(no subject)
i got this in an email once, and i was thinking of it today. it is, sadly, all true. it is also a bit embarrassing, but i won't lie. i love louisiana. so here is a list of things to determine "how you know you're from louisiana" plus a few additions of my own.
The crawfish mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass. when i was a kid, i used to kick them over, and my mom would get really mad at me.
You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!" i had an accent like this once. i have obviously lost it since migrating to texas, because i would be sorely ridiculed if i still had it.
Every so often, you have waterfront property. flood much?
When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee." "dat road ova by da hebert's house wit da old traila by the ditch..."
When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold." yeah. it's true. i consider someone from shreveport a northerner. never listen to them when they say anything about cajuns. they don't know.
You've ever had Community Coffee.
You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.
You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.
You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. for those of you confused, texans call it a "poor boy."
The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.
You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. the catholic church, popeye's and football--a sunday tradition
The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake. slightly confused. crawfish and king cake season are the same. this would be better as crawfish, rice, cane, and hot as hell
You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. this is true. i didn't know that mardi gras wasn't national until i moved to texas. i was a bit disappionted. fiesta does not compare.
You believe that purple, green and gold look good together. don't hate.
Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. Peré. just try me. people in louisiana can't even pronounce it.
You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
You describe a color as "K & B Purple." as a child, i was spanked many a time in that old K&B. now it's a rite aid.
You like your rice and politics dirty.
You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins." only people from "nawlins" prounounce it that way. it's more like "nwarlins"
You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway. you get over the flying roaches. and the human-sized mosquitoes...it's a fact of life.
You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard. don't they?
You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana. serious possibility...
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. there is also a liquor (hard liquor) aisle in most drug stores. who needs a liquor store? just go to walgreens.
You have flood insurance. katrina? rita? anyone? anyone?
Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. mausoleums are the way to go.
You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast. i always did like the little celery stick...
You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws. or trample small children...
You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands.
You have a parade ladder in your shed. or you dress up for the parade. i always thought that shit was weird...
Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your first drink was from a go-cup.
You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods. again...mausoleum.
You reply to anything and everything about life here with "Only in Nahlins". again...only if you're from "nahlins"
You have a monogrammed go-cup. or a personalized coozie. everyone has one of those...
You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don’t think twice.
You shake out your shoes before putting them on. god only knows what kind of shit gets into them over night. especially when you leave them on the poarch.
Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food. i'm getting used to mexican...
You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.
You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality.
When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
You call tomato sauce "red gravy."
You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them. i never liked the term "sno-ball". i always called it a sno-cone.
Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.
Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw."
You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.
No one eats healthy. Fried Batter is actually a menu item in some restaurants.
You call a shopping cart a buggy.
You know how fun it is to go muddin but hate to get bogged.
Animals show up at your door and become your pets.
People fish in ditches.
You hold crawfish races before the boil.
Your neighbors call to complain that your fireworks (or gunshots) are disturbing their cows.
You dress up to go to Wal-Mart (the most exciting thing in town.)
You say things like "save it up" instead of "put that away."
You throw a party when the Saints win a game. (they'll make it to the playoffs one day...)
i added the last few. they're all true. i assure you.
The crawfish mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass. when i was a kid, i used to kick them over, and my mom would get really mad at me.
You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!" i had an accent like this once. i have obviously lost it since migrating to texas, because i would be sorely ridiculed if i still had it.
Every so often, you have waterfront property. flood much?
When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee." "dat road ova by da hebert's house wit da old traila by the ditch..."
When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold." yeah. it's true. i consider someone from shreveport a northerner. never listen to them when they say anything about cajuns. they don't know.
You've ever had Community Coffee.
You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.
You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.
You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. for those of you confused, texans call it a "poor boy."
The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.
You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. the catholic church, popeye's and football--a sunday tradition
The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake. slightly confused. crawfish and king cake season are the same. this would be better as crawfish, rice, cane, and hot as hell
You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. this is true. i didn't know that mardi gras wasn't national until i moved to texas. i was a bit disappionted. fiesta does not compare.
You believe that purple, green and gold look good together. don't hate.
Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. Peré. just try me. people in louisiana can't even pronounce it.
You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
You describe a color as "K & B Purple." as a child, i was spanked many a time in that old K&B. now it's a rite aid.
You like your rice and politics dirty.
You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins." only people from "nawlins" prounounce it that way. it's more like "nwarlins"
You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway. you get over the flying roaches. and the human-sized mosquitoes...it's a fact of life.
You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard. don't they?
You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana. serious possibility...
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. there is also a liquor (hard liquor) aisle in most drug stores. who needs a liquor store? just go to walgreens.
You have flood insurance. katrina? rita? anyone? anyone?
Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. mausoleums are the way to go.
You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast. i always did like the little celery stick...
You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws. or trample small children...
You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands.
You have a parade ladder in your shed. or you dress up for the parade. i always thought that shit was weird...
Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your first drink was from a go-cup.
You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods. again...mausoleum.
You reply to anything and everything about life here with "Only in Nahlins". again...only if you're from "nahlins"
You have a monogrammed go-cup. or a personalized coozie. everyone has one of those...
You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don’t think twice.
You shake out your shoes before putting them on. god only knows what kind of shit gets into them over night. especially when you leave them on the poarch.
Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food. i'm getting used to mexican...
You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.
You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality.
When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
You call tomato sauce "red gravy."
You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them. i never liked the term "sno-ball". i always called it a sno-cone.
Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.
Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw."
You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.
No one eats healthy. Fried Batter is actually a menu item in some restaurants.
You call a shopping cart a buggy.
You know how fun it is to go muddin but hate to get bogged.
Animals show up at your door and become your pets.
People fish in ditches.
You hold crawfish races before the boil.
Your neighbors call to complain that your fireworks (or gunshots) are disturbing their cows.
You dress up to go to Wal-Mart (the most exciting thing in town.)
You say things like "save it up" instead of "put that away."
You throw a party when the Saints win a game. (they'll make it to the playoffs one day...)
i added the last few. they're all true. i assure you.