Out Of Control (2009) - Part 4
I thought, that nobody was home, so who…
When I got to the kitchen door I saw Jiyong-hyung standing in front of the stove, holding a pan in one hand. In a blink of an eye every detail of yesterday night popped up in my mind. What would happen now?
Exactly after my thought ended hyung turned around to place the eggs onto two plates. Finally he raised his head to find me in the door frame, staring at him. A moment of silence surrounded us before the other cleared his throat awkwardly. He didn’t raise his voice but motioned me to sit down. It was the first time for us to be that awkward.
Nevertheless we endured it. After finishing our meal I started to clean up the dishes when he broke the silence.
“Well, ahm… Don’t wash the dishes. We can clean it up later.”
I put the wet plate back in to the water, not daring to speak up until it would be needed.
We both knew that there were things, certain problems that we had to clear. There was no way to avoid the up coming conversation.
My mind seemed to go blank by the second, I felt like vacuum took up all the place in my head. I just followed hyung into the living room.
We sat down next to each other, making sure to have enough room between us. The situation felt more than just strange. You just couldn’t sum it up with pure words.
I could feel him nestling around, thinking desperately where to begin.
“Well… last night. I did touch you, right?”
I nodded. Another moment of silence took place. But he interrupted it.
“When did that start?”, he asked cautiously.
“Around a week ago. Every night you went further… and further.”
I didn’t dare to look up, feeling way too emberassed about the words leaving my mouth without a second thought. I suddenly felt as if I could trust hyung and talk about everything but on the other hand it felt that damn awkward that I just wanted to stay silent forever.
“You didn’t notice anything, did you?”
“N-no. No, I wish I would have…”, he sighed in despair.
I caught myself stealing glances at him, but trying to resist looking at him was too hard to keep it up for a long time.
“A-and… how far… did I-?”, he let his question unfinished waiting for a response. I gulped down my saliva, forcing myself to breath regulary.
“You were about to… Well, you know, touching my- you touched me between my... legs.” I could hear him catching his breath.
Another weird silence came between us.
I could swear that I heard our digital clock ticking, but I knew that this was impossible. I guess that I slowly went crazy.
“And… now?” I kept trying to fill the silence, didn’t know what to do.
“I-... no, it’s nothing.”, he suddenly broke out but held himself back immediately. My head turned around in surprise at his sudden change in tone, just to see my hyung’s currently flushing cheeks in a bright red.
Cute. Argh, why did I have to think that now?!
Shaking my head from left to right, I tried to get to my senses.
Nevertheless the thought was perfectly present.
He glanced at me for a moment before turning his head around. My curiousity increased by the second until I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“What is it, hyung?”
The only response I got was an unidentifiable mumbling. Pulling myself together I gripped his wrist and pulled him slowly towards me.
He looked shyly at me, the shade of red getting even darker if possible.
“Well, I thought about a solution, but… It won’t please you, I think.”
Surprised I freed him from my firm grasp.
“Why that? If it will help me, us…”
Then a terrifying idea hit me.
“You don’t want to change rooms, do you? Hyung, even though y-!”
“No, that’s not it!”, he interrupted me.
“I mean…” He stopped and cleared his throat a second time this day.
“I mean, it seems as if my body needs you. AH, this is so wrong.”, he cut himself off. I dryly swallowed once. My heartbeat doubled and I could feel my cheecks heating up.
He checked on me once, making sure to be allowed to explain further. His eyes fell onto the couch before going on.
“Maybe if I… if I would touch you while being awake… it would stop at night. Maybe it will satisfy me so that I won’t disturb… you… at night.”
My eyes widened in surprise. He wanted to touch me while being awake? So… he would know what he was doing. He would be conscious, noticing every reaction. This was a completely different situation! When he was sleeping I could reason his behaviour as an unconscious action of his body, maybe caused by a dream about a model who was in his arms and not ME! ... Urgh!
Just the thought of this option send goosebumps of disgust all over my body. But honestly, a dream about a model was the most probable answer to everything. At least I thought that way.
The only really disturbing aspect was the fear that Jiyong would find out about my feelings for him if I agreed to his request. I wouldn’t be able to hold back, that was for sure.
