When exactly did they become my main fandom?
I hope this is just temporary, but it seems like the Albus/Gellert fanlisting is down. Does anyone else have this problem? It can't disappear just like this... *sigh*
So, I have a bunch of fics to finish and some originals to ponder and maybe even actually write. What do I do? Write another ficlet, of course! This time it may be a product of my strange state of mind (I think I would get alarmed if I happened to be in any normal state of mind for once), although, as always, I'll leave the judgment up to you.
I suspect that sometimes when I hit a slump with all my stuff, I just string together something short in a day or two to prove to myself that I can still do it. Not sure what I am proving this time. That I can start and finish something just because I want to, probably. Futile, I know.
Title: Unlike Him
Pairing: Albus/Gellert
Rating: SFW
Word Count: ~290 including the quote
Summary: Some feelings will never quite fit.
Notes: Musings on liking and loving in Albus and Gellert's context. I wondered about including the quote for a bit, but then again, it was that scene that ultimately convinced me to go for this pairing when I first read DH. And I will admit now that I have no idea if the pages are numbered the same way in the UK and US editions. If anyone had the US version and would be so kind to check for me, I'd be most grateful.
Disclaimer: The characters, the quote, and the whole damn universe belong to JKR. I'm just playing for free.
Unlike Him
“Grindelwald. You cannot imagine how his ideas caught me, Harry, inflamed me. Muggles forced into subservience. We wizards triumphant. Grindelwald and I, the glorious young leaders of the revolution.”
~Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, p. 573
Albus Dumbledore never claimed that he liked Gellert Grindelwald.
It would be an unfortunate word to use, this like. Too weak, certainly. He liked pleasant things and pleasant people, the way he liked his studies or Elphias Doge. Yet at the same time, being able to say that he liked Gellert would at least have a sense of permanence, the subtle underlying cause of a great explosion. Perhaps the feeling would always have remained, perhaps it would have been harmless.
But Albus loved Gellert, and therein lay the difference. Albus loved him, obsessed over him, and missed him. Contemplated him, wanted him, thought he surely would die without him, dreamed of him.
Same for Gellert’s reckless mind. At first, Albus was intrigued by it-and before long that very mind was challenging him continuously, going everywhere his own had feared to penetrate, certainly going everywhere at once. Albus followed-he raced it sometimes, while other times let his own thoughts mingle; this, finally, was unity. Perfection. Power. Gellert’s ideas flowed far more easily than his and led him down the most rewarding path of all.
Yes, Albus thirsted for Gellert’s mind. He did not “like” it.
And then one morning that glass tower collapsed, every bitter shard digging into his skin. Albus still loved Gellert then, no matter how hard he willed that emotion to shift towards hatred. He had become too absorbed, and it would track him to the edge of life.
Albus did not like Gellert Grindelwald. That was his tragedy.