having lost even your place of refuge, before you, there is nothing.
What you are walking is a path that is so very dark it does not even gleam.
[...]
"When the nights that I'm alone come, I'm so lonely that I end up getting anxious about everything there is, and that's why I make it so that with/in pain I don't feel anything anymore. When I do that, I can be living again also tomorrow."
[...]
Don't forget them, the pains of this hand.
Don't forget them, the remaining scars.
You're a coward, you're a crybaby, but that is fine.
That is fine.
[...]
Despite all that, even though there are days when you think you want to die, it's okay
Somehow or other, live (on), please.
Just an excerpt from them, and as I said, loosely translated just now, but I don't know, I read the lyrics, and I almost felt like crying. I mean, I fucking can relate to that. And the way it's really written like a jumble of conversations and diary entries, it just makes it really... close...
So right now, I'm practically a little in awe.
Just a little, but yeah, there's awe.
And I guess I need to get off this here and end my ramble about them before I don't get back to their lyrics, lol.
Or wait. >.> Since I mentioned the PV.
So I remember there were things like... cells... cage-like things, always stuff I like, but in itself not a song that caught me. At. All.
But oh look, there's another PV by them.
I saw.
I clicked.
...
What ... what's going on with my hormones? Like uh, seriously.
>.O The fuck?! It was like instant-noodles, just not with noodles, but with turn-on instead.
Uh... *blinks slowly, before things hit her and she suddenly yells on the top of her lungs* YOOOOOOOOOOOKEEEEEEYYYYH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *yells all the way to Chicago Japan* ... *takes a breather* ...YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYH!!!!! ... *clasps heart and gasps for breath before screaming again* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOKEEEEEY!!!!!! ... WHAT HAVE YOU DONNNNNE TO MEEEEEEHEEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *breaks down under a waterfall of gushing tears while tearing at her throat in order to be able to breathe, then takes out note-book and adds another fetish to the list of fetishes she realized exist and, for one or other reason, cling to her, such as moles, mao-wrisstssdf, mao-noseslfdf.sf,sdfljsofijsdZLFJL!!!! YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.
...
Fuck why!? Angry evil death-glares now are even stronger than "that hair" that I always get so distracted by?! How is that even possible!!!! That hair ALWAYS GOT me. Now I didn't even... not...ice... I mean. Why is there such an 'angry evil death-glare fetish' AT ALL?????? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A FICCTIMMMMMMMMMMMM?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
... *takes another breather and lets the satisfaction of a perfectly sadist-masohyst act run down her thi--- uh... spine*
mmmmmmmhnnnnn.
*goes back to watch PV*
... You know what? Hormones are funny little things.
I mean, lets forget the fact that they rule our lives. They make me think things I usually would not think! You want proof? Like, now, just going on watching the PV, I just looked on all innocently, and then suddenly went like "Yeah, you can do me~♪" still looking with the same matter-of-fact gaze as before ignore that I was practically biting my fingers. Followed by "Like. Now."
I mean.
When do I EVER think that?
...
No, don't answer that >__>'
HORMONES, OKAY? Some of us still HAVE them!
muahahahah.
Which made me think, do you think that hormones rule fetishes too? 8D tralllalalaaa~♪ you littuhl fukkars <3
*returns once more to maybe finish watching PV this time around*
*comes back*
You know what? I don't even understand. I'm so... ... ... enamoured ... (... I'm actually shaking my head in disbelief I chose that word, right now, yes) ... that I uhm, don't even seem to catch anything off the song itself apart from that it's heavy and dark and I remember two words so far *scratches behind ear* no wait, I don't even remember as much *scratches ear again* I do remember death-stares and details of his lips and teeth however, very clearrrly and distinctively, and no why, that's not because I was thinking of them being on uh parts of uhm uhm what? No, I said NO, not at all, see. ... See? What do I want you to see anyway, I have no idea.
*goes back to go on again*
HAH! THESE WORDS I SHALL REMEMBER!!!! なーーーいて、だいーーーて…… [cr---y, fu---ck meih hold meeee] that's like that's like that's like that's like. ... like. Like what? I forgot what I was gonna say |D
OH RIGHT! Like ambrosia to my............. to... me. Woowhoo! And yes, love is painful, bb, wouldn't mind yah showi.... Wait, what, there's more? ゆらして？ 8D AHAHA I just happen to have a thing for this word *squirms in seat* AND OH, this guy... noideabutitwasntotogiahahaandtherewerestrings, he has AMAZING TEETH HURRRR [as in, I wouldn't mind him biting me, it would leave nice, unique imprints]
....
