New developments
It certainly has been an interesting past week. Full of suspense, questions, answers and alcohol. A regular soap opera if you may. Guess I better start at the beginning of it all.
If you'll recall from my last LJ entry, ambiguous as it was, it was about me being jealous that Matt James was with Em at the time. And it got me thinking - I wasn't sure how much I wanted to go out with him, or how much I did like MJ. But I knew that I liked the idea of NOT having him even less (if that made any sense). I guess ultimately I made the gambler's decision and figured it was worth the risk to tell MJ that I did like him and see how it all panned out. Because I've had this situation happen to me in the past before (with Ed) where I wasn't too sure if I liked them, and then they went off with someone else. And I was jealous and regretted it for sooo incredibly long. And there was no way I was going to put myself through that again. I figured I would always regret not making the move at all more than making the move and being rejected. It's the uncertainty and "what ifs" that kill everything.
And so Thursday when I went over to MJ's house to finish off the home-brewing, I wanted to talk to him about it. But I completely chickened out, because well... I was chicken! I thought I'd have plenty of time throughout the night to do something about it all. And it was a good night - pints of beer, dancing at Pugg Mahones - ah, the days of 2004. It was a really fun night. And I finally made my move when faced with the dilema of MJ going home with Em that night. It was suck up my pride and put my cards out on the table time. So I grabbed him, kissed him, and told him that I did like him and had been incredibly jealous for the past couple of days. How very TV show like of me, I know. But hey, it worked :) Unfortunately there was a lot of angst and upsetness going on afterwards with the whole Em situation, but I think things are ok at the moment. And offically (as of April Fool's day... ha!), I'm now dating MJ. Or going out. Or whatever. I have no idea. I'm not sure how serious everything between us is to be honest.
But I guess what has surprised me so far is... um... how comfortable I am with it? It was as though once I broke through that line of "yes, I do like him" that everything just became so easy. It's not awkward being with him at all, or being out with our friends (who kept coming up to me and saying that they'd predicted this months in advance - yeah whatever guys!!). I think it helps a lot that we were pretty good friends beforehand, and that we like the same stuff (Futurama, beer, sleep :P, etc etc) - definitely eases the comfort factor. But then again.... I think that brings up another point, where it may grow into a situation where we're just friends who snog rather than two people who are seeing each other and actually really like each other. Arrrgh! Too much to think about!
In other news, EMS camp was pretty good. Spent almost my entire time in the kitchen again (arrgh, I'm so sick of that!!), but I also won $68 in the bike betting pool. So all in all, I think I came out on top - money and a boyfriend(?).
Odd times. But I'm confident they can be good times too. And even if things don't work out between me and MJ, well... at least I'll know that I tried, and I didn't avoid the situation or chicken out like I could have.
If you'll recall from my last LJ entry, ambiguous as it was, it was about me being jealous that Matt James was with Em at the time. And it got me thinking - I wasn't sure how much I wanted to go out with him, or how much I did like MJ. But I knew that I liked the idea of NOT having him even less (if that made any sense). I guess ultimately I made the gambler's decision and figured it was worth the risk to tell MJ that I did like him and see how it all panned out. Because I've had this situation happen to me in the past before (with Ed) where I wasn't too sure if I liked them, and then they went off with someone else. And I was jealous and regretted it for sooo incredibly long. And there was no way I was going to put myself through that again. I figured I would always regret not making the move at all more than making the move and being rejected. It's the uncertainty and "what ifs" that kill everything.
And so Thursday when I went over to MJ's house to finish off the home-brewing, I wanted to talk to him about it. But I completely chickened out, because well... I was chicken! I thought I'd have plenty of time throughout the night to do something about it all. And it was a good night - pints of beer, dancing at Pugg Mahones - ah, the days of 2004. It was a really fun night. And I finally made my move when faced with the dilema of MJ going home with Em that night. It was suck up my pride and put my cards out on the table time. So I grabbed him, kissed him, and told him that I did like him and had been incredibly jealous for the past couple of days. How very TV show like of me, I know. But hey, it worked :) Unfortunately there was a lot of angst and upsetness going on afterwards with the whole Em situation, but I think things are ok at the moment. And offically (as of April Fool's day... ha!), I'm now dating MJ. Or going out. Or whatever. I have no idea. I'm not sure how serious everything between us is to be honest.
But I guess what has surprised me so far is... um... how comfortable I am with it? It was as though once I broke through that line of "yes, I do like him" that everything just became so easy. It's not awkward being with him at all, or being out with our friends (who kept coming up to me and saying that they'd predicted this months in advance - yeah whatever guys!!). I think it helps a lot that we were pretty good friends beforehand, and that we like the same stuff (Futurama, beer, sleep :P, etc etc) - definitely eases the comfort factor. But then again.... I think that brings up another point, where it may grow into a situation where we're just friends who snog rather than two people who are seeing each other and actually really like each other. Arrrgh! Too much to think about!
In other news, EMS camp was pretty good. Spent almost my entire time in the kitchen again (arrgh, I'm so sick of that!!), but I also won $68 in the bike betting pool. So all in all, I think I came out on top - money and a boyfriend(?).
Odd times. But I'm confident they can be good times too. And even if things don't work out between me and MJ, well... at least I'll know that I tried, and I didn't avoid the situation or chicken out like I could have.