"This FOX unit is a nut-fest!"
Found the video for the "tea and scones" convo thanks to the mighty Google. (The segment starts at 1:25, but feel free to listen to the whole thing. XD)
Click to viewHE IS ACTUALLY FREAKING OUT, I can't get over this XDD
Seriously, the guy who tells you to stay calm and patch yourself up after a nuclear explosion, DRIVEN INTO A STATE OF PANIC BY THE LACK OF TEA AND SCONES.
They never give it a rest either:
Sigint: Ah, you're wearing the chocolate chip pattern.
Snake: Chocolate chip? You mean this camouflage?
Sigint: Yeah.
Snake: I've never heard of a camo pattern called that before...
Sigint: Yeah, I know. I just thought it up right now. The chocolate chip pattern is probably designed to provide cover in a desert environment. It should work best against a sandy or rocky background.
Snake: Makes sense. But why'd you call it chocolate chip?
Sigint: 'Cause that's what it reminds me of. [So that's why BB still wears it in PW. Nostalgia~]
Snake: What?
Sigint: Those little round cookies the major is always snackin' on.
Major Zero: They're not cookies. They're scones.
Sigint: Major!
Major: And it's not a snack. It's afternoon tea.
Sigint: Snack, tea, same thing.
Major: No, it's not! Look here, afternoon tea is a fine old English tradition. [HE SAYS IT IN SUCH A DEDICATED VOICE]
Sigint: Uh oh. Here we go again. Talk to you later, Snake.
Major: The origins of afternoon tea go back to the Victorian Era. Anna Maria, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, was...
And finally, the old classic:
Para-Medic: Snake, have you seen 007: From Russia with Love?
Snake: I don't like those movies. Real spies are nothing like James Bond. It's pure fantasy.
Para-Medic: Snake, I don't think the Major's going to like you saying that.
Snake: And even though it's fiction, I can't help but comparing myself to Bond.
Major Zero: What exactly don't you like about James Bond? Is it the fantastic gadgets? The cars? The guns?
Snake: Major...! [FUCK, THIS IS GIVING ME A RANK FETISH]
Major: Snake, wouldn't you like to have a gun shaped like a pen?
Snake: What good is a pen going to do me in the jungle? I'd look like a fool. [With such a stupid tool.]
Major: Then what about a snake-shaped gun? [YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE, ZERO.] You could make it look like you're grappling with a giant snake and then get a shot in on the enemy while they're distracted. Heh!
Snake: OK, now you're being ridiculous. [♥]
Major: We'll make you a snake-shaped gun that folds up and fits into an attache case.
Snake: Will you give it a rest?
Major: Oh, I get it. You're worried about how to handle the ladies, aren't you?
Snake: No...
Major: I knew it. Hmm... To tell you the truth, I don't like the idea of playing hanky-panky with enemy femme fatales, either. [Yeah, I wonder why.] But that's part of Bond's appeal. You could learn a thing or two from him. What about this EVA? What are you planning to do with her? [LOL Major, why do you care? Wink wink.]
Snake: I...I don't even trust her yet.
Major: That's not what I mean. You can't let yourself get involved. This is a game of spy versus spy. She's using you just as much as you're using her.
Snake: I realize that.
Major: You've got to grab the initiative. And to do that, you have to get the upper hand in the relationship. That's what a spy is supposed to do. [Explains that one cutscene, I suppose. XD]
Snake: Get the upper hand...I don't think I'm cut out for that mission. [True, instead you let her throw your poor radio in the fireplace, you complete dork.]
Major: Maybe if you changed your code name to Double-O-Snake? ['CAUSE "NAKED SNAKE" JUST ISN'T ENOUGH INNUENDO]
Snake: Major... [Translation: "I AM DISGRUNTLED LEAVE ME ALONE ;A;"]
Major: 007 is the biggest thing to come out of England since the Mayflower. I wouldn't be surprised if they made 20 more of those movies. [He always has been a visionary.]
Para-Medic: Didn't you know? The Major is a huge James Bond fan. Don't get him worked up like this.
Snake: Worked up?
Para-Medic: Maybe you don't realize this, but now that you've got him started talking about Bond, I'm going to have to listen to him lecture for a whole hour after he gets off the radio.
Snake: You have my sympathy.
Para-Medic: It's too bad you can't enjoy such a great movie, though. [Oh Quack ♥]
Snake: I guess I'm just one of those people who can't enjoy spy flicks.
So sad. XD