[For Marian - dated 29 May]

[outlawrobin]

It had started like any other island day, it had only been after Robin had tipped the latest load of island vegetation into Much's pen (to add further insult to injury the deer was female, he'd come up with a new name if Much actually arrive for perhaps Marian had a point.) He was not unused to conversing with the deer though the topics tended

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[rebellious_lady]

It was a day like any other for all Marian knew. She had stayed abed later than her usual, finally rousing herself when the hut became too warm to stay inside any longer. Pulling on a tunic and skirt, she headed outside where it was sunny and bright. Silence was not immediately about that she could see, and Artemis was prancing in her stall.

"Yes Artemis, you may go frolic in the field," she said to her horse, stroking her nose before opening the gate to let her out to run. It was only then that she saw Robin approaching. "Good morning," she smiled at him, unwilling to be unpleasant so early in her day. "Have you come to break your fast, or were you and Silence to hunt?"

[outlawrobin]

"Neither," said Robin unable to hold his tongue. "I didn't mean to come this way at all. You are the last person I wanted to see at the moment." He internally winces at his words because he wants her temper even less. "I truly did not mean that the way it sounded."

[rebellious_lady]

"Am I?" Marian raised an eyebrow at him, any good mood she may have felt that morning dissolving at his words. "Is there another way to say you dislike me so that you'd I am the last person you would like to see?"

[outlawrobin]

"Yes," he said after a struggle to stay quiet and not answer the question. But her second question is easier because he can answer it honestly and correct her. "I am sure there are other ways to say it. But that is not what I meant and I do not now nor have I ever disliked you." Quite the opposite and Robin consider leaving - just going before this got worse but he knew Marian better than that and she has a horse. Unless she was annoyed enough not to follow.

[rebellious_lady]

"You do not wish to speak with me, in fact you confirm that I am the last person you wish to speak to. Yet you tell me that you do not dislike me?" Marian stepped toward him, her arms crossed over her chest. "Please, why else did you come here if not to insult me?"

[outlawrobin]

"I do not dislike you - I love you," he told her earnestly well aware he was only digging a hole for himself and that she did not wish to hear it. "I did not intend to come here. Since I woke this morn I have been unable to stop myself speaking my mind. I wished to avoid you so we would not quarrel. Again." Essentially he was now admitting that every time he saw her he was less than truthful - but only because of her wishes.

[rebellious_lady]

"You... Is this a joke?" She knew it was the truth inasmuch as he saw it. It's what made this so hard, the two of them talking, or so she told herself. It was not that she was still in love with him. "You do not want to fight yet you come here declaring both your love and disdain for me? What next?"

[outlawrobin]

"It is not a joke," he said exasperated, "if I think something I say it - I cannot help myself and I wished to avoid you only because there are thoughts you would not want to hear me voice." He did not especially want to voice them himself but if he must he could do it unheard surely. Except not."I have no disdain for you," he told her seriously, "but I have much for this situation."

[rebellious_lady]

"This is truly perverse," she said, now as exasperated as he, if not more. "This thing you describe? It has already happened to the people of this island Robin. Do not use your need to speak your displeasure at the life I have chosen and to hide it under a veil of island trickery."

Marian stepped toward him, her fury rising as well now. She wondered where Silence was, not that she needed any others to fight on her behalf. "You have disdain for this situation? Would that be these truths you speak, or my life with Silence?"

[outlawrobin]

Robin knew of that - he could hardly escape it being on the IPD and the council and yet it had not occurred to him that this was what this was. Yet his defence of himself was cut of by a compulsion to speak the truth on another situation. "I am hiding nothing - would that I could. I have no displeasure at your life. It is what I expected for you when I returned from the crusades - that your father would have found you a husband and you would be settled. I even thought at times that you deserved better than me. And certainly better your choice and a good man over Gisbourne

[rebellious_lady]

It was easier, she thought, to be angry with him. To let the minor annoyances build and simply deal with those. It kept them apart, she knew that well, and while there was part of her that regretted such, there was also part that appreciated it. That suspected they needed it. "Find me a husband. I had more say in the situation than you might surmise, and after my father was disgraced there were few enough who would want to be married to someone who was a potential liability

[outlawrobin]

Robin cannot help himself. "I would," he said. "Even if I had not been a liability myself." He knew well enough Marian would have a choice in her own future, that was not his point. But it does not change what her future is and that it not involve him. Not as more than a friend and even that is somewhat doubtful given the quarrels. Yet today it is not a quarrel but honesty and upset for them both and he cannot bear to see tears in her eyes

[rebellious_lady]

It is not until he turns to leave that she regrets telling him go, for all that she knows it is best for them both. "Robin!" She calls out after him, forgetting Artemis in her stall, Silence, everything else for a moment, Her feet are fast as she she catches up to him, grabbing his arm. "I do not want things to be as they are."

[outlawrobin]

He lets her hold his arm and then turns back to her and for a moment he behaves and then pulls her into his arms. He manages somehow to hold back from kissing her because as much as he wants to it only makes things worse. And he can't help but be resentful of her deep down "I don't want things to be as they are," he said. "This is your choice. Do not chastise me for respecting it."

[rebellious_lady]

"That..." Marian pursed her lips when he pulled her close, this had not been what she'd intended. "I simply meant I would like us to be friends Robin. Not to be as they are now."

[outlawrobin]

"And I fall for that one everytime," he said sounding bitterer than he meant. "I shall take myself out of your presence until I can hold my tongue to better preserve our friendship."