Realizations part 2
The reason I'm posting a sequal to my last blog it to put a little clarification, and add something's I've again realized. If you read the last one, then you will understand this, if not, read it then this. Yeah, it's like watching a movie, you can't watch number 2, then go to number one. Anyway, on with the story.
So in part one I said that I indeed had doubts in my mind as we moved to Arizona. That part is true, but there was still more love there then anything. The doubts were small, but they were there. I guess I let it keep going to see just like she did if in fact once away from family and all things would develop like we hoped. There was another reason for me, very underlying, but it's there. I wanted to be able to come home each night after work and not be on post and have to deal with work, and people that only wanted to deal with work. I needed to be able to go home to someone that really didn't understand the military lifestyle, so when I did get home no big questions were asked. I could therefore move on to the better side of my life, the civilian side. No work, no military. From 5 at night till 6 the next morning I was free from everything. Yeah it's wrong to use that as a reason, but it was there, and for the time it lasted was easily the best I'd had in my almost 3 years in the military.
To add some to the whole love deal, I do in fact love her more then anyone else in this world. I always told myself growing up that when I find the one person that I'd give up sports for if it meant she'd live just one more day, (those that know me will gape when you read this but it's true), that's when I'd know she's the one I'd marry. Well this girl is in fact that girl, in my mind. It's come to the last few days that she's not exactly in the same mindset. And it may never be that way. That in fact does hurt, but I will have to deal with it. My whole thing is just to keep a friendship MINIMUM, any more then that will be a plus to my/our lives. I'm no longer going to try and force that issue. I believe she's the one that said this, and I heard it again recently: "whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly." Don't get it twisted, my whole "moving on" blog still stands in effect, but now is the time that I start to try and move on one piece at a time.
I was thinking last night and throughout the day today, she's said in the past that she has trouble with going over 2 months with someone. We were technically together for 4 months and change, but only TOGETHER, for about a month give or take. In my life, I have yet to really have a serious relationship for over 2 months myself. The whole thing with my last "interest", I was gone the entire time, we were TOGETHER for about 3 weeks before that blew up in my face. Basically, score two on the two month theory.
Another thing I've been thinking about, what if I had never joined the military? Would I have met my last interest, or even this girl? I guess I can thank the whole military thing for leading me down this path. In three years, I've probably grown more then any other time in my life with everything I've been through. So I'd really have it no other way, in the meeting who I have respect, even though at times I wish for a time machine.
A theory I've used at work forever, I've now adopted to my ENTIRE life. If it aint broke, fix it till it is. Mechanically you can understand it. But when it comes to my life, I'll explain what I mean quickly. In every relationship we've been happy till I said/did something stupid. With her, we broke up and all that. Things came back slightly, then I wrote part one and it had the wrong effect, my stupid move. I always tend to do things like that. Thus the reason I adopted my If it aint broke motto to my life. My whole life theory now, I'll end up single for the rest of my life, because I continue to do stupid shit when things are good.
The rest of my life continues to go as well as can be expected. I hear mortars and things a few times a day, but it's not close enough to hurt us. It's starting to get hot here, and we continue to go to the gym. Not only am I working on the lifting and strength aspect, we are also adding cardio to it. My goal with cardio is to get back to my sub 13 minute 2 mile time I was at in Germany. With the lifting, just add some muscle to the body. Simple as that.
Love to all, I'm around when you need me
SPC Jason Rynders 63B US ARMY
So in part one I said that I indeed had doubts in my mind as we moved to Arizona. That part is true, but there was still more love there then anything. The doubts were small, but they were there. I guess I let it keep going to see just like she did if in fact once away from family and all things would develop like we hoped. There was another reason for me, very underlying, but it's there. I wanted to be able to come home each night after work and not be on post and have to deal with work, and people that only wanted to deal with work. I needed to be able to go home to someone that really didn't understand the military lifestyle, so when I did get home no big questions were asked. I could therefore move on to the better side of my life, the civilian side. No work, no military. From 5 at night till 6 the next morning I was free from everything. Yeah it's wrong to use that as a reason, but it was there, and for the time it lasted was easily the best I'd had in my almost 3 years in the military.
To add some to the whole love deal, I do in fact love her more then anyone else in this world. I always told myself growing up that when I find the one person that I'd give up sports for if it meant she'd live just one more day, (those that know me will gape when you read this but it's true), that's when I'd know she's the one I'd marry. Well this girl is in fact that girl, in my mind. It's come to the last few days that she's not exactly in the same mindset. And it may never be that way. That in fact does hurt, but I will have to deal with it. My whole thing is just to keep a friendship MINIMUM, any more then that will be a plus to my/our lives. I'm no longer going to try and force that issue. I believe she's the one that said this, and I heard it again recently: "whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly." Don't get it twisted, my whole "moving on" blog still stands in effect, but now is the time that I start to try and move on one piece at a time.
I was thinking last night and throughout the day today, she's said in the past that she has trouble with going over 2 months with someone. We were technically together for 4 months and change, but only TOGETHER, for about a month give or take. In my life, I have yet to really have a serious relationship for over 2 months myself. The whole thing with my last "interest", I was gone the entire time, we were TOGETHER for about 3 weeks before that blew up in my face. Basically, score two on the two month theory.
Another thing I've been thinking about, what if I had never joined the military? Would I have met my last interest, or even this girl? I guess I can thank the whole military thing for leading me down this path. In three years, I've probably grown more then any other time in my life with everything I've been through. So I'd really have it no other way, in the meeting who I have respect, even though at times I wish for a time machine.
A theory I've used at work forever, I've now adopted to my ENTIRE life. If it aint broke, fix it till it is. Mechanically you can understand it. But when it comes to my life, I'll explain what I mean quickly. In every relationship we've been happy till I said/did something stupid. With her, we broke up and all that. Things came back slightly, then I wrote part one and it had the wrong effect, my stupid move. I always tend to do things like that. Thus the reason I adopted my If it aint broke motto to my life. My whole life theory now, I'll end up single for the rest of my life, because I continue to do stupid shit when things are good.
The rest of my life continues to go as well as can be expected. I hear mortars and things a few times a day, but it's not close enough to hurt us. It's starting to get hot here, and we continue to go to the gym. Not only am I working on the lifting and strength aspect, we are also adding cardio to it. My goal with cardio is to get back to my sub 13 minute 2 mile time I was at in Germany. With the lifting, just add some muscle to the body. Simple as that.
Love to all, I'm around when you need me
SPC Jason Rynders 63B US ARMY