While considering carefully the pros and cons to my hyung’s plan, my body chose on its own, deciding for me before I could come to a conclusion. Subconsciously I could hear Jiyong-hyung apologizing. That it was a bad idea of him, he repeated again and again but I nodded in agreement which shut him up.
“Let’s try it.”
His flustered expression confirmed his disbelief in how things went on.
“Are you sure? You should reconsi-!”, he wanted to reasure himself but I simply answered with “I did”.
Now I slowly understood why nobody but us were home. Hyung must have planned everything out to make me feel as comfortable as possible even though he didn’t like his own suggestion of forcing me to let him touch me. But he…
“You don’t force me to anything. I’ll accept your proposal.”
His eyes were glued on mine, trying to realise what just left my mouth.
“Ok, then… just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”
I nodded. When hyung stood up and held his hand out for me to grab it, my body jerked up in excitement. My knees were shaking in anticipation.
But the adrenalin rushing through my veines was more than enough to make me stand up. Holding hands he led me into our room. It felt weird to see both of us holding hands, just as if we were… a real couple.
I could feel my blood flowing into my brain right after that thought hit me. At the same time my hand got sweaty and I was more than embarrased because I couldn’t even hold my body’s reaction back by just a simple touch of our hands.
Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to begin with.
Before I could think twice or object anymore we arrived at our room, standing in front of our bed. My eyes fell onto the bedsheets when almost immediately a picture of us being intimate with each other shot in to my head. I couldn’t deny that my face was probably shining in a bright red. My cheeks felt incredibly hot, almost burning.
I glanced shyly towards him just to see him doing the same thing.
“So… should we begin or…”
He was so cute but embarassing me so much simultanously that my head started spining.
I just then rememberd the way our hands were still firmly locked with each other because now he was pulling me towards him.
Instinctively my body let itself being led by him. It wasn’t important what he did I just went along. Just right after he pulled me towards him I felt myself losing control over my body. I turned around, facing him.
Forgetting how wrong it should feel to let a man take control over my body.
He looked me in the eye and after seeing me nodding my head in confirmation he used both of his hands to grab my neck.
In the blink of an eye I could feel the sensation sent trough this touch of him. The reason for me to feel the touch in a different way then usually would be the different meaning behind the move and the knowledge that he did it fully conscious this time and on his own accord.
I couldn’t help but anticipate his next move. His one hand kept on holding my neck while the other one moved towards my shoulders and then stopped immediately. As soon as he started moving my eyes lost focus of his eyes. Instead they found themselves an imaginery spot, staring holes into the air would describe my situation the best. But as soon as I realised that he stopped in his act I looked up again.
His cheeks got red and he couldn’t even look me straight in the eye. I never imagined him being that shy or saw him like that before.
I started wondering what his problem was when he told me.
“Well, maybe you could tell me what I did in my sleep. I don’t really know where to begin.. ehehe…”, he laughed at me shyly, letting his eyes fall onto the floor and then back to my eyes. His lips formed a straight line, showing his discomfort. I was left speechless.
This almost sounded as if he didn’t have any experience in this category.
I truly didn’t expect that. But somehow it made me happy. This meant that I was…
“Hyung. Is this the first time for you to get that close to…”
I left my sentence unfinished, waiting for him to answer somehow.
And there, he suddenly looked up in anger.
“Give me some credit, Ri. Do I look like a player or-?”
“NO, I didn’t mean it that way. But well, you know, you looked pretty experienced when touching me in your sleep.” Even though I was ashamed by my own words I had to state the truth. And it helped.
I could almost see the light being turned on in his head. He nodded understandingly.
“I see. I guess, I have more courage in my sleep than awake.”, he smiled a bit, not knowing what to do next. An awkawrd silence took place when he finally cleared his throat.
“So… tell me. What should I do?”
I thought about the first night. We both needed to start out carefully so the very first time he started doing all those things with my body was perfectly matching my idea.
“Well, you… you touched my butt and… caressed it.”
OH MY GOD!!! If I could I would sink into the earth and never come out again. But I knew that was impossible and further on even more embarrassing stuff would happen. Now, pull yourself together Seungri!!!
In the next moment I could feel him moving towards me. He stood right in front of me, my gaze fell onto his shoulder when ...
TBC
A/N: Give me some credit, girls! I need to tease you a little bit, now that I'm uploading one chapter after another. ^.-
See ya soon!