Oh... alright. Uhm. Nothing happened. You. Saw. Nothing. I'll just... uhm, leave.
I know, tomorrow I will wake up, I will go online, and upon seeing this entry I will go like "What. The. FUCK." and after repeating these three words a couple of times I will stare in horror and add "... did happen yesterday night?!" ... and maybe I'll rewatch the PV just in order to understand myself better, don't get any studyign dne, have incredibld may typoes and djust ... uhm, yes.
*clears throat*
So maybe. I will, uhm. Go back to lyrics now.
Yes.
... Maybe. 8D
On a whim, I was just looking for random Awoi-lyrics, [Well, actually, I was looking for a certain one after listening a little closer to a song that had just been playing. Those lyrics I have NOT yet found, but oh well] and luckily came across some Japanese blog that happened to have quite a lot of them.
Who would have thought I actually do as much as glance at lyrics written on some blog, lol? Nya, I'm okay with lyrics that might be wrong when it's bands I'm not too much into, see. That's why I'd actually not discard lyrics only because they're from a blog. Translations of those however will always carry a huge question-mark of doubt, heh.
So I started copying them into a document one by one, saving them for later, without really reading them.
However there was just something about them that I ... liked. Something about the structure. And but what I saw, it seemed very much to me like the lyrics were directly out of life-situations. Like dialogues, for example, and a writing style as if he were practically writing a diary entry, and somehow I found that appealing. While I do love complicated lyrics full of symbolism, chifres and beautiful words, I actually do like Otogi's, too, it seems. I mean, it has a certain 'charme', doesn't it? For the lyrics are far from meaningless, as much as I saw.
There also were comments by whoever runs the blog, like 'yaaah, Otogi writes good lyrics as always' and the such, so that made me think that I should read some more closely. Despite their simple-looking-ness, maybe they really really aren't, I thought.
Another 'charme' the lyrics have, I've found simply by listening to them the way I do [which is, they're on my playlist and just appear here and there, but there's nothing on my iPod yet etc, so it's really not much more than BGM. No intense listening.], is the way he hammers certain things into your brain. Like Shinitai shinitai shinitai shinitai... uhm, yeah I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna... You catch my drift.
A reoccurring pattern in the lyrics I found.
When I came to the last of the entries, I stopped and stayed a while to read the lyrics.
And, yes, I like.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen any other PVs by them apart from the ... was it suzumushi? ... And that was still at a time when I only had ZACRO (? I think), and they were not part of my playlist. Equals, no listening at all.
So, well. They're definitely different, as much I know, but hm, maybe they're different in a way I'll actually get even more into than I ever would have thought >.O So far none of their songs really impress me much or blow me away, I just liked the ambiente, I'd say. The overall desperate feeling they give off.
And all that without really listening to the lyrics, so I guess... ah maybe that'll change, now that I actually have a little more reference in order to understand them.
Like, the one random song that I don't even own but read nontheless, there it said things like for example, uh, very loosely translated,
The weakness of not being able to say stuff like "I want to die", and the weakness of not being able to think stuff like "I want to live"
Having lost even your place of refuge, before you, there is nothing.
What you are walking is a path that is so very dark it does not even gleam.
[...]
"When the nights that I'm alone come, I'm so lonely that I end up getting anxious about everything there is, and that's why I make it so that with/in pain I don't feel anything anymore. When I do that, I can be living again also tomorrow."
[...]
Don't forget them, the pains of this hand.
Don't forget them, the remaining scars.
You're a coward, you're a crybaby, but that is fine.
That is fine.
[...]
Despite all that, even though there are days when you think you want to die, it's okay
Somehow or other, live (on), please.
Just an excerpt from them, and as I said, loosely translated just now, but I don't know, I read the lyrics, and I almost felt like crying. I mean, I fucking can relate to that. And the way it's really written like a jumble of conversations and diary entries, it just makes it really... close...
So right now, I'm practically a little in awe.
Just a little, but yeah, there's awe.
And I guess I need to get off this here and end my ramble about them before I don't get back to their lyrics, lol.
Or wait. >.> Since I mentioned the PV.
So I remember there were things like... cells... cage-like things, always stuff I like, but in itself not a song that caught me. At. All.
But oh look, there's another PV by them.
I saw.
I clicked.
...
What ... what's going on with my hormones? Like uh, seriously.
>.O The fuck?! It was like instant-noodles, just not with noodles, but with turn-on instead.
Uh... *blinks slowly, before things hit her and she suddenly yells on the top of her lungs* YOOOOOOOOOOOKEEEEEEYYYYH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *yells all the way to Chicago Japan* ... *takes a breather* ...YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYH!!!!! ... *clasps heart and gasps for breath before screaming again* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOKEEEEEY!!!!!! ... WHAT HAVE YOU DONNNNNE TO MEEEEEEHEEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *breaks down under a waterfall of gushing tears while tearing at her throat in order to be able to breathe, then takes out note-book and adds another fetish to the list of fetishes she realized exist and, for one or other reason, cling to her, such as moles, mao-wrisstssdf, mao-noseslfdf.sf,sdfljsofijsdZLFJL!!!! YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.
...
Fuck why!? Angry evil death-glares now are even stronger than "that hair" that I always get so distracted by?! How is that even possible!!!! That hair ALWAYS GOT me. Now I didn't even... not...ice... I mean. Why is there such an 'angry evil death-glare fetish' AT ALL?????? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A FICCTIMMMMMMMMMMMM?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
... *takes another breather and lets the satisfaction of a perfectly sadist-masohyst act run down her thi--- uh... spine*
mmmmmmmhnnnnn.
*goes back to watch PV*
... You know what? Hormones are funny little things.
I mean, lets forget the fact that they rule our lives. They make me think things I usually would not think! You want proof? Like, now, just going on watching the PV, I just looked on all innocently, and then suddenly went like "Yeah, you can do me~♪" still looking with the same matter-of-fact gaze as before ignore that I was practically biting my fingers. Followed by "Like. Now."
I mean.
When do I EVER think that?
...
No, don't answer that >__>'
HORMONES, OKAY? Some of us still HAVE them!
muahahahah.
Which made me think, do you think that hormones rule fetishes too? 8D tralllalalaaa~♪ you littuhl fukkars <3
*returns once more to maybe finish watching PV this time around*
*comes back*
You know what? I don't even understand. I'm so... ... ... enamoured ... (... I'm actually shaking my head in disbelief I chose that word, right now, yes) ... that I uhm, don't even seem to catch anything off the song itself apart from that it's heavy and dark and I remember two words so far *scratches behind ear* no wait, I don't even remember as much *scratches ear again* I do remember death-stares and details of his lips and teeth however, very clearrrly and distinctively, and no why, that's not because I was thinking of them being on uh parts of uhm uhm what? No, I said NO, not at all, see. ... See? What do I want you to see anyway, I have no idea.
*goes back to go on again*
HAH! THESE WORDS I SHALL REMEMBER!!!! なーーーいて、だいーーーて…… [cr---y, fu---ck meih hold meeee] that's like that's like that's like that's like. ... like. Like what? I forgot what I was gonna say |D
OH RIGHT! Like ambrosia to my............. to... me. Woowhoo! And yes, love is painful, bb, wouldn't mind yah showi.... Wait, what, there's more? ゆらして？ 8D AHAHA I just happen to have a thing for this word *squirms in seat* AND OH, this guy... noideabutitwasntotogiahahaandtherewerestrings, he has AMAZING TEETH HURRRR [as in, I wouldn't mind him biting me, it would leave nice, unique imprints]
....
Oh... alright. Uhm. Nothing happened. You. Saw. Nothing. I'll just... uhm, leave.
I know, tomorrow I will wake up, I will go online, and upon seeing this entry I will go like "What. The. FUCK." and after repeating these three words a couple of times I will stare in horror and add "... did happen yesterday night?!" ... and maybe I'll rewatch the PV just in order to understand myself better, don't get any studyign dne, have incredibld may typoes and djust ... uhm, yes.
*clears throat*
So maybe. I will, uhm. Go back to lyrics now.
Yes.
... Maybe. 